Team Membership and Leadership - Points to Ponder

I am willing to give credit where credit is due - however I do not know the source of the below lists. If you know where these points come from or who authored them, please let me know so that I can add appropriate footnotes. Thank you.

8 Points to Team Membership

1. Understanding the Context and Purpose
2. Contribute ideas
3. Listen
4. Accept Decisions
5. Clarify Tasks
6. Co-operate
7. Accept Coaching
8. Demand Review

Team Member Traps

1. Keeping quiet
2. Not listening
3. Getting on with your job regardless
4. Doing other people's work
5. Wandering off
6. Fragmenting the team
7. Proving you were right
8. Ignoring Coaching

8 Points to Team Leadership

1. Explain the Context and Purpose
2. Identify the critical issues (separate from constraints)
3. Encourage contributions
4. Make Decisions
5. Assign Tasks
6. Monitor Progress
7. Coach
8. Review

Team Leader Traps

1. Not seeing members' point of view
2. Getting over-involved in the action
3. Feeling that you have to have the answer
4. Being the technical expert
5. Ignoring social and programming issues
6. Fixating on one issue
7. Fear of standing out

Discover Your Passion!

Wow when looking at back at how long its been since I really started thinking about my passions; defining them; and setting purpose & clarity - it's been a LONG time, years already!

I have discovered that many-a-times my passion focus sometimes shifts depending on how I feel.
Which only reaffirms the ever so popular saying:

Photo Source: http://magnificentquotes.tumblr.com/post/15042283052/life-quotes

23 Keep your heart with all vigilance,
    for from it flow the springs of life.
24 Put away from you crooked speech,
    and put devious talk far from you.
25 Let your eyes look directly forward,
    and your gaze be straight before you.
26 Ponder[a] the path of your feet;
    then all your ways will be sure.
27 Do not swerve to the right or to the left;
    turn your foot away from evil.

a.k.a. simplified version of Proverb 4:23 means, 

"Be very careful about what you think.

Your thoughts run your life."  

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+4%3A23-27&version=ERV

Sometimes what I think about, read about, watch on T.V., or learn about online, etc... affects my 'mood' and thus influences my thinking and... in the end, ends up interfering with my True Passion (Purpose).

If you've already discovered your passion and have put it into practice then Congratulations! You sense of fulfillment and joy in being able to live your passion must be reflected in your wonderful work that you do!

However if you're still looking, searching, wondering about "What is your passion?" or if you kind-of get a sense that you know but now are wondering "What am I supposed to do now?" - no worries, you're not alone!

Millions of people live their everyday lives not getting that "sense of fulfillment & joy" in their daily activities or chosen career paths ...But that doesn't mean all hope is lost! Reclaiming your purpose and its chosen path can be a change you choose to make; it's a choice you alone need to take.

Making changes in your life don't necessarily need to be drastic and life-altering; sometimes just looking at things differently can make all the difference! You don't need to quit your job; leave your relationship; jump off the boat to make things happen... For some, yes - some of these drastic changes are needed; however for the majority of us, small changes are all that's needed!

Remember: "Understanding and Learning about yourself & who you truly are are key elements in establishing your true-connection." ~ Tammy Mathieu

Here are a few tips, questions, and quotes to get you started... thinking!

QUOTES:

"Working at a job to build your resume is like withholding sex till you retire." ~ Warren Buffet
Find work in something you are passionate about; live your passion everyday and enjoy it! Why wait till you retire to do what you love - choose to live it, do it as part of your career. And if it can't be part of your career, have your 'job' somehow jump-start your off-work passion. This way your purpose is to keep 'working' to fuel your passion!

"You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with." ~ Jim Rohn
Choose your surrounds (and friends) wisely. You are worth it. How can you grow and evolve if everyone around you is at a lower or same-level as you are. 
You probably won't keep climbing the stairs or continuing on your journey if the ones around you aren't challenged or motivated in the "same" way/things you are. Thus leaving you with a sense of guilt, which probably keeps all of you in the same spot. Shake things up & change things!

"First they IGNORE you,
then they LAUGH at you,
then they FIGHT you,
then you WIN." ~ Mahatma Gandhi
If no one stood out, everything would be the same. Don't be part of the problem, be part of the solution - let go of judgement, and embrace change. Sometimes letting go of what was and what is...  allows for what could be to come.
And remember, not everyone will always agree - and it's not your job to defend, but to understand. You won when you made the choice. 

"Become a self-expert. If you don't know what you're looking for you're never going to find it." ~ unknown
Do you know who you are? What you like / don't like? What are your unique strengths, values and experiences? If you're not clear about yourself - how do you expect anyone else to be?
Yes, you will find work/career/jobs... and do what others tell you to do. Although once you've become a self-expert, you'll then be the one telling people what you can do for them.

