Choosing Temporary Love

Sometimes everything around me feels fake, as though it's there but really not. It's there cause I can touch and feel it, but really.. is it there? Is "all of this" really mine or am I just making it mine by possession. And how does this possession-emotion change when we choose to live in love, and a life of "Let Go, Let God"?...

Everything, all things - are temporary. We must enjoy, appreciate, be grateful and love while its here, available to us. And then when its not longer here - in our possession - that's ok too, cause we still had the enjoyment, that love, we shared while it was in our now.

If you hold-on to "something"; fearing its distance and/or of it leaving, this simply creates more fear inside of yourself causing you to keep holding-on tighter. Inevitably once it "leaves" or "returns" to itself, our fears are simply reinforced with more strength since we've just reaffirmed their existence as truths by giving them power with our "possessiveness" and "insecurities".

Turning things around, by being grateful to have had the opportunity of love and being grateful of the new opening it's now provided to us; replaces this love-possessiveness with grateful-love.

Thus, when a "leaving" occurs, and a space is left inside of us - we have a choice of detachment. Either way, something is to come in its place...and what'll replace it, depends on how we detach and when we detach.

If we choose to grieve continuously and not want to let-go, the void is filled with nativities and past-fillers of nothingness leaving us constantly wanting to "go-back".

Letting go and embracing the emptiness to allow a "new" filler, fills us with anticipated joy and love even if we don't have anything to fill it with.

The Universe will provide to us, fill that now vacated space with something joyous and for us to love - because that is the vibration we are emitting and wanting - and so it will be brought to us in tri-folds. ...Since Like-Attracts-Like, more of whatever we are projecting is bound to come-in and fill whatever space is available.

Gratitude flicks that switch from "Oh no, don't go!" to "Thank you for having been here."

Everything in our path is exactly as it should be, always. Everything is a teacher, we just need to listen to its lessons and continuously learn - and then move on.

What happens outside myself is not within my control; however since we are all energy and we resonate from our Source-Energy, we are One. And so, just because I can't control what happens outside of me doesn't mean it isn't me - all that I see is really a part of me. It's (what 'I' am shown - my lesson from 'my' life-teacher - in 'my' now) just showing me how a part of me is vibrating - and that's what I am seeing. If I like it, that's good - and if I don't like what I am being exposed to - then I need to make a decision - change about myself. This has nothing to do with anyone else, but me - because they are me. The more I try to "control" or "change" them - the more I am judging myself.

I must seek the message, learn to listen and grasp the lesson to be learnt and then let-go and move-on in Love. All of the chained-emotions I feel trapped with are simply intertwined-fears projected on to me. All of my self-talk, ingrained-beliefs, everything keeping me in my dark-emotional-pit are fear-based attachments I decided to keep in my mind. Maybe at some past-point in my life they had provided me with some benefits - however I must chose to let them go in order for them to be replaced with more accurate - better for me now - beliefs. All teachers bring forward lessons in which we need to decide 'what' about them we 'wish' to move on with (beliefs). These choices of lessons are our Universal rights - and no one can tell you whether you are wrong or right. Only you can 'feel' these beliefs, and you can also choose to change them at any point of Your Life.

At times I feel as though I am stuck in a barricaded limited emotional state where everything around me just seems to be pushing my downward spiral at a higher speed. When this happens I need to make a choice of either sulking in my state and whine about how bad my life is and so giving this depressive state more truth OR I could choose to acknowledge the truth of the matter and accept a 'new' truth and choose to change my path. Seek my lesson, acknowledge it and move on.

The blame game comes-in where you set yourself up to believe that someone else holds the lock & key for whatever situation you're in. Coming back to your inner-self, we need to re-acknowledge that "they" are "me", and so in actuality, I hold my own key.

Life turns around and changes when we turn around and change.
I accept my own destiny by choice.

The security and comfort lifestyle I choose comes from the camouflaged fears I've accepted within myself as being 'ok'. I've accepted this belief as being a "safe" place. When I choose to move beyond this acceptance / belief description, then it will then be replaced by whatever 'new' definition (for me, at that point in my life).

For now, this "safe" lifestyle ...what does it really keeping me safe from?
Could it be from ... "freedom"? While I stay locked-in and safe in my cave, I see the shadows wondering about in the unknown - I feel a little envious inside - but not enough to run out and join them. I stay protected, possessing what I "know" and "own", convincing myself that this is 'ok'. ...Cause really, Freedom is a scary place, right? ...and plus once I get there, then what would I have to look forward to? ;-)

What is Enough?

What is enough?

When is enough?

When do you realize that who you are and what you currently have is enough?

…The Answer is “never”. It’s that simple... or is it?... "hmmmm..."

What is enough, really?

We keep searching for Meaning and with this search we keep being presented with Choices.

Someone’s choice reasoning isn’t necessarily going to be the same as yours – hence why they’re choices.

The result of the choice made brings us to life-lessons.

Until we learn what’s needed to move on, for our next step, to our next choice – we ‘stay’ in a life-loop.

Sometimes enough is becoming vulnerable to Love.. and living in Faith.

Quote:

“The deepest secret is that life is not a process of discovery, but a process of creation. You are not discovering yourself, but creating yourself anew. Seek therefore, not to find out Who You Are, but seek to determine Who You Want to Be.”
― Neale Donald Walsch

I wrote about this last year, and here is a brief summary:

Creating yourself isn't something you can just Google. This is a life-long learning, and learning encompasses failures and success (because no one can succeed without failing), and never ends.

Imagine if you created a piece of art and this was "the masterpiece" of your existence. It's done. ...so now what? Do you just need to crawl in a corner and wait for death? No - you continue life.

This was "the masterpiece" of the right-now's existence. It is now in the past and a new one awaits to be created.

Continuously creating brings more growth into your life whereas if you simply created and stop - you become that "old school" mentality of "that's just how it is".

Your creativeness is gone - you don't believe you've got anything left cause you gave it all already and now it's just there and "that's just how it is".

Don't try to change me. Don't tell me what to do. I created that "masterpiece" and so now I'm done. I 'did' my time and now I'm just going to sit here and look at my "masterpiece" while it collects dust. Leave me alone. 

So if your mindset is of “enough” and when “enough” is reached you’ll be happy – …you’ll be waiting a longtime.

Once you’ve reached… “good-enough” this should be “enough” to allow you to move forward. – Cause I’m sure that your original “enough” has changed several times already.

A quote I heard a while ago that resonated with me was: “Don’t let perfect ruin good-enough.”

Life is beautiful and continuously flowing and changing… focusing on perfection takes too long and the closer you get the more perfection it’ll need.

…take a deep-breathe and choose to live in love.

“Do not waste the precious moments of this, your present reality, seeking to unveil all of life's secrets. Those secrets are a secret for a reason. Grant your God the benefit of the doubt. Use your NOW moment for the Highest Purpose- the creation and the expression of WHO YOU REALLY ARE. Decide who you are- who you want to be-and then do everything in your power to be that.

It is not nearly so important how well a message is received as how well it is sent. You cannot take responsibility for how well another accepts your truth; you can only ensure how well it is communicated. And by how well, I don't mean merely how clearly; I mean how lovingly, how compassionately, how sensitively, how courageously, and how completely.

If you think your life is about DOINGNESS, you do not understand what you are about. Your soul doesn't care what you do for a living-and when your life is over, neither will you. Your soul cares only about what you're BEING while you're doing whatever you're doing. It is a state of BEINGNESS the soul is after, not a state of doingness.”
― Neale Donald Walsch

“Enlightenment is understanding that there is nowhere to go, nothing to do, and nobody you have to be except exactly who you're being right now.”
― Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations With God: An Uncommon Dialogue, Vol. 1

 

In summary, just know that:

When dumb people want nice things

Another great learning!!

Yesterday, I watched this video from Marie Forleo, it has some significant length to it (37:30) but it is INDEED worth every minute (and seconds...lol). Brendon Burchard provides wonderful energy and great tips! I can't wait to read his book! :)



Brendon experienced a dramatic car accident which brought him to ask himself some life questions: "Did I live? As in did I live my life vibrantly and fully? We'll ask did I love? Did I love openly and honestly and completely? And did I matter? Did I make a difference?"

Brendon goes on to explain that life has various needs, as well as 'we' as human also have 10 basic drives - which he mentioned are described and talked about in his book, The Charge.