Here are a few links / quotes I found relating to "Discovering Your Passion":

Whether we choose to listen to our inner voice is up to us.
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/Caroline-Myss-on-How-to-Find-Your-Purpose-Video#ixzz2BlGzHHl0

This video's (interview) is about a Graphic Designer's transition to Photography HOWEVER it's underline message is more profound...http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=LxxFSU6doDo#!

Vocation doesn't come from a voice "out there" calling me to become something I'm not. It comes from a voice "in here" calling me to be the person I was born to be.
Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/What-are-You-Meant-to-Be-Doing-Find-Your-Calling#ixzz23jLFRKw4

Questions to ask yourself:

WHAT IS IT YOU COULDN'T DO WITHOUT / LIVE WITHOUT DOING?
Discover that --> and then LIVE it!!

Fill-in the blanks: "When my life is ideal, I am ..." [try using a ___ing verb here; and use present tense].
Be as clear and precise as you can.
Focus on who you are and what means most to you.

When my life is ideal, I am enjoying complete financial freedom.
When my life is ideal, I am living in the home of my dreams.
When my life is ideal, I am exploring the world.
When my life is ideal, I am sharing my love and wealth.
When my life is ideal, I am creating beautiful art.
When my life is ideal, I am  relaxing and meditating daily.
When my life is ideal, I am welcoming people into my life and into my home.
When my life is ideal, I am playing with loved ones in my beautiful backyard.
When my life is ideal, I am openly connected at all levels with my spouse.
When my life is ideal, I am allowing myself to receive.
When my life is ideal, I am living for the now.
When my life is ideal, I am enjoying life with lots of health, energy, stamina, and vitality!
When my life is ideal, I am having fun in everything I do!
When my life is ideal, I am inspiring others to discover their passions.
When my life is ideal, I am living my passions!

The more you write them down the more some will seem to jump out at you! You'll also feel a deeper connection with some more than others... narrow down your list till you feel comfortable with a for-now Top 5!

Review your Top 5 and apply them as much as possible to your daily activities.
Every few months, do a self check-in to see if you Top 5 are still applicable... they may need a little word-smithing... or if you see yourself NOT living some of your chosen Top 5 Passions, ask yourself why?
Is it really something that still has meaning for you? Should it be in your Top 5? Maybe your list needs a review...

Also as you go-along your journey (daily life) maybe create yourself some "markers" for your Top 5 Passions to help encompass its true value/meaning.
Stay focused and clear. And try to be as positive as possible.
For example:

When my life is ideal, I am allowing myself to receive, accept and trust.
markers:
- I've let go of my past.
- I am accepted by everyone.
- I'm rejoice in giving and receiving.
- I love and am loved.

When my life is ideal, I am creating beautiful art.
markers:
- I express myself via "Art" (photography; poetry; music; sketching; painting).
- I take time to "smell the roses" and "view the sunset".
- I go with the flow.

When my life is ideal, I am enjoying complete financial Freedom.
markers:
- I am able to spend joyfully.
- I am financially abundant.
- I am living in my "house" by the water, in the countryside.
- I am "work-free".
- I am receiving money from various sources / external means.
- I am able to give and help others.
- I am able to travel the world and share with everyone my journey.

What's on Your Canvas?

This is how my day started - I try to find "an inspirational quote for the day" and today's was:

 

...and so la-dee-da I continued going about my day.

...then <<BAM!>> here comes the Universe with a lesson!

I received a phone call and all was well ...expect for this 'tiny' little comment made.  Now I can start blaming a multitude of things; point the finger; blame my hormones; blah-blah-blah...

But all in all - everything pointed me back to "my" today's message:

My experience is to "let go" of what others think.
I AM painting a life of "Love" and "No-Judgement" - for me.
My canvas is the result of my here-and-now.
My thoughts are my brush strokes and
My choices are what gets put on (in) to my "experience".

*IF* I choose to mess-up my canvas; I'll then need to "think" of ways to make it better.
*IF* I choose to add stuff to it; I also need to realize that it'll impact all future outcomes.
...my painting (my canvas) is indeed *MY* life.

Ultimately in the end, the results are... just that - *MY* results, any no one elses.
I am the one that has to live with what's been put on the canvas!


The Universe's message to me today was presented to me today for a reason.
...and since there is a REASON for everything - this particular message today;
just had me realize (be reminded) that I need to "let go" and allow things to happen freely.

Again, *For Me* it's always about trying to control situations / outcomes; this is what *my* "letting go" and "allow things to happen" pieces is all about.