He does go on to describe that people need to express themselves creatively:

"And so, for some people creative expression isn't just about how you decorate your house or what you wear today. It's how consistent are you in truly expressing who you are and your desires to the world? And the more that you are able to do that, the more you do feel more engaged with the world, and certainly the more the world engages with you."


And then 3/4 of the way through the video, Brendon explains why, we sometime loose charge.... the momentum... the groove. He referenced this primarily for entrepreneurs, however I believe this applies to anyone and to everything we do in life: 

"You got, you know, you got a bunch of low hanging fruit. These projects that could be completed if you just sat down and gave it another day, another two days, and you worked it and blocked off time and you protected your time and you just did that. You'd crush it. But right now, what people do is they've got 5 or 6 or 7 open projects that are never going to be complete or be close to being complete. And that creates misery in our lives because there's a part of us, the human drive for congruence. Those two combining in a way says, hey this is something that's on your plate. It's not done. You said you were gonna do it. Why not? And we have this internal conflict now that makes us miserable in our business. And so I tell people all the time, one of the reasons to master productivity is not just so that you get stuff done. It's so you actually get the benefit of feeling fulfilled and satisfied again."

And so, in summary (for me) - this made me go "hummmm...". I do indeed have a bunch of projects on the go and ...am indeed looking for (at times) the low hanging fruits since they're quick and easy!

...and then the Universe spoke to me, again today - It sent me to here: http://networkedblogs.com/Bat79

Another Ha-ha-ha sarcastic moment from the Universe... Article was titled:

When dumb people want nice things



Could you be a little more ...I don't know, nice?! lol
I think God is getting tired of having to repeat himself to me... ;)

Sections of the article that "spoke" to me were:

How many people do you know that want the “simple” solution? It may not even work, but they prize simplicity over everything else. These are the kind of people who ask questions like, “What’s the ONE thing you’d recommend…”

...I ask that question... what's wrong with that? "hmmm...."

HEY IDIOT. TOP PERFORMERS DON’T WANT TO KNOW “ONE” THING. THEY WANT TO KNOW EVERYTHING. BY ASKING FOR THE ONE THING, YOU HAVE JUST RAISED YOUR HAND AND BASICALLY TOLD EVERYONE, “I’M A LOSER AND I’M NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING WITH THE USELESS ANSWER YOU’RE ABOUT TO GIVE ME, WHICH BY THE WAY IS USELESS BECAUSE I ASKED A USELESS QUESTION.”

Ouch! ... "hummmm..."

This is similar to so many things in our culture: Just get started! (Which is not always good advice.) Give me the one thing to do! What are some crunchy tactical tips??
Oh, you want me to learn about strategy? Hold on mister. You’re saying I need to take time — months, sometimes years — to perfect my craft? No! Get out of my way! Give me the life hacks so I can do it today!!

“You know, practise doesn’t make perfect. Practise makes permanent. The more you practise the wrong things, the more you lay on the hard drive and the harder it is to get rid of it.”

The Korean approach demands such sacrifice that it will not work with some athletes or sporting cultures. Some want immediate gratification in the form of medals or championships instead of long-term, long-lasting success.”

So are we, population of the Western world, ...have we really gotten to the point where value is lost? Have we reached the point where we don't care who plants the fruits, who takes care of them and whatever else is required... Are we at the point where we're just all pickers and we're just picking the ones we want without valuing the craftsmanship behind each bite?

...I don't think so... well I don't think EVERYONE is like this. Otherwise we'd have no more fruits to eat. I truly believe in the 'Good' of this planet and I know that we, humans, are where we are because of the "fruit". There are those out there who don't care, and are just going to 'waste' and 'eat' without contributing back... but I know that there are more of "us" out here!!

And each day is a new day, and each new day allows me to live, learn and teach about "fruit".

Coincidence... I Think Not!!

Sometimes... not really... it's pretty much a lot of the time...I get lost in my own little bubble constantly trying to find a quick and easy way out... but when I stop, I find myself asking: 

"Out of what? Where am I going, why am I trying to leave, what do I want?"

This is where I find myself again today. Asking myself these questions...

Lately I've been 'trying' to stay more open in acknowledging what's actually happening around me - and 'trying' (...I really got to stop "trying" and start just "doing"... but that's a whole other story!!) to being more aware of the 'signs'. ...you know?! ...the signs of the Universe where it talks to you...

A few of my latest 'signs' where just a few weeks ago, while on holidays, I was hanging out at Indigo (Chapters) with one of my sisters... and actually talking about how the Universe gives us signs and instincts to guide us through life. We had just got out from the bookstore and were headed back home when just before leaving she took out a small snack size package of nuts, and asked me if I wanted any? We each took a few into our hands (just shook the small bag to let a few fall out), and before we did anything else I asked her to freeze!

I asked her, "What's numeric number provides significance to you? ...For me, my number is 4. However as long as its a even number, it's good for me." She stopped for a brief moment and said: "9."

We opened our hands containing the nuts (I shit you not!) and in her hands were 9 nuts!! And in mine were 8!

(... by the way the Universe has a sense of humour too - I just realized that to give us this message, it used a bunch of nuts! ...Ha-Ha-Ha, very funny! <-- sarcastic laugh.)   

So then the next time the Universe decided to teach me was in early August, the 7th to be precise. I was browsing online and came across the following:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/sedona-method/

Free Audio Recordings -- Sedona Method. These techniques will help you release negative thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that hold you back. They're easy to apply, and Hale walks you through them step by step. 

Two days later, I decided to view the movie:
http://www.learningstrategiesevent.com/lettinggo/
(Which at the time, was made available online for Free for a limited time.)

After reading, listening, watching and learning about the Sedona Method, I didn't make anything further about it... until that Sunday. I was returning from a Photo Shoot, from out of town (I have a passion / hobby for photography.), and got consumed with an overwhelming "I just need to cry" emotion... and having heard just that week (from the Sedona Method article and recordings) that we need to accept emotions when they come to us, acknowledge them, feel them and then... let them go. -- I allowed myself to cry. ...and let me tell you it wasn't pretty! ;) But it felt amazing.

The next day while walking during one of our work breaks, I expressed that it felt like a liberation and weight fell off my shoulders. I have internal instincts as to what was brewing inside and what liberations occurred ... and am now letting go.


I don't usually pay attention to online "methods" or what-I-perceive-as-gimmicks, since I've been programmed to believe that everyone just wants your money and whatever they're selling you don't need. --- ... personal development has taught me that, this is a rooted-belief that has served a purposed at some point in my life. However instead of leaving after serving its purpose, it ingrained itself in to my "this is what is true" mind-cabinet. So now my duty is to accept this thought, feel it, and then let it go. ...thus making room for a new thought to come in.

The following week, again listening to my instincts (inner-voice) while driving I turned the radio on and the below song was playing. So I asked the Universe... "Was just randomly selected for me to hear?", so I switched to another radio station... once commercial announcements were done, this song came on!! For Real!! :) I love the Universe!!



You can read the lyrics here: http://www.directlyrics.com/kelly-clarkson-dark-side-lyrics.html 

The song talks about people having dark sides and not being perfect - however they still want to be loved and for their loved ones to not give up on them.

...this songs speaks to me at various levels. ...but that's a whole other blog post! ;)

 In summary, don't dismiss coincidences as "voodoo" nothings or just ... coincidences. The Universe, God, does speak to us. For some it'll be through spirits, through Angels, through nature, through dreams, ....and/or even point-blank through Road Signs! Learn to listen to the whispers before they hit you in the head with a loud Bang!

Stop Pretending and Start Living

Personal Development is a forever ongoing learning.
Just when you think you've got it covered... the Universe presents itself with a "ok... now I think you're ready for this..." situation that can sometimes make you step-back and ... re-examine the situation and kind-of leave you pondering...

I was at a point in my life, back in early spring, where I thought I was doing ok. And I was.
Things were rolling fine, and were starting to fall into place... somewhat...

Anyways - I happen to fall upon the below video randomly (which can only mean that this was the Universe talking DIRECTLY to me!!). 

The video was recorded at a Tony Robbins seminar.

It’s really long so you might want to grab yourself a cup of hot something, get into a comfy chair, eliminate obviously distractions and ...step into the world of "Tony Robbins"...

PS Also to take as a note, he uses (at times) vulgar language – so this is a warning if you have sensitive ears.

http://pinterest.com/pin/267190190362684606/

Video really starts at about 5:28…

Summary: It’s a about a woman (who at the time didn’t know this would happen to her at this moment) –

Discovers… well uncovers… who she truly is. It’s quite a touching story.