Message to myself: Stop it. You can't have the Universe work through you if you are trying to control everything. Take a breather, relax and reconnect - without this self-actualization you're just becoming part of the problem. Disconnect from this 'negativity' and reconnect with Source.

Again,

This is what I love about ART!
Art allows the 'inside' to be expressed 'outside'.
No matter if it's though Painting; Sketching; Photography; Singing; Writing; Collecting; ...doing whatever it is that allows you to get 'lost' in your world, your passion - this is ART!

Friendship and Your Health

Studies show that people with a strong support network – which is ultimately what good friends provide – are less prone to conditions such as depression and are in a better situation to fight back and recover from serious illness. 

Unfortunately, when we are juggling endless responsibilities and find ourselves in a crunch, time committed to friends is often the first thing we sacrifice. Next time you're tempted to cancel a friend, try to remember that the benefits of friendship go far beyond the welcome break they offer – cancel something else instead. 

Tips and Tools You Can Use

Given that friendships contribute to our sense of emotional wellbeing and overall good health, try to consider the time spent with friends as a priority. In other words, stop feeling guilty about the time you spend together and instead enjoy yourself with friends more often! Here are some great tips: 

How your health benefits

• Good friendships contribute to emotional well being, which makes us less susceptible to illness.
• People with a strong support network are less prone to clinical depression.
• Time spent with friends helps to relieve stress.
• It is easier to laugh when you are with friends – and laughter helps to release endorphins, which contribute to wellbeing.
• A strong support network can help to fight serious illness and speed recovery.

Setting healthy examples

• Spending time with healthy friends can increase your likelihood of staying healthy.
• It’s easier to eat healthy foods when your friends do.
• Your level of activity increases when you spend time with active friends.
• When you start a diet with a friend or join a fitness club together, you are more likely to stick with it.
• Healthy lifestyles are ‘catching’ – it’s easier to adopt healthy habits.
• If your friends consider regular medical check-ups part of life, you are more likely to include them in your life.

Providing support

• Focus on supportive friends who talk to you honestly and who are always there for you.
• Another person’s point of view can often help to clarify your own decisions about important issues.
• When you feel tense or upset before challenging or important events, chatting with a friend in person or on the phone can help to reduce stress levels.
• Never be afraid to ask for help in times of need – that’s what friends are for.
• Remember that friendship is reciprocal – be there for your friends as well.

Social benefits

• Socially adept friends can help build your own social skills.
• Friends introduce you to other friends who may become part of your support network or add to your career network.
• Socializing helps to stimulate us and keeps us feeling part of life.
• Even a five minute social chat on the phone can help you get through a bad day.

Helpful Resources

What makes a healthy friendship?
(http://www.loveandlearn.com/questions/q77/default.htm)
Making friends
(http://www.counseling.caltech.edu/html/MakingFriends.html)
Maintaining friendships
(http://www.cyberparent.com/friendship/maintain.htm)

For more information or to arrange an appointment for confidential counselling, contact FGIworld, your EAP/EFAP provider, (24 hours-a-day/7days-a-week) at: 1-800-268-5211 (English) 1-800-363-3872 (en français)

Pretty by Katie Makkai - Poetry Slam 2002

To my daughters and to all girls out there:

“Mom, will I be pretty? Will I be pretty?” I will wipe that question from your mouth like cheap lipstick and answer, “No! The word pretty is unworthy of everything you will be, and no child of mine will be contained in five letters.

The Priceless Truth - thank you Katie Makkai for being a VOICE and LIGHT shining Truth upon people living conformity (camouflaged in everyday influence). Thank you!

   
Katie Makkai, a veteran poetry slammer - defining the word "pretty".
National Poetry Slam 2002 [Team Denver, CO]

Transcript:

Pretty by Katie Makkai

When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother, “What will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be pretty? Will I be pretty? What comes next? Oh right, will I be rich?” Which is almost pretty depending on where you shop. And the pretty question infects from conception, passing blood and breath into cells. The word hangs from our mothers' hearts in a shrill fluorescent floodlight of worry.

“Will I be wanted? Worthy? Pretty?” But puberty left me this funhouse mirror dryad: teeth set at science fiction angles, crooked nose, face donkey-long and pox-marked where the hormones went finger-painting. My poor mother.

“How could this happen? You'll have porcelain skin as soon as we can see a dermatologist. You sucked your thumb. That's why your teeth look like that! You were hit in the face with a Frisbee when you were 6. Otherwise your nose would have been just fine!

“Don't worry. We'll get it fixed!” She would say, grasping my face, twisting it this way and that, as if it were a cabbage she might buy.

But this is not about her. Not her fault. She, too, was raised to believe the greatest asset she could bestow upon her awkward little girl was a marketable facade. By 16, I was pickled with ointments, medications, peroxides. Teeth corralled into steel prongs. Laying in a hospital bed, face packed with gauze, cushioning the brand new nose the surgeon had carved.