This older-woman has lived her life… how she ‘thought’ was she was ‘supposed to’.

Tony makes her look internally and… has her discover “her”self.

After viewing this video, I was (have to admit it) completely moved. Somewhere in 'her' I saw myself. I was this hard, tough-exteriour, "I-can-do-it-myself" kind of woman who really didn't want anyone or anything to help me. ...I know I've grown since then but this type of thinking did form a base for my 'roots' and...making me believe 'this is who I am'.

So this sense of vulnerability and weakness was an ah-ha moment for me. I have previously written about vulnerability however for some reason, at that particular moment in time - this version of vulnerability stood out for me, it spoke to me.

This testimony gets me every time and touches my inner-emotions with such 'silk'. It's so smooth of a transition and so soft - you just can't help yourself, but to fall in love.

Around the 1hour 30 minutes, an ah-ha moment takes place and in the next few minutes a huge liberation takes place...  

Lisa (the older woman) eventually says: "How on earth could I think such thoughts?"

To which Tony replies:
"When people get stuck in a Fear place, and when people get in fear they focus on significance and certainty. And those are both important human needs but they should only both happen after we first love. And then the significance is a beautiful significance. The significance of wanting to give significantly, love significantly, contribute significantly. And then certainty lasts because it has the vibration of love in it and not the vibration of controlling it."

Wow.. if that don't get to you then I don't know what will.

Instead of trying to be appropriate, people just need to tell and live the truth. - Amen to that!

Recommended Readings - Dr. Bhante Saranapala

On July 16th, 2012 I attended a seminar hosted at our local University -

Tranquility through Inner Observation
"Buddhist Meditation for Daily Living"

"Meditation is a Powerful Way to taking control of your mind." - Buddha -

Lecture by: Dr. Bhante (Bhikkhu) Saranapala, Ph.D
West-end Buddhist Centre, Mississauga, Ontario
www.westendbuddhist.com

Dr. B. Saranapala provided the audience with a list of Recommended Readings

- Dhammapada trans. by Narada Thera
- Mindfulness in Plain English by Henepola Gunaratana
- Mindfulness, Bliss and Beyond by Ajhan Brahm
- What the Buddha Taught by Walpola Rahula
- An Introduction to Buddhism by Peter Harvey
- Buddha and His Teachings by Narada Thera
- Buddha in Your Backpack by Franz Metcalf
- Buddha's Brain by Rick Hansen
- The Wise Heart by Jack Kornfield
- Middle Length Discourses of the Buddha trans. by Bhikkhu Bodhi
- In the Buddha's Words by Bhikkhu Bodhi
- A Still Forest Pool by Ajahn Chah
- Taste of Freedom by Ajahn Sumedho
- The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
- Awaking Meditation by Madawela Punnaji
- Who Ordered this Truckload of Dung by Ajahn Brahm
- Beyond Mindfulness in Plain English by Henepola Gunaratana
- Eight Mindful Steps to Happiness by Henepola Gunaratana
- The Path of Serentiy and Insight by Henepola Gunaratana
- Lotus in the Fire by Jim Bedard

How To Do Everything Wrong

– by Steve Pavlina (http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2011/07/how-to-do-everything-wrong/)

While I normally write for people who are interested in improving their lives, I’m aware that many are committed to the opposite path. These people deliberately decline steps that would lead to measurable improvements. They prefer that everything goes wrong — for as long as possible.

Sometimes they screw up and accidentally do something right. They’re usually able to sabotage these unwanted successes in short order, but they like it best when they can prevent these positive experiences from ever happening in the first place.

If you count yourself among this under-acknowledged and under-appreciated group, here are some suggestions for how you can do a better job of staving off success and ensuring absolute failure till you die.

Wrong Road

Notice the paths that happy and successful people take, and avoid those paths. Favor the popular paths since those will help you achieve average results at best, and average results should safely prevent undesirable feelings of fulfillment. The best roads are those that leave you feeling like you’re walking in circles till you’re too tired to walk anymore and must retire. Roads that are flat or which slope downhill are often good choices, and they tend to satisfy the popularity requirement as well. Avoid any paths that lead over hills or near mountains; the elevated views are disturbing. Head towards terrain you dislike since it’s easier to hate your life when you hate your surroundings. If you can manage to get lost as well, that’s wonderful.

Wrong Tendencies

Take stock of which habits are creating the best results for you, and abandon them. Replace them with habits that ensure no forward progress. Even better are habits that cause backsliding. Watch lots of TV. Eat fast food. Avoid exercising. Make Facebooking the highlight of your day.

Wrong Place

It’s important to live in a place that emanates a going-nowhere vibe. Look for spots that attract people with average or below average incomes, and favor surroundings that are so ugly, even Shakespeare would succumb to writer’s block. Live with people who will encourage you to take paths you clearly don’t want; living with your parents for as long as possible can be very helpful here.

Wrong Time

Never take action when you can justify delay. Stay on the sidelines for as long as you can, and avoid the field for as long as possible. Be non-punctual. Eventually the opportunities will pass. There’s less pressure in showing up late since no one will expect much of you. If you act too soon, you’re risking success.

Wrong Reason

People are notoriously nosy, and sooner or later they’ll inquire about your plans. There’s an unfair assumption that everyone should be looking to improve their lives, so you’ll need to get good at deflecting their queries with false responses. When they eventually take note of your seeming lack of forward progress, put the blame on external factors such as the economy, how unfair your boss is, how unreasonable your ex was, etc. If you tell people the truth, they may try to motivate you to make some changes, and you definitely don’t want that.

Wrong Day

Get up late if you feel best as an early riser, and drag yourself out of bed early if you feel best sleeping in late. Throughout the day, strive to do the opposite of whatever makes you feel happy and productive. Most people find it helpful to get a job doing work they dislike. This ensures that even if they manage to enjoy a nice morning and/or evening, the hours spent at work will drag the whole day down, ensuring an unpleasant overall experience.

Wrong Week

String several wrong days in a row, and you can create a very mediocre week — perhaps even a downright bad week if you work at it. It’s important not to do anything genuinely restorative on the weekend — burn up the time with laziness, inactivity, and pointless entertainment as much as possible. You want to head into Monday morning feeling disempowered from the get-go. If you can manage to maintain feelings of stress, depression, or boredom throughout the whole week, you’re golden. Once you’re locked into such a pattern, don’t do anything to upset it.

Wrong Method

Learn from other people’s failures, and copy them. Use methods that have proven ineffective in the past, ensuring that you’ll get similar lousy results. Look to your own past as well. Notice what has never worked for you, and keep doing it. If it didn’t work back then, it will continue not working today.

Wrong Technique

Don’t be too creative or try to innovate. Copy someone else’s technique if you can. Fitting in with the crowd is safer than standing out as a distinct individual. It’s easier to stave off success if you favor the popular techniques of the masses — don’t do anything too fancy. Style is too close to success.

Wrong Mix

Make sure the key ingredients you’re putting into your life don’t mix well together. Get a job that doesn’t pay enough to cover your expenses, so you can’t make ends meet. Get a relationship partner who can’t get along with your friends. Stock your kitchen with foods that keep you feeling slightly sick much of the time. Keep yourself off balance.

Wrong Genes

Disempower yourself by blaming your problems on your DNA. Let your genes serve as the ultimate limitation. Ignore the truth that your thoughts largely determine how your genes express themselves.

Wrong Ends

It’s hard to avoid setting goals altogether because part of your brain will want to fill this void. Keep this spot filled with analog pseudo-goals that will attach to your goal receptors and effectively block real goals from accidentally falling into place. These have been proven to work well: make more money, get a relationship, find a job, etc. The lack of specificity makes procrastination go down easier.

Wrong Means

If you ever do get sucked into working on a goal, take the most circuitous route you can. Instead of starting a real business that provides value and makes money, keep yourself occupied with pointless busywork like fussing over the design of your logo and business cards. Switch projects frequently so that nothing ever ships. Create the illusion of progress without causing anything quantifiable to occur.

Wrong Plan 

Create flawed plans to reach your goals, plans that any reasonably intelligent person would be able to poke full of holes. Be sure that at least one crucial step requires a horcrux.