Belly gorged on 2 pints of my blood I had swallowed under anesthesia, and every convulsive twist of my gut like my body screaming at me from the inside out, “What did you let them do to you!”

All the while this never-ending chorus droning on and on, like the IV needle dripping liquid beauty into my blood. “Will I be pretty? Will I be pretty? Like my mother, unwrapping the gift wrap to reveal the bouquet of daughter her $10,000 bought her? Pretty? Pretty.”

And now, I have not seen my own face for 10 years. I have not seen my own face in 10 years, but this is not about me.

This is about the self-mutilating circus we have painted ourselves clowns in. About women who will prowl 30 stores in 6 malls to find the right cocktail dress, but haven't a clue where to find fulfillment or how wear joy, wandering through life shackled to a shopping bag, beneath those 2 pretty syllables.

About men wallowing on bar stools, drearily practicing attraction and everyone who will drift home tonight, crest-fallen because not enough strangers found you suitably fuckable.

This, this is about my own some-day daughter. When you approach me, already stung-stayed with insecurity, begging, “Mom, will I be pretty? Will I be pretty?” I will wipe that question from your mouth like cheap lipstick and answer, “No! The word pretty is unworthy of everything you will be, and no child of mine will be contained in five letters.

“You will be pretty intelligent, pretty creative, pretty amazing. But you, will never be merely 'pretty'.”

Boosting Your Positive Outlook: Tips & Tricks

The following information received from a Positive Outlook / Stress Management session I attended a few years ago. The presenter and the information was provided by: Shepell FGI


Stress is not an event that "happens to us". Our beliefs and perceptions of events are more important than the actual events in determining our level of stress.

When "Stress" occurs (EVENT) how do I typically react (INTERPRETATION)?
Do I react with a state of: Stress | Neutral | Positive 

When we're in the "Stress Whirlpool" the cycle typically looks like this:

Crooked Thinking Habits

Many of us fall into the trap of 'Crooked Thinking'. This term refers to patterns of thought that increase our negativity, fears or worry levels, and as a result elevate our stress levels as well. Such patterns end up altering our view of ourselves and of the world around us.

It is important to note that all Crooked Thinking involves some form of distortion. A number of these distortions seem to be very common and are shared by many in Western society. The good news is that distorted thinking is simply a bad habit. And like any bad habit, one can eliminate or minimize the habit to a point where it  no longer is a problem. The first step is to understand what Crooked Thinking  actually is and what common distortions are present in most cases.

Here are some common forms of thought distortions. You can find more on these and other common thoughts distortions in any book written by Dr. David D. Burns.

Personalization: When we hold ourselves responsible for things over which we have little or no influence, or which have only a minimal connection to us, we are participating in personalization. For example, if a colleague is in a grumpy mood, it would be rational to ask ourselves, "What's going on that he's in such a bad mood?".
However, if we engage in the habit of personalizing, we ask, "What did I do?".
Two useful tools to break out of the crooked thinking pattern of personalization are:
(1) asking ourselves, "Does this realistically have anything to do with me?", and
(2) reminding ourselves of Reinhold Niebuhr's Serenity Prayer:

Magnification or Minimization: This thinking habit occurs when the impact of an event, or our role in it is exaggerated. "Awfulizing" or "Catastrophizing" fall into this category. For example, if I'm having difficulty at work, but I tell myself that I am about to be fired, I am engaging in catastrophic thinking. To challenge this bad thinking habit, we need to ask ourselves, "What is an accurate, realistic description of my actions, or this event?" Talking about an event with others can be helpful, since they can often provide a third-party perspective to help us examine the situation rationally.

All-or-nothing thinking: This type of crooked thinking occurs when we think in absolute black or white terms, with no room for grays. I'm either perfect, or useless. Someone is either wonderful, or hopeless. The future is either heaven or hell. To move into a realistic framework, all-or-nothing thinkers need to look for middle ground where people and events are a mix of good and bad, positive and negative, helpful and unhelpful.

Mind Reading:  When we engage in mind reading, we assume that we know what others are thinking, or what they need or want - usually to our detriment. For instance, going to a party and thinking people are not talking to you because they know you've just gained five pounds is taking the "mind reading" distortion to an absurdity. When we are guilty of mind reading, we need to remember to gather data and information from other people not to assume that we know what they are thinking.

Discounting the Positives: This thinking error occurs when the negative aspects of an event are attended to and the positive aspects are ignored. The phrase, "Seeing the glass half empty" speaks to this particular thinking habit. To break this thinking habit, we need to see events in their entirety, not to focus only on the negative aspects.

"Should / Ought / Must" thinking: When we engage in should/ought/must thinking we habitually set perfectionistic or unrealistic standards for ourselves and others. Statements such as, "My children should be more obedient" or "My husband ought to be more thoughtful" suggest that the current status quo is inadequate, thereby creating stress. To break this habit, we need to become more accepting of "what is" and set standards that can be realistically met.

"Blame" thinking: Blaming others or oneself for events that have occurred, whether or not this assignment of blame is accurate, is a common thinking error. It is premised on the belief that if something has gone wrong, someone must be responsible for it. But this is not always the case, or accurate accountabilities may be complex and inter-related. To alter this thinking habit, we need to be willing to take the time to understand how events occurred, and not immediately point fingers at others.


Negative Thought Diamond

Thought Samplers:

• No one else seems to struggle the way I do.
• I just know we're destroying the ozone layer quicker than experts say, soon we'll have nothing left.
• Feeling like an outsider will always plague my life.
• My boss is making unreasonable demands.
• I'll never be able to get my life "together".
• No one loves me.
• The way things are today, kids don't have a future.
• The problem is so big, I won't be able to cope with it.
• She didn't really mean what she said, you can't trust anyone.
• No one ever helps me. They just don't care.
• I'm hopeless.

Steps for the "Daily Catch"

1. Recognize when you are participating in excessive negative thinking or experiencing excessive stress in your body.

2. Record the situation / events which triggered the negative thoughts or stress.

3. Record all Negative Thoughts that emerged (at least 4-6 thoughts).

4. Identify if these thoughts focus on self, other, future or the world.

5. For each Negative Thought, write down other, more reasonable response based on a clear, rational assessment of the facts (at least 3-4 responses for each negative thought).

Examples:

Triggering Event: My boss just called and asked about the progress of the last project he assigned.

Negative Thought: I should have had it done by now.
Focus of Negative Thought (Self, Others, World, Future): Self.
Reasonable Response: I have not done it by now, because there was no deadline on the project. | He told me other projects were priority right now. | I did complete significant pieces of it, so it'll be clear that I am dedicated and competent.

Negative Thought: He's so useless! He knows nothing at all about delegating!
Focus of Negative Thought (Self, Others, World, Future): Other
Reasonable Response: He asked about the "progress" - not if it's done.

Negative Thinking and Organizational Change: The Deadly Duo

Many of us experience "tough going" when we're surrounded by organizational change. A merger, a round of downsizing, changes in senior leadership - these all create enormous stress. Less extreme changes like getting a new IT system, or a new supervisor, count too! And most of us respond to these stressors by participating in negative thinking. When our means of earning a livelihood starts to shake, we react with fear. Thoughts such as "I'm going to loose my job", "I can't work with this new person" or "The end result of all these changes will be disaster" fill our minds and at times seem to swamp us.

So... if you're experiencing organizational change, take note! If a lot of people are impacted by the change, anticipate to see negativity in the work environment. But you don't have to be part of the problem. Use the Becoming Aware tool frequently to catch small negative thoughts as they pop up. Recognize the stress you're experiencing, and find ways to manage it that are more helpful than indulging in negative thinking. Maintain a proactive, flexible and patient attitude. Look for opportunities in the new changes. Be an exception to the rule, and react to workplace change positively. Decide to be part of the solution!

There's more than one way to...

When we get stuck in looking at an issue from only one perspective, our body reacts with by becoming stressed! Being able to see a situation from more than one perspective is a skill we can all develop to reduce our stress levels. In the book "Managing Your Mind", Butler and Hope offer the following list of questions to help us get better at seeing both the forest and the trees:

• What are the facts?
• Does my thinking fit the facts?
• Could I be making a mistake in how I'm thinking?
• Am I thinking straight?
• What other points of view are there?
• How would someone else (my partner, my boss, a friend...) think about this?
• What is the worst that can happen?
• What can I do if that worst case scenario happens?
• Who can help me with this situation?

And last but not least - probably the most important - the key to positive outlook and happiness is always GRATITUDE.

Keep a GRATITUDE journal always near by and ensure to update it daily!





Related Resources:

www.Mandalacoach.com

www.lifepositive.com

www.meditationsociety.com

 

Discover the Purpose-Driven Life with Oprah and Pastor Rick Warren

"The best use of your life is to invest it in [something that] will outlast it. And that's what it means to live a purpose-driven life." – Pastor Rick Warren

Here are some great resourceful tips and wonderful ah-ha moments from the Oprah Lifeclass:
Oprah and Pastor Rick Warren: The Purpose Driven Life

These videos are made possible through the wonderful works of Oprah's Lifeclass.

Pastor Rick Warren on the 5 Things That Shape You

Pastor Rick Warren says there are five things that "SHAPE" a person: Spiritual gifts, Heart, Ability, Personality and Experiences. Find out why he believes God never wastes a hurt. Then, Pastor Warren shares his definition of humility with the Oprah's Lifeclass audience in Houston.

Why Pastor Rick Warren Says Surviving Isn't Thriving

Pastor Rick Warren believes everyone lives at one of three levels in life: Survival, Success and Significance. Only when you reach the highest level—Significance—are you living your life with purpose. Watch as Pastor Warren explains how America is filled with people who are just getting by at the Survival level. Plus, why Pastor Warren says the "good life" isn't good enough.

Pastor Rick Warren: What Drives You?

The title of Pastor Rick Warren's best-selling book The Purpose Driven Life was no accident. Find out why he says everyone's life is driven by something—and why if you live for the approval of others, you will die by their rejection.

Learn more and view more videos here: Oprah and Pastor Rick Warren: The Purpose Driven Life

What are your thoughts in watching these clips, did you gain any ah-ha moments yourself?

------------------------------------------------------------------
Shortly after sharing the above post, I received a comment outside this post saying something along the line of:

Rick Warren is a "Christians are better than Muslims" , supporter of chic fil a's antigay hate mongering "traditionnal families" supporter. I dont think he's in any position to be listened to...but thats just my opinion.

Here is my feedback:

Thank you for questioning and commenting; I always love feedback and discussing various viewpoints! Yes there are various posts online claiming to having Rick Warren declare a bunch of stuff, whether they're true or not are none of my concerns.

What concerns me, what occupies my inner-connections, what speaks to me are the "ah-ha" moments I receive when listening to various people share their messages.

My grandmother shared with us some pretty amazing things and one of them was to always receive the message that is given to you when its the truth. You know its the truth when it speaks to you (your soul). You 'feel' the message. Everything else isn't for you and/or isn't really "your truth" for that moment.

Also when messages are being given these "messages" originate from somewhere... deep from within "you". Sometimes what comes out of our mouth is inspired from a place of greatness, we just feel those moments and allow them to consume us - those are moments of truth. You've accepted to being a vessel and allow whatever message that is felt, come out to be share with those around you. Other times when things randomly come out of our mouth where we end-up with that "taste awful"; these messages, too, come from a place deep-down within. These not-so-nice thoughts or things said are unresolved emotions: resentment, jealousy, judgement, whatever...Once we notice what we've said, that's when we get our 'ah-ha' moments, ourselves. (Sometimes we need to say them out loud so that we can realize that: 'wow did I just say that? Why would I think that way...?)

Everything we think, hear, and say are simply words - we put emotions and judgement on them based on how we 'decipher' (aka judge) the information. What we 'believe' to be wrong might not be to someone else, just as what we might 'believe' to be complete none-sense may turn out to be the next big thing!

Our life journey is a series of judgement calls (choices).

So going back to this Pastor's message... I got inspired by some of his messaging. And so will I reject what he said in-this-moment because of something that has past? If this message speaks to me, why shouldn't I choose to accept it and... move on?

Another story: I read a wonderful book called: "Excuse me your life is waiting" (http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/69947.Excuse_Me_Your_Life_Is_Waiting) I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE it! I LOVED it so much I've read it twice (so far).

Great message about life, about manifesting what you want, about changing your thoughts and changing your life.

After my first read of the book, I did a search online wanting to find out if she did conferences or even had other books or materials I could look into... blah-blah-blah long story short, she fell sick and I read online that she committed suicide (some say it was assisted). Whatever the case maybe - I was shocked! How could someone with such a great message and inspire so many, choose this path? Could I continue believe her 'story' or 'message'? I was thrown back for sometime...

This is when I picked-up the book again a few months later, and after reading it a second time - I just knew that the message it brings into the world is just that, "a message".

Messages of "truth" are meant for: the people, the world, the person in front of you, for yourself - these messages aren't necessarily from you, but for you. Sometimes we don't know we REALLY can do something unless we actually try to do it - that's when we find out that, "wow, I really can do this?!".

The same is said of messages - sometimes we don't know what lies deep-within us unless we allow it to come out, the good with the bad. These discoveries are where/how we uncover ourselves, and thus are presented with choices, self-questioning:
- Do I keep this belief?
- Where did I get that from? Do I really, truly believe that?
- Maybe this belief worked for me before, but does it work in my life now?
- Am I holding on to this belief for comfort? ...because of someone? ...why is this important to me?
- Why do I think that way, and could I maybe be missing out on a different viewpoint?
- Am I really allowing myself to see all angles or am I being narrow-minded; and why? What's stopping me from opening up? Am I afraid of something... and if I am, what is it?

The process of continued questioning is a great way to self-discovery.

When I hear (listen) to messages being shared 'not' everything gets registered in my mind - and if something strikes a cord with me, it doesn't necessarily mean it'll have the same impact on you. And even if we react to the same message, will its impact truly have the 'same meaning' for the both of us? Probably not, it could be similar - but it probably won't be 100% the-same.

Alright - I digress again... The pastor's message in this part of his life, on this day while he was with Oprah, living this "Lifeclass" ...this moment, I believe was a moment of truth.  What happened before and what happens after, is outside this moment, is outside this message.

On that note, I thank you again for your feedback! Your comment obviously struck a cord with me and unleashed a "message".  Thank you.

So now, I ask again -
What are your thoughts in watching these clips, did you gain any ah-ha moments yourself?

What's Your Style?

The more you learn and understand who you are, how you are - the better a-person you can be to yourself and to others. Understanding what motivates you; touches you; or even triggers fears or anxieties within can only make you a better person. Understanding and knowing your strengths and weaknesses is power.

I really can't recall where I got the following information, so if someone is to be sourced / referenced for the following please accept my apologies - and thank yous at the same time, great work!

To note when reading the following description, you might seem to connect with some or all of the following styles, however you'll probably note (deep-down inside) which of the following is pretty dominate in your life. Also, the primary style that is dominating you at this moment isn't necessarily going to be the style that sticks with you forever... some styles change with age, time, with situations, people... whatever the case maybe, what's important is to understand the 'role' that you take on during these encounters so that you can be aware of what your projecting. If you notice the 'style-mode' you're in and don't want to be in that 'mode' - awareness is key! You can't identify what's happening unless you know it's happening - and that's when you can make choices!

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WHAT'S YOUR STYLE?


AMIABLE (intuitor)

Likes: Appreciation, consistent, cooperative, credit, family, gradual change, harmony, loyalty, security, team player.

Fears: Loss of security.

DO:
Advise of changes well in advance.
Ask about family.
Assure them you appreciate their loyalty.
Stress teamwork.

ANALYTICAL (thinker)

Likes: Authority, caution, critical thinking, details, discipline, orderly, proof, research,serious, standard, precedures.

Fears: Criticism of work.

DO:
Give great amounts of Information.
Give brichures and fact sheets.
Give time to make decisions.

DRIVER (sensor)

Likes: Authority, boldness, challenge, risk, change, direct answers, dominating, difficult assignments, efficient, new and varied activities, power.

Fears: Being taken advantage of.

DO:
Give Bottom line quickly.
Keep informed.
Less chit-chat.
Schedule definite appointments.

EXPRESSIVE (feeler)

Likes: To verbalize, freedom from control and details, popularity people and opinions, status, motivation, recognition, enthusiasm.

Fears: Loss of social acceptance.

DO:
Appeal to status.
Invite to social functions.
Take time to chit chat.
Inform about what is new and improved.

KNOWING YOUR OWN STYLE ALLOWS YOU TO...
PROVIDE THE MOST EFFECTIVE CUSTOMER SERVICE

Keirsey Temperament Quiz

Ever wonder why people don't think the same way you do?
And why wouldn't they... especially if we come from the same environment, same background, same everything...

Our minds are "programmed" differently and hence why we have such a creative world filled with beautiful things! ...otherwise, if we actually did think, be and do everything alike; the world would simply be a Sames Ville.

Let's take another quiz together, this time - let's explore the Keirsey Temperament Sorter experience:

"Established in 1996 by Dr. David M. Keirsey, Keirsey.com emerged onto the world wide web to provide access for individuals to take the Keirsey Temperament Sorter (KTS-II), and gain a better understanding of themselves and others. Keirsey Temperament Theory™ was first written about in the international best seller, Please Understand Me®, (1978) and was followed by its successor, Please Understand Me II, (1998)."


http://www.keirsey.com/

We can learn a little more about the Keirsey Temperament Sorter (KTS-II) here:

http://www.keirsey.com/aboutkts2.aspx

And so after completing my Keirsey Temperament quiz, it states that I fall into the IDEALIST category.

Upon completing my quiz, I also was presented with a brief description of my IDEALIST type and was also offered to purchase various more in-dept interpretation of my temperament and type - reports:

- Classic Temperament Report

- Career Temperament Report

- Learning Styles Temperament Report

- Temperament Discovery Report

What is Your Archetype? - Quiz

In reading the book

Hero Within - Rev. & Expanded Ed.: Six Archetypes We Live By, by Carol Pearson
http://books.google.ca/books/about/Hero_Within_Rev_Expanded_Ed.html?id=dQAeXCHjU-4C&redir_esc=y

Via this link you can get a sense of the book:
http://archive.org/stream/herowithin002330mbp/herowithin002330mbp_djvu.txt

I started to wonder - what is my archetype? I can relate to several of the archetypes listed in the book's descriptions however I wanted to discover what my prominant archetype was; and so I looked for a "quiz" / "test" online...

This link will prompt you to OPEN or SAVE --> it's a Microsoft Word document:

http://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=web&cd=3&ved=0CFAQFjAC&url=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.babycathy07.multiply.multiplycontent.com%2Fattachment%2F0%2FRvZDLQoKCtcAAEkf-001%2Farchetypes%2520test-1.doc%3Fnmid%3D59045841&ei=AqQGUZXLGYzDyQG4y4HIBA&usg=AFQjCNFjqwRw9eB79jNpRs2nfAk17cOBrQ&sig2=Cq-wKzn8BJaCkZGWEzDQDg&bvm=bv.41524429,d.aWc&cad=rja

Below is a Copy/Paste from the above link:

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SELF-TEST (adapted from “Hero Within: 6 Archetypes We Live By” by Carol Pearson)


Discover the dominant archetypes in your life!

Score: 0-never; 1-seldom; 2-sometimes; 3-frequently; 4-always. Total your scores in each category and know which archetype is very active in your life.

1._____It is very important to be careful. Other people will cheat you when they can.

2._____I find that when I change my attitudes my environment changes.

3._____Most important to me right now are identity issues. I’m not sure who I am.

4._____I push hard to prove myself and to succeed.

5._____The world is good and I am safe and cared for.

6._____I feel alone, but it gives me satisfaction to see that I can make it on my own.

7._____The most important thing is loving.

8._____I often feel disappointed in or betrayed by other people.

9._____All seeming problems really are illusions. I can assert God’s love/the perfection of the universe and once again see that all is well.

10.____I am very competitive and really enjoying winning.

11.____Times have been rough, but I’ve learned to cope.

12.____I find out about my own shadow self by what upsets me in others.

13.____I use drugs/alcohol to get high and feel better. (or I use shopping, work, or frantic activity to divert myself from problems).

14.____I expect people I meet to be trustworthy.

15.____When challenged, I stand up for myself and, if necessary, fight to defend myself.

16.____I’m in a new job/doing my job differently/undertaking a new course of study.

17.____I expect to be loved and cared for.

18.____I struggle hard for the causes/ideas/values I believe in and against those that are wrong and harmful.

19.____I frequently give people more than I get back.

20.____What I really want is someone to take care of me, but there is no one who will/can really care for me.

21.____When I am betrayed or unjustly treated, it reminds me to take pains to be fair to others.

22.____I love to travel/study/experiment because I find I learn about myself and the world when I do.

23.____I see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

24.____I feel most myself when I’m creating something new.

25.____I want my life to make a difference, to make a mark on my world.

26.____When I stay calm and centered, others seem quieted too.

27.____If others could just see the light, they could have as wonderful life as I do.

28.____Since I’ve changed, my world has changed radically. Years ago, I would not have imagined things would turn out so well.

29.____I think I’m justified in feeling superior to other people: I’m smarter, or better educated, or stronger, or more disciplined, or hardworking, or have better values, or because of my sex, my racial or ethnic heritage, my class, my accomplishments, my belief.

30.____Tragedies (accidents/illnesses) often happen to me and to those around me.

31.____I work hard but do not expect to be rewarded or appreciated adequately for what I do.

32.____If I could only win the jackpot, all the problems will be solved.

33.____I feel good about myself and grateful for my life.

34.____I would like to be more appreciated by others.

35.____I’ll do whatever life requires of me. I want to make whatever contribution I can.

36.____I sometimes avoid or sabotage intimacy with others in rder to maintain freedom.


Innocent        Orphan         Wanderer          Warrior

#5___             #1___               #3___                 #4___

9___                 8___                6___                  10___

14___               13___             11___               15___

17___               20___              16___                18___

23___               30___               22___              25___

27___               32___               36___               29___

total___            total___              total___           total___


Martyr            Magician

#7___               #2___

19___                12___

21___                 24___

31___                 26___

34___                 28___

35___                 33___

total___              total___

6 Hero Archetypes

*The Innocent is not included on the chart because it is not heroic archetype. When we live in paradise, there is no need for goals, fears, tasks, works, etc. The innocent is both pre and post-heroic.


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And so after taking the above quiz, according to this author - my score was:

22 - Innocent
12 - Orphan
18 - Wanderer
18 - Warrior
14 - Martyr
23 - Magician

What were your scores and do you tend to agree with the Archetype outcomes associated to you?