Wrong Hands

Avoid becoming too good at anything. Skill is a recipe for success, so keep yourself as unskilled as possible. Avoid books, audio programs, seminars, and educated people. Your education ended a long time ago; don’t try to resurrect it. Let your unskilled hands fall further behind with each passing year.

Wrong Eyes

Use a perspective that disempowers you. Rule out the angles that would make your problems look too easily solvable. If you blow problems out of proportion, it’s easier to stay stuck. If a problem looks too solvable, you might be tempted to actually solve it, and that’s only going to speed you along the path of success — bad idea!

Wrong Prize

Set goals that others expect you to achieve, even if you don’t really care about them. Surely everyone else is right, and you’re wrong, so get with the program and pretend you like it.

Wrong Questions

Ask questions that cannot possibly provide you with helpful answers, such as Why can I never get ahead? Why are people always mean to me? Why am I such a ‘fraidy cat all the time?

Wrong Replies

Now take those lame questions, and try to answer them anyway. Be as disempowering as you can. I can never get ahead because I’m stupid. People are mean to me because I’m a loser. I’m a ‘fraidy cat because I have no social skills, so I know I’ll embarrass myself as soon as I open my mouth.

Wrong Drum

March to the beat of someone else’s drum, never your own. The best advice for you to follow is that which comes from people who seem to care about you but who are too incompetent to know what they’re talking about. Seek health advice from overweight smokers. Consider money advice from people who can barely pay their own bills. Relatives are often great choices for this.

Wrong Scum

Hang out with disenchanted losers regularly, elevating them to buddy status. Better yet, swear loyalty to them as your peer group. If anyone shows the slightest hint of ambition or brilliance, accuse them of being crazy, and either numb them with sufficient quantities of alcohol, or boot them out of your tribe. Openly welcome new members who demonstrate their adeptness at sarcasm and who wield a video game collection that rivals your own.

Wrong Energy

Keep your vibe intentionally out of sync with happiness, success, and fulfillment. Visualize failure whenever you get a chance. When you feel pissed off, amplify it into rage. When you feel sad, feed the sadness into a mopey numbness that you can drag out for weeks. Worry a lot. Know that things are always going downhill for you.

Wrong Signs

Determine that you’ve consumed a sufficient number of venti lattes that your dormant psychic abilities must have finally awakened. Interpret every incoming text message as a sign that you’re on the right path, even though the only people who seem to care that you exist are just as lost as you are. Interpret the seeming lack of forward progress in any quantifiable areas of your life as spiritual growth. Inner growth is always invisible.

Wrong Intensity

Be a hapless couch potato for 28 out of every 30 days who thinks that getting up at 7am is the height of ambition. Then follow it with a 48-hour mania spree where you tell everyone you can about an inspired idea you’re never going to implement. Blow your wad with excited talk once a month; then return to the cozy comfort of inaction.

Wrong Tune

You know you’re on track to misery when you listen to the overall song of your life, and all you can perceive is discordant noise where everything sounds like it’s out of tune. If something starts working, and you begin to hear something resembling music, then figure out what’s creating those nasty harmonies, and break it.

Wrong Too Long

If you’re already applying most of the above, then you shouldn’t have to worry about success, happiness, and fulfillment infecting your dreary existence. You can relax and coast to the coffin from here. Keep it up! :)

Incidentally, this post was inspired by the song “Wrong” by Depeche Mode. Watch the video on YouTube.

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A colleague of mine shared the above Steve Pavlina blog post. 

This was a wonderful reminder…that got me thinking:

I’m a very Successful “Do Everything Wrong” kind-of person …who's chosen to NOW change my ways!

Reading this awakened my inner-diva who came-out pretty loud (in my mind’s open space) and said:

“Ah! Are you going to sit there and take that?...” as she flung her hair to the side and then shook it to the back.

“You’re the ‘Queen’ of doing-things-wrong. And since you’ve mastered that why bother changing? Really …you’re quite comfortable where you are, how you are.

Geez you’ve managed pretty darn well this way… why would you just go and change that?!”

Hummm… And so my dusty-little-strong-willed-hard-headed-girl popped-out of her corner and just stood there (in my mind’s open space, beside this diva… who’s now filing her nails) and just looked at my inner-me (piercing into my soul’s eye) and …without words I know, I just know.

…Breathe-in and out… And Remember: