2/05/2011

Who You Gonna BE?

Barbara McAfee (from the CD While You're Alive)
Who you gonna BE while you do what you do
How you gonna show up while you’re passing though
I’m living in this question… You can too
Who you gonna BE while you do what you do

You can do all of the right things and still be a jerk
And a really bad temper can wreck a lot of fine work
There’s no sense of direction when you’re going berserk

Who you gonna BE while you do what you do
How you gonna show up while you’re passing though
I’m living in this question… You can too
Who you gonna BE while you do what you do

You can sit up in a corner and criticize
And try to cut people down to manageable size
When an idea hits the table
You can roll your eyes

Who you gonna BE while you do what you do
How you gonna show up while you’re passing though
I’m living in this question… You can too
Who you gonna BE while you do what you do

Now you can argue all night ‘bout the ends and the means
But if you don’t like who you are don’t mean a hill of beans
And at the end of the day, when your conscience convenes
Could be an ugly scene

You may not remember what you do or say
But people will remember how they felt along the way
You can leave a trail of blessing starting today

People could be glad to see you comin’ through that door
And when you’re running out of patience
You might find a little more
And you could be the hero you’ve been waiting for

So who you gonna BE while you do what you do
How you gonna show up while you’re passing through
I’m living in this question… You can too
Who you gonna BE while you do what ya
Who you gonna BE while you do what ya
Who you gonna BE while you do what you do!!!!!!!

2/01/2011

Fear of Success: Are you blocking yourself from success?

In the Blog post below Steve Pavlina provides his input/views on how fear can prevent you from becoming successful.

Fear of Success: What will happen if you succeed?

December 4th, 2004 by Steve Pavlina

Sometimes you find yourself with a goal you think you should want to achieve, but you just don’t seem to be taking enough action to reach it. You aren’t really afraid of failure or rejection, the path to the goal seems clear enough and might even be an interesting challenge, and occasionally you’ll make some progress. But most of the time you can’t seem to get into that flow state, and you’re not sure why. This often happens with long-term goals that require intermittent action, like losing weight or transitioning to start a new business and eventually quit your job.

One question I’ve found helpful to ask in these situations is this: What will happen if you succeed? Forget about what you hope will happen or what you fear might happen, but realistically consider what probably will happen. So you achieve your goal. Then what? What else will change?

I’m not talking about giving a 5-second cursory answer, like “If I lose the weight, then I’ll be thin.” Set aside at least 15-30 minutes just to think about how your life will really change once you achieve your goal (with no TV, radio, or other distractions). There are often unexpected side effects that you may not be aware of consciously, but subconsciously they can be enough to prevent you from taking committed action. For example, if you lose a lot of weight, here are some possible side effects: people will notice and will comment about it, other people will ask you for diet advice, you may feel you need to continue with a permanent lifestyle change to maintain your new weight, you may need to buy new clothes, you may become more attractive to others and thereby attract more social encounters (wanted or unwanted), overweight friends might become jealous, your family may resist your changes, you may feel stressed about whether you can keep the weight off, you may worry about the loss of certain favorite foods from your diet, and so on.

It’s rare that a goal is all roses. Success requires change, and change has both positive and negative consequences. Often while people claim to want to succeed at something, the reality is that the negatives outweigh the positives for them. But one way to overcome this problem is to consciously think about what those negatives are, and then uproot them one by one. Uprooting a negative side effect could mean figuring out how to eliminate it completely, or it could mean just accepting it and learning to live with it.

It’s certainly helpful to focus on the positive side of a goal. But don’t forget to take an occasional survey of the dark side and accept that you’re going to have to deal with that too.

Unlike fear of failure and fear of rejection, fear of success can be far more insidious because it’s almost always unconscious. But it’s not fear of success itself that is the problem but rather fear of the side effects of success, many of which may be genuinely unwanted. Fears that are never evaluated consciously have a tendency to grow stronger. The reason is simple behavioral conditioning — when you avoid something you fear (either consciously or subconsciously), you automatically reinforce the avoidance behavior. So when you (even unknowingly) avoid working on your goal because of a hidden fear of success, you actually reinforce the habit of procrastination, so as time goes by, it becomes harder and harder to get yourself to take action. Insidious!

Asking, “What will happen if I succeed?” can solve this problem because it focuses your conscious attention on those fears. Fear has a tendency to shrink under direct examination, making it easier for you to take action. When I say that fear shrinks, another way of stating this is that subconscious behavioral conditioning weakens under conscious scrutiny. I know some people dislike the word “fear” with respect to their own behavior — don’t get hung up on the exact wording; call it “avoidance behavior” if that’s more to your liking.

But an additional benefit is that you can also devise intelligent work-arounds for those fears-made-conscious, some of which may indeed be valid signals of unsolved problems. For example, going back to the weight loss example, if you lose a lot of weight, you probably will need new clothes. And if you don’t have the money to buy new clothes, then that is a real problem you’ll need to address (unless you don’t mind wearing oversized outfits). Left unacknowledged, even a simple problem like this can be enough to subconsciously sabotage you from achieving your goal. But once you examine the situation consciously and figure out a way to deal with it in advance, you’re sending a message to your subconscious that you needn’t fear this problem because you have a practical way to solve it.

Now let’s consider the opposite side. Suppose you ask, “What will happen if I succeed?” and upon considering all the side effects, you realize that you don’t actually want to achieve the goal at all. The negatives outweigh the positives. I encountered this when I made a plan to grow my games business but didn’t seem to make as much progress as I wanted. When I asked this magic question, I realized that I didn’t really want to achieve the goal with all its side effects — what I really wanted was to transition to writing and speaking full time, and further building my games business would actually take me farther from that more important goal. Growing my games business seemed like a goal I should want, but when I really thought about where I’d be if I achieved that goal, I realized it wouldn’t be the success I truly wanted. That was a difficult realization for me… to recognize that my original ladder of success was now leaning against the wrong building. So I actually had to “unset” that goal once I really understood the likely consequences of achieving it.

Even now as I set goals in the direction of writing and speaking as my new career, I recognize that there are big side effects. I simply don’t have the mental bandwidth for two full-time careers. One of the hardest side effects for me was letting go of the goals and dreams I had for my games business. All those creative ideas for new games that will never be… and the would-be players who will never experience them…. But this is outweighed by what will happen as I succeed in my new career. To create a new game that challenges, entertains, and uplifts people is wonderful; however, being able to help people grow fulfills me even more. I found it a very enlightening process to review all these side effects and one by one to acknowledge that I accept them.

What will happen if you succeed? If you lose the weight… get the date… earn the promotion… start the business… get pregnant… quit smoking… become a millionaire… stretch yourself?

1/30/2011

Are you working for money or is money working for you?

Below was my first exposure to Steve Pavlina's wonderful work.

Steve Pavlina is widely recognized as one of the most successful personal development bloggers on the Internet, attracting more than two million monthly readers to his website, StevePavlina.com. He has written more than 1000 articles and recorded many audio programs on a broad range of self-help topics, including productivity, relationships, and spirituality. Steve has been quoted as an expert by the New York Times, USA Today, U.S. News & World Report, the Los Angeles Daily News, Self Magazine, and The Guardian. He is also a frequent guest on radio and Internet radio shows.

Since then (I probably read this mid 2009) I've been captivated by his twists and approaches in breaking human habits and taking life by the bull horns and enjoy the ride. Learning from Steve's blogs [and of course I bought his book Personal Development for Smart People], Steve's take on life broaden my perspective to new heights - who's knows what we're actually capable of doing vs. limiting ourselves in doing!?

I will be sharing quite a few of Steve's blog post, the ones that I can relate to - since some of his topics venture off into "Steve Land" where some of his focuses or discussions aren't necessarily ones that I relate to; which is fine since he is Steve and I am Tammy - and I'm ok with that! :-)

Happy Reading!

Tammy

--------------------------------------------------

10 Reasons You Should Never Get a Job

July 21st, 2006 by Steve Pavlina  

Just for fun I recently asked Erin, “Now that the kids are in summer school, don’t you think it’s about time you went out and got yourself a job?  I hate seeing you wallow in unemployment for so long.”

She smiled and said, “Wow.  I have been unemployed a really long time.  That’s weird…  I like it!”

Neither of us have had jobs since the ’90s (my only job was in 1992), so we’ve been self-employed for quite a while.  In our household it’s a running joke for one of us to say to the other, “Maybe you should get a job, derelict!”

It’s like the scene in The Three Stooges where Moe tells Curly to get a job, and Curly backs away, saying, “No, please… not that!  Anything but that!”

It’s funny that when people reach a certain age, such as after graduating college, they assume it’s time to go out and get a job.  But like many things the masses do, just because everyone does it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.  In fact, if you’re reasonably intelligent, getting a job is one of the worst things you can do to support yourself.  There are far better ways to make a living than selling yourself into indentured servitude.

Here are some reasons you should do everything in your power to avoid getting a job:

1. Income for dummies.

Getting a job and trading your time for money may seem like a good idea.  There’s only one problem with it.  It’s stupid!  It’s the stupidest way you can possibly generate income!  This is truly income for dummies.

Why is getting a job so dumb?  Because you only get paid when you’re working.  Don’t you see a problem with that, or have you been so thoroughly brainwashed into thinking it’s reasonable and intelligent to only earn income when you’re working?  Have you never considered that it might be better to be paid even when you’re not working?  Who taught you that you could only earn income while working?  Some other brainwashed employee perhaps?

Don’t you think your life would be much easier if you got paid while you were eating, sleeping, and playing with the kids too?  Why not get paid 24/7?  Get paid whether you work or not.  Don’t your plants grow even when you aren’t tending to them?  Why not your bank account?

Who cares how many hours you work?  Only a handful of people on this entire planet care how much time you spend at the office.  Most of us won’t even notice whether you work 6 hours a week or 60.  But if you have something of value to provide that matters to us, a number of us will be happy to pull out our wallets and pay you for it.  We don’t care about your time — we only care enough to pay for the value we receive.  Do you really care how long it took me to write this article?  Would you pay me twice as much if it took me 6 hours vs. only 3?

Non-dummies often start out on the traditional income for dummies path.  So don’t feel bad if you’re just now realizing you’ve been suckered.  Non-dummies eventually realize that trading time for money is indeed extremely dumb and that there must be a better way.  And of course there is a better way.  The key is to de-couple your value from your time.

Smart people build systems that generate income 24/7, especially passive income.  This can include starting a business, building a web site, becoming an investor, or generating royalty income from creative work.  The system delivers the ongoing value to people and generates income from it, and once it’s in motion, it runs continuously whether you tend to it or not.  From that moment on, the bulk of your time can be invested in increasing your income (by refining your system or spawning new ones) instead of merely maintaining your income.

This web site is an example of such a system.  At the time of this writing, it generates about $9000 a month in income for me (update: $40,000 a month as of 10/31/06), and it isn’t my only income stream either.  I write each article just once (fixed time investment), and people can extract value from them year after year.  The web server delivers the value, and other systems (most of which I didn’t even build and don’t even understand) collect income and deposit it automatically into my bank account.  It’s not perfectly passive, but I love writing and would do it for free anyway.  But of course it cost me a lot of money to launch this business, right?  Um, yeah, $9 is an awful lot these days (to register the domain name).  Everything after that was profit.

Sure it takes some upfront time and effort to design and implement your own income-generating systems.  But you don’t have to reinvent the wheel — feel free to use existing systems like ad networks and affiliate programs.  Once you get going, you won’t have to work so many hours to support yourself.  Wouldn’t it be nice to be out having dinner with your spouse, knowing that while you’re eating, you’re earning money?  If you want to keep working long hours because you enjoy it, go right ahead.  If you want to sit around doing nothing, feel free.  As long as your system continues delivering value to others, you’ll keep getting paid whether you’re working or not.

Your local bookstore is filled with books containing workable systems others have already designed, tested, and debugged.  Nobody is born knowing how to start a business or generate investment income, but you can easily learn it.  How long it takes you to figure it out is irrelevant because the time is going to pass anyway.  You might as well emerge at some future point as the owner of income-generating systems as opposed to a lifelong wage slave.  This isn’t all or nothing.  If your system only generates a few hundred dollars a month, that’s a significant step in the right direction.

2. Limited experience.

You might think it’s important to get a job to gain experience.  But that’s like saying you should play golf to get experience playing golf.  You gain experience from living, regardless of whether you have a job or not.  A job only gives you experience at that job, but you gain ”experience” doing just about anything, so that’s no real benefit at all.  Sit around doing nothing for a couple years, and you can call yourself an experienced meditator, philosopher, or politician.

The problem with getting experience from a job is that you usually just repeat the same limited experience over and over.  You learn a lot in the beginning and then stagnate.  This forces you to miss other experiences that would be much more valuable.  And if your limited skill set ever becomes obsolete, then your experience won’t be worth squat.  In fact, ask yourself what the experience you’re gaining right now will be worth in 20-30 years.  Will your job even exist then?

Consider this.  Which experience would you rather gain?  The knowledge of how to do a specific job really well — one that you can only monetize by trading your time for money – or the knowledge of how to enjoy financial abundance for the rest of your life without ever needing a job again?  Now I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have the latter experience.  That seems a lot more useful in the real world, wouldn’t you say?

3. Lifelong domestication.

Getting a job is like enrolling in a human domestication program.  You learn how to be a good pet.

Look around you.  Really look.  What do you see?  Are these the surroundings of a free human being?  Or are you living in a cage for unconscious animals?  Have you fallen in love with the color beige?

How’s your obedience training coming along?  Does your master reward your good behavior?  Do you get disciplined if you fail to obey your master’s commands?

Is there any spark of free will left inside you?  Or has your conditioning made you a pet for life?

Humans are not meant to be raised in cages.  You poor thing…

4. Too many mouths to feed.

Employee income is the most heavily taxed there is.  In the USA you can expect that about half your salary will go to taxes.  The tax system is designed to disguise how much you’re really giving up because some of those taxes are paid by your employer, and some are deducted from your paycheck.  But you can bet that from your employer’s perspective, all of those taxes are considered part of your pay, as well as any other compensation you receive such as benefits.  Even the rent for the office space you consume is considered, so you must generate that much more value to cover it.  You might feel supported by your corporate environment, but keep in mind that you’re the one paying for it.

Another chunk of your income goes to owners and investors.  That’s a lot of mouths to feed.
It isn’t hard to understand why employees pay the most in taxes relative to their income.  After all, who has more control over the tax system?  Business owners and investors or employees?

You only get paid a fraction of the real value you generate.  Your real salary may be more than triple what you’re paid, but most of that money you’ll never see.  It goes straight into other people’s pockets.

What a generous person you are!

5. Way too risky.

Many employees believe getting a job is the safest and most secure way to support themselves.

Morons.

Social conditioning is amazing.  It’s so good it can even make people believe the exact opposite of the truth.

Does putting yourself in a position where someone else can turn off all your income just by saying two words (“You’re fired”) sound like a safe and secure situation to you?  Does having only one income stream honestly sound more secure than having 10?

The idea that a job is the most secure way to generate income is just silly.  You can’t have security if you don’t have control, and employees have the least control of anyone.  If you’re an employee, then your real job title should be professional gambler.

6. Having an evil bovine master.

When you run into an idiot in the entrepreneurial world, you can turn around and head the other way.  When you run into an idiot in the corporate world, you have to turn around and say, “Sorry, boss.”

Did you know that the word boss comes from the Dutch word baas, which historically means master?
Another meaning of the word boss is “a cow or bovine.”  And in many video games, the boss is the evil dude that you have to kill at the end of a level.

So if your boss is really your evil bovine master, then what does that make you?  Nothing but a turd in the herd.

Who’s your daddy?

7. Begging for money.

When you want to increase your income, do you have to sit up and beg your master for more money?  Does it feel good to be thrown some extra Scooby Snacks now and then?

Or are you free to decide how much you get paid without needing anyone’s permission but your own?

If you have a business and one customer says “no” to you, you simply say “next.”

8. An inbred social life.

Many people treat their jobs as their primary social outlet.  They hang out with the same people working in the same field.  Such incestuous relations are social dead ends.  An exciting day includes deep conversations about the company’s switch from Sparkletts to Arrowhead, the delay of Microsoft’s latest operating system, and the unexpected delivery of more Bic pens.  Consider what it would be like to go outside and talk to strangers.  Ooooh… scary!  Better stay inside where it’s safe.

If one of your co-slaves gets sold to another master, do you lose a friend?  If you work in a male-dominated field, does that mean you never get to talk to women above the rank of receptionist?  Why not decide for yourself whom to socialize with instead of letting your master decide for you?  Believe it or not, there are locations on this planet where free people congregate.  Just be wary of those jobless folk — they’re a crazy bunch!

9. Loss of freedom.

It takes a lot of effort to tame a human being into an employee.  The first thing you have to do is break the human’s independent will.  A good way to do this is to give them a weighty policy manual filled with nonsensical rules and regulations.  This leads the new employee to become more obedient, fearing that s/he could be disciplined at any minute for something incomprehensible.  Thus, the employee will likely conclude it’s safest to simply obey the master’s commands without question.  Stir in some office politics for good measure, and we’ve got a freshly minted mind slave.

As part of their obedience training, employees must be taught how to dress, talk, move, and so on.  We can’t very well have employees thinking for themselves, now can we?  That would ruin everything.

God forbid you should put a plant on your desk when it’s against the company policy.  Oh no, it’s the end of the world!  Cindy has a plant on her desk!  Summon the enforcers!  Send Cindy back for another round of sterility training!

Free human beings think such rules and regulations are silly of course.  The only policy they need is:  “Be smart.  Be nice.  Do what you love.  Have fun.”

10. Becoming a coward.

Have you noticed that employed people have an almost endless capacity to whine about problems at their companies?  But they don’t really want solutions – they just want to vent and make excuses why it’s all someone else’s fault.  It’s as if getting a job somehow drains all the free will out of people and turns them into spineless cowards.  If you can’t call your boss a jerk now and then without fear of getting fired, you’re no longer free.  You’ve become your master’s property.

When you work around cowards all day long, don’t you think it’s going to rub off on you?  Of course it will.  It’s only a matter of time before you sacrifice the noblest parts of your humanity on the altar of fear:  first courage… then honesty… then honor and integrity… and finally your independent will.  You sold your humanity for nothing but an illusion.  And now your greatest fear is discovering the truth of what you’ve become.

I don’t care how badly you’ve been beaten down.  It is never too late to regain your courage.  Never!

Still want a job?

If you’re currently a well-conditioned, well-behaved employee, your most likely reaction to the above will be defensiveness.  It’s all part of the conditioning.  But consider that if the above didn’t have a grain of truth to it, you wouldn’t have an emotional reaction at all.  This is only a reminder of what you already know.  You can deny your cage all you want, but the cage is still there.  Perhaps this all happened so gradually that you never noticed it until now… like a lobster enjoying a nice warm bath.
If any of this makes you mad, that’s a step in the right direction.  Anger is a higher level of consciousness than apathy, so it’s a lot better than being numb all the time.  Any emotion — even confusion — is better than apathy.  If you work through your feelings instead of repressing them, you’ll soon emerge on the doorstep of courage.  And when that happens, you’ll have the will to actually do something about your situation and start living like the powerful human being you were meant to be instead of the domesticated pet you’ve been trained to be.

Happily jobless

What’s the alternative to getting a job?  The alternative is to remain happily jobless for life and to generate income through other means.  Realize that you earn income by providing value — not time – so find a way to provide your best value to others, and charge a fair price for it.  One of the simplest and most accessible ways is to start your own business.  Whatever work you’d otherwise do via employment, find a way to provide that same value directly to those who will benefit most from it.  It takes a bit more time to get going, but your freedom is easily worth the initial investment of time and energy.  Then you can buy your own Scooby Snacks for a change.

And of course everything you learn along the way, you can share with others to generate even more value.  So even your mistakes can be monetized.

Here are some free resources to help you get started:
One of the greatest fears you’ll confront is that you may not have any real value to offer others.  Maybe being an employee and getting paid by the hour is the best you can do.  Maybe you just aren’t worth that much.  That line of thinking is all just part of your conditioning.  It’s absolute nonsense.  As you begin to dump such brainwashing, you’ll soon recognize that you have the ability to provide enormous value to others and that people will gladly pay you for it.  There’s only one thing that prevents you from seeing this truth — fear.
All you really need is the courage to be yourself.  Your real value is rooted in who you are, not what you do.  The only thing you need actually do is express your real self to the world.  You’ve been told all sort of lies as to why you can’t do that.  But you’ll never know true happiness and fulfillment until you summon the courage to do it anyway.

The next time someone says to you, “Get a job,” I suggest you reply as Curly did:  ”No, please… not that!  Anything but that!”  Then poke him right in the eyes.
You already know deep down that getting a job isn’t what you want.  So don’t let anyone try to tell you otherwise.  Learn to trust your inner wisdom, even if the whole world says you’re wrong and foolish for doing so.  Years from now you’ll look back and realize it was one of the best decisions you ever made.

Final thoughts

While I wouldn’t recommend starting an online business for everyone, for many people it’s one of the best ways to generate income without a job. It has certainly worked disgustingly well for me. If you’re interested in learning more about this option, please check out Build Your Own Successful Online Business for details.

Link to original Blog post: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/07/10-reasons-you-should-never-get-a-job/

1/24/2011

Achieve Your Dream, A to Z (author unknown)

A-void negative sources, people, things and habits.
B-elieve in yourself.
C-onsider things from every angle.
D-on't give up and don't give in.
E-njoy life today: yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come.
F-amily and Friends are hiddgen treasures. Seek them and enjoy their riches.
G-ive more than you planned to give.
H-ang on to your dreams.
I-gnore those who try to discourage you.
J-ust do it!
K-eep on trying, no matter how hard it seems. It will get better.
L-ove yourself first and foremost.
M-ake it happen.
N-ever lie, cheat, or steal. Always strike a fair deal.
O-pen your eyes and see things as they really are.
P-ractice makes perfect.
Q-uitters never win and winners never quit.
R-ead, study and learn about everything important in your life.
S-top procrastinating.
T-ake control of your own destiny.
U-nderstand yourself in order to better understand others.
V-isualize it.
W-ant it more than anything.
X-ccelerate your efforts.
Y-ou are unique of all of Nature's creations. Nothing can replace you.
Z-ero in on your target, and go for it!!

12/21/2010

The Dangeous World... of the Unknown

So what's up with all this "New Age" stuff and why are Christians fearing it so much?

A while back I had a highly-religiously-focused friend send me something along the lines of:

"Subject: The World's "Most Dangerous" Spiritual Guru: Oprah Begins 10-Week Online New Age Class

Article link: http://www.lifesitenews.com/news/archive/ldn/2008/mar/08030701

I sent you this article that describes the dangers of New Age and its teachings and how Oprah Winfrey is promoting it on her show. In particular, read the section where she talks about the movie, "The Secret". I knew you were interested in this movie/book and just wanted to put you on garde as to its dangers for your spirit / soul. Please watch out for these types of influences."

My reply back was along these lines...

I just read the article noted (http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2008/mar/08030701.html) and have the the following to say:

I disagree with your comments and here's why (...remember this is simply my feedback no bad feelings intended):

I've purchased the DVD "The Secret" and enjoyed its concept. Obviously there are a few things that meh? I couldn't be bothered with, but overall the concept is fairly straight forward and accepted (by me). "The Secret" as many other books, movies, religions, whatever all teach us one thing:  

Ask and you Shall receive.  

Whether your link to this 'way-of-being' is adapted from the Bible, from "The Secret", from the "Law of Attraction", from wherever... whatever.. bottom line - we're all talking about the same thing, just in different "languages". 

God, Jesus, Christ, Buddha, Karma - whatever you want to call that "Source" that "Energy" - we all know it's there and it's good.

The struggle (internally) is always about either proving it there or proving it's not there.
Either way - it's being acknowledged somehow: Acceptance or Denial.

I do believe and I do believe that believing is important.

First things first, you need to learn to accept yourself and love yourself - then everything else falls in to play. You are a part of "God". He created you, from himself. If you don't love yourself, then...I guess you don't love him.

"God" (or whatever you call it) always "gives" you want you want, when you love yourself enough to accept it - because you're already a part of him. So the debate is with yourself and from this debate you either ACCEPT or REJECT 'Him'. And with that being said, when things come your way you either ACCEPT or REJECT them consciously or unconsciously.

And then there's the Ego... who sits there patiently EXPECTING.
...so there's a difference between EXPECT and ACCEPT.

Religion is simply a "road", a "path", a "map" to go somewhere - choosing whatever / however you want (as your journey) is a choice and you shouldn't be condemned because of it.
...but somehow isn't this what religion teaches you? ...condemnation and they (Religion Rules) are you're only way to Salvation. Kind-of sounds like the structured dominance rule of "Our (My) Way or the Hwy-Way"...

Ha! So "they" Religion want me to think that if I do anything bad; like: don't go to church to ask for forgiviness, then God will condemn me? He'll throw me to the devil, the evil Gods, and leave me there to burn for eternity? ...And this is the God they expect me to worship?

I think not.

I know that God has shared himself into us (within our minds, within our soul) so that we can experience and learn... and ultimately in the end, choose: love.
That's the whole "Secret" and his whole plan... to eventually learn to "love unconditionally".

Love without discrimination.
Love without guilt.
Love without pressure.
Love without shame.
Love without judgment.
Love without anything else but just love.

There are people out there who are already "conditioned" by Religion, by Media, by the "world" -
they're the ones who's thoughts are "boxed-in" by ways of whatever since they are conditioned to believe that choosing without influence or guidance is wrong.
Geez... I don't know what to do, my husband beats me everyday but the Church tells me to love him and forgive him?
Hum... ok I guess living in Hell right now for my entire life is ok since when I die I'm guaranteed to go to Heaven, right?

...guess what? The Church changes it's rules and guidelines every-so often too...
Hum...? So what does this mean?
It means that the "Church" is ran by humans. Humans making choices for all of their followers.
Sounds like a government to me, or even a mafia! <--- Ha! Ha! Not to be taken too seriously...!!

Governments are bodies of people who make choices for people and these governing bodies tell their people that choices aren't theirs to be made. You can have a say and if I like then fine, otherwise you have to "Do things MY (our) WAY or the Hwy-way!" ...and so if they don't listen they get charged or go to jail...

So maybe I am the one who's converted, maybe I'm the New Age rebellious junky, and maybe I will burn in Hell for eternity. ...and then maybe not... I'm not here to try to convert anyone or change anyone's mind about anything - I'm just here to share my thoughts, my leanings, my beliefs.

If someone wishes to discuss this then BONUS, I would love to discuss -
But what I do believe (for me) is that "God" loves me just as much as he loves a terrorist.
How we choose to accept that love and how we use that love is OUR human choice.

The "Church" doesn't allow me to love thy brother (the terrorist) or the gay man working at the Subway...
...oh sorry - I can love them but I have to pray for them cause they are "wrong"... hum? Sounds discriminating don't you think?
Maybe this "rule" was initially created by some old-school minded Humans?

Nah? I'll take my chances and choose to love and pray my own way - cause I'm sure (since these are my beliefs) my way can't be all that bad.
I do believe in some Religious blessings, in Community Love (Gatherings) and some Celebrations - but Rules are simply a way to "Control" people.
Just like jails are.

Look up the word "control" in the dictionary:
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/control

If you want truth, shut-off the TV, turn-off the Radio, sit by yourself and listen.
...not to the conditioned voices that you first hear inside your head... cause those are all of your pre-existing memories embedded in your head "reminding" you of all the "rules".
...no not those voices... just keep still till those stop and then listen to you.

Cause remember, you are a part of "God", he did create you.
And if Jesus is the son of God and is also a part of him then so are we, and so this is how/why we can live like Jesus. Jesus (or the image of Jesus, or the spiritual representation of Jesus, etc...) is an example of unconditional love. He is our aim, our example on how to love unconditionally.

Stop judging, stop gossiping, stop that negative "thinking".
All these things are simply just "the voices" in your head.
You can ask "God" to help you stop listening to these "conditioned voices" and start creating "new ones". Ones of love and acceptance.

Don't worry about what people say and think -
Obviously I'm not concerned about what you're saying or thinking while your reading this cause it's already said and done. I love myself and that's all that matters - my life is between me and "The Big Guy".

When things come back around - there's a reason for it...it's cause I'm (or someone around me that needs me is) not learning a lesson needing to be learned.
If something keeps coming back, look deep into it and eventually when you are ready  - you'll come to realize that there's actually something there you need to learn.
And when you learn the lesson (needed) then the path continues...and all (the past) is forgotten / forgiven - the lesson is always (in the end) about "love".
..about letting go.
...about loving someone for who they are.
...about finally accepting the people for who they are (not changing people, not controlling them anymore).
...about accepting the situation as it is and not trying to "control" things anymore.
...about loving yourself.

Fear is the opposite of Love.
So if you fear something you will continuously fear it till you let go of that "fear" and just allow yourself to "love" instead.
Believing that "God" will take care of you is "love".
Not believing is living in Fear and so you are not living in "love" and so the circle keeps turning.
You just don't allow "good" to come to you cause you don't believe...
...you don't believe you deserve it; you don't believe in it; you just don't believe...

Whatever you choose is your choice.
Ultimately you may choose to keep-up with your human limitations or not -
but my choice is to keep living in "love".

Heck, it's not easy - but I'm willing to give it a shot!
"God" has taken care of me for this long...

I have 4 wonderful, beautiful children that I've been blessed to parent (the best teaching job ever)!
I have a wonderful understanding fiancé who loves me dearly (a growing experience that allows us both to keep learning together).
I work a tremendously great job helping people help people.
I continuously succeed with learning new things and then graciously get to share these teachings.
...and when things aren't going my way, that's because I'm not going "His" way.

And Yes, "God" gives me money --> if I have good intentions and am not expecting it (because I think I deserve it) and I'm not greedy about it, then yes he does provide for me (and yes in actual monies). If you want proof, ask me and I'll tell you ample stories.

12/20/2010

Creating Your Holiday Experience

I enjoy reading Steve Pavlina's blogs and newsletters since he's truthfully honest, no sugar-coating.

Get to the point and tell me what I need to know/hear...
Bitter-sweet; Raw; ...whatever you call it, I like it!!

Thanks Steve for another enjoyable read!

Tammy

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Issue #30 - December 20, 2010 - http://www.stevepavlina.com/

Creating Your Holiday Experience

I've seen a few forum members lamenting that they'll be spending the holidays alone. It appears that this isn't what they want, but they've resigned themselves to it anyway. Their messages broadcast an air of sadness and perhaps a little regret.

It's perfectly fine to spend a holiday alone if that's what you want to experience. There can be many reasons for wanting to do so. Perhaps you value your solitude. Perhaps you don't celebrate certain holidays or find them too commercialized. Or perhaps you just need a break from people. Again, if this is your choice, that's absolutely fine.

But what if your preference is to enjoy a social holiday, and that doesn't seem to be happening? What if you're facing the situation of spending a holiday alone, and you'd rather not have that experience?
The people who find themselves in this situation aren't using their power to proactively create what they desire. They're being too passive to get good results. It's as if they're hoping for some grand invitation to come out of nowhere, when they're scarcely lifting a finger to make their desires a reality. They often invest more energy in complaining than in creating, which is great way to get what they don't want.

Of course if I were to be honest with such people and say to them, "You're using your power stupidly. Stop doing that. It's dumb." they might try to drown me in the punch bowl. So I'll write about it instead, which is much safer. :)

I can empathize with such people and feel compassion for them, but I also know that the "Oh poor baby" approach won't help much. I'd rather offer some realistic advice to get them moving in a positive direction, even if it pisses them off at first. Anger is a higher vibration than sadness, so that's actually a step in the right direction.

This situation is really no different from the person who complains about not being able to find a job while sitting on the couch watching TV or surfing the Internet all day. Does this person expect the phone to start ringing with job offers?

Reaching Out


There's no reason you can't create a wonderful holiday experience for yourself if you're willing to get off your butt and make it happen.

It's silly that so many people spend the holidays in solitude when they could be having a fun, social experience, if only they would take a few simple actions. There are lots of people who'd love to spend the holidays with someone who invited them.

This doesn't mean you have to spend your holidays with people you don't get along with. I'm not suggesting that you tag along for an experience you wouldn't enjoy. But I am suggesting that you have the power to create something fun that works for you.

What kind of people would you like to spend your holidays with? What kinds of activities would you enjoy? Take some time to identify your desires. If you want to spend the holidays alone, that's fine. But if you'd rather have a fun, festive, social experience, what would that look like? Give yourself permission to dream.
Now tell me this. Is it physically impossible to create this holiday you desire? If you really wanted to make it happen, could you do it? Could someone else do it if they were in your shoes?

What's preventing you from making it happen? The problem is seldom "out there." It's usually due to a lack of inner development like low courage or weak social skills. These are fixable problems though. We all start out with certain weaknesses of character, but those weaknesses can be corrected.

Your holiday will ultimately turn out the way you create it to be. You can create a lonely experience, or you can create a festive one. You're always creating something.

The very act of identifying what you desire is a big positive step forward, even if you don't see how to make it happen. Sometimes that's all it takes, and great opportunities will come to you. That won't happen unless you know what you want, however.

What does it take to create a wonderful holiday for yourself? Do you need to bake some cookies? Make some phone calls? Invite people over? Ask others if you can celebrate with them?

Redefining Family Traditions


Some of us grow up with socially conditioned notions of how we should spend the holidays. Since I grew up Catholic, I had pretty rigid notions of how certain holidays are supposed to be celebrated. As I got older, I still liked some of those traditions, but other aspects no longer resonated with me.

I realized that I have the power to create whatever kind of holiday experience I desire. I don't have to settle for a tradition that no longer works for me. I can keep the parts I like and add new ideas as well.

I celebrated the last two Thanksgivings by going to a local raw vegan potluck with 25-30 people, many of whom are friends of mine. I ate an amazing variety of food, had some great conversations, and enjoyed what I perceived to be a more conscious and compassionate way to celebrate this holiday. As I expected, my raw blueberry pie was gobbled up in no time. I loved all the amazing creations people brought -- it was much more colorful than a traditional Thanksgiving dinner. And instead of feeling sleepy afterwards, I felt energized.
On Halloween I was delivering the final day of our last Conscious Growth Workshop. I invited everyone to wear costumes, and about 50 people did so. I delivered the workshop dressed as Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars. I had a blast, and the attendees seemed to enjoy the festive atmosphere as well. It made the learning experience more fun and memorable. I realized that I have the power to create a fun experience whenever I want, even if when I'm speaking on a stage.

Tomorrow I'm catching a flight to Winnipeg, Canada. This will be the coldest place I've ever visited and my first White Christmas ever. It's about 5 degrees F there right now, so I'll probably freeze, but I'm looking forward to the new experience. Rachelle and I plan to do some cross-country skiing, and hopefully we can squeeze in a snowball fight with her friends. We also intend to host a Winnipeg meet-up at The Forks.
These are very different experiences than what I had growing up, but they didn't just happen. I invited them into my life.

Some people also like the experience of doing volunteer work on the holidays. Feed homeless people, pass out gifts to poor kids, or volunteer at a shelter. Does that appeal to you? How hard can it be to find a place to serve?

You have the ability to create whatever holiday experience you desire. It's simply a matter of deciding what you want and exercising your power to make it happen. You're a creative being. Creating a certain holiday experience is within your power.

Building Your Social Skills


Sometimes wonderful invitations will land in your lap. Other times you have to go out and make them happen.

Let me suggest that if no invitations are forthcoming, that's because you're the one who's supposed to do the inviting. Everyone else is waiting on you. Don't let them down.

Creating your own social gathering is a skill. You may not be an expert at it. I'm no Martha Stewart, but with each year I learn a little more about hosting events. I can't say it's a major strength of mine, but I've hosted some potlucks and get-togethers now and then. They've been fun experiences.

Building social skills is like building muscle. The more you train, the stronger you get. When you don't exercise your skills for a while, they atrophy and you grow weaker. That's when you look at something like spending the holidays alone and see it as a daunting problem. In the grand scheme of things, it's a small problem and one that a person with well-developed social skills could solve with a few phone calls. If it seems like a big deal to you, you've allowed your social muscles to atrophy to the point where a 5-pound weight seems too heavy to lift. If that's you, then I'd suggest putting some serious effort into building your social skills during the next year. You can start by joining clubs and going to meet-ups, such as the ones you'll find locally at Meetup.com.

Being socially weak isn't a life sentence. It's your choice if you want to maintain the status quo or become stronger. When you become socially competent, it's fairly easy to design your own holiday experience, invite people you like, and have a fun experience together. It's not like people need a ton of convincing to say yes to a celebration invitation.

If everyone says no because you creep them out or they'd rather do something else, that just means you need to keep working on your social skills -- and probably your self-esteem as well. This is an important path of development for you.

Social Abundance


As you continue to develop your social connections, you may reach the point where you're getting more invitations than you can handle. This is a good problem to have, but don't forget that you're the ultimate creator of your experience.

It can be tempting to always pick from among the options that are offered to you, but realize that you always have the option of creating something new. Even if you get invited to lots of holiday parties, you can still host your own. You have the power to create whatever experience you desire, regardless of other people's expectations. Don't be afraid to say no to the good, so you can say yes to the best.

Creating What You Want


The way to create the holiday experience you desire is to: (1) Let yourself dream about it, to get a sense of what you really want; and (2) Dive into action to move yourself in the direction of that reality. Keep taking action till you figure out how to make it work. Your results won't be perfect, but you'll get a result that's better than nothing, and you'll learn so many lessons that you can apply next time.

The way to create the holiday experience you don't want is to: (1) Think about what you don't want, and (2) Feel bad about it. You can also complain about it to others. Sprinkle some pity on top for good measure, and you'll have a nice little gift to yourself -- the kind of gift you'd rather not receive.

The difference between these two options is choice. Which choice will you make?

I'm choosing the first option. I'm going to enjoy my frozen holiday in Winnipeg. :)

Happy Holidays!

Until next time, live consciously!

Steve Pavlina

This newsletter is uncopyrighted. Feel free to share it.

11/19/2010

Knowledge, Power and Energy - What the heck are you talking about?


Watch live streaming video from peakpotentials at livestream.com

In this interview with T. Harv Eker, Harv answers some questions relating to money and success from general people. Harv's main message is to have people understand that they need to "own your power and live by example" (mentorship). He also goes on to explain that people need to "come from who you are" - you can't change or pretend to be something you're not. This is what causes "Opportunites (to become) can be obstacles" - because not being yourself you loose lack of your focus. Your focus being you.

If you start wanting too much, wanting a go on a trip, wanting to buy a new car, wanting to get a new job, wanting to change your relationship, wanting ... wanting... wanting - you have too many focuses. How can the universe give you anything, how can it provide a focus - when you yourself aren't focused on what you want? Focusing on too many little (or big) things gets you no where - you need to give (1) focus your full attention so that you can commit to it and it then becomes your path - your soul focus.

Focus on this path. Commit to that hard work and learn about it, learn all you need to know about it - be it. Learn about you within this path. How can you make this focus a reality? What do you need to do?

This is where Action = Fear. Are you willing to take the necessary action(s) inspite of the fear you are feeling? How do you push through this fear? How do you move forward? The answer is simple - just like you would do for anything else: Train. You need to train yourself, your brain, your mental state, your physical state, your heart, your soul - whatever - you need to train you.

"Fear is the yellow light that turns green." T. Harv Eker

You need to acknowledge that fear because it's real - it's there. But beyond that, you still need to go for it... one step at a time of course! And how to best arm yourself from this fear --> knowledge. The more you know, the more power you give yourself to take action. "Once you're in ACTION fear goes away" T. Harv Eker.

What is power? Power is simple - Power is knowing that your mental; physical; and spiritual states are all interconnected. You can't drive a car without gas; wheels; or a motor can you? You need all of these piece in place to make it work. Also, can you drive if you have a motor; wheels but no gas? NO! You need all 3 - You need to connect to your Mental; Physical and Spiritual YOU. You can't successfully succeed at anything till you do that. The 'outter' world is always temporary. Things around you will always change. Therefore you need to take care of what you can control and that's your 'inner' world - your roots. Once you've got the root (you) worked out then everything else will take care of itself. How? How can you say that? ...you ask. Because you believe it - because you believe in you. Are you really going to let yourself down? Yes you might trip and fall - you might even brake a leg in the process... but REALLY - the REALITY of it all is that you consiously know that you want what's best for you. So if you truly believe that you've reached your limit and this is as good as it gets for you... then guess what? The universe's answer to you is: Your wish is my command. Why...

Karma: What you give is what you get. <-- Universal Law

If you're not giving yourself the permission to move beyond where you are. If you're not giving yourself the permission to grow; to change; to whatever... then "You're wish is my command" is what you get. And guess who picked that for you... You did. Isn't that pretty crappy? You can't make things better if you don't believe you can - You'll never be able to afford it if you never believe you can. You'll never go anywhere if you don't believe you can. You'll never ... because you don't believe - and because you don't believe, you don't even try.

T. Harv Eker also explains: "Everything is Energy. Money is Energy. ...and Your Energy projection is your results..". So what does this mean? Well again - if you don't use your energy, it's being wasted isn't it? You create it on-goingly but choose to simply just not use it... why? Cause basically you don't really believe in it so what does it matter? Use it - It's there...! Plus you're the one who created, who creates it on-goingly!

So now how can you use this "Energy" to create something? Well think beyond your value. If you have a talent and are providing a service or solving a problem - why can't you double this?
I don't have time...
I don't have enough money...
I just have too much too do...
There's just one of me and I can't do it alone...
Blah blah blah... sob sob sob... me, me, me...
Look at me I'm a poor victim <-- Your wish is my command.

"Think beyond your value" T. Harv Eker
Harv continues with "...have a passion for your ability to solve... passion for what you do... LOVE what you do! ... Be confident that you can do well in any arena as long as you have a passion for it...".
Build your knowledge.
Believe in yourself - believe you are an expert... You're an expect at that moment, with that client... this moment in time is all that matters right now and give that person everything you've got - with Passion!!

Main principle message:

If you want apples then you need to plant the tree. <-- Start at the root. What are your beliefs, your blockages? Do you have the right soil? Do you have the right seeds? Are your roots ready...

You can't expect apples to grow from a lemon tree. <-- Knowledge: Build your knowledge so that you understand what you need to know...

Get down and dirty and plant your seeds. <-- Put focus where focus is due. You can't just expect to walk outside and expect an apple tree to just pop-up in your yard, fully grown and be ready to be harvested... REALITY CHECK! You need to get down on your knees and plant those seeds and wait... Your work will give you results, if you've invested in the right "focus".

T. Harv Eker provides an analogy as follows:

If I asked you if you could walk a mile - you'd probably say "ya sure I could do that".
If I asked you if you could run a mile - you'd probably say "what? no - couldn't... well maybe... but it would be hard".
If I asked you if you could walk 25 miles - you'd probably say "ya but again it would be hard and long..."
If I asked you if you could run 25 miles - you'd probably say "what are you crazy, I couldn't run 25 miles straight through without stopping!"
If I asked you then if you could run 25 miles in a year - you'd probably say "well maybe I could do that"
I would then ask: "how and why would in a year from now be so different?"
You'd say: "Because I could take the time to train. I could pace myself and by next year I could be ready."

Key here - is training; knowledge and belief.
If you train YOU (Physically) by knowing what to do (Knowledge - Mental) then you believe (Spirit) that you CAN do it - and then before you know it you're running 25 miles!

The mind is a powerful tool. It holds millions and millions of files filled with information we gather from every day, every moment of our lives. Those files are what creates our belief system. If even one of those files is filled with false information, this can cause us a blockage. Now if multiple of these files are filled with false hope; false values; empty promises; restrictive beliefs... all of this is limiting ourself from our own success.
We are stopping ourselves because of what we think we know, of what we think is right... You need to look deep and find those files, identify them, and change them. Allow yourself to replace those files, or at least some of them, with new - up-to-date - real information.

If as a child you were always told that you need to work to get what you want and that nothing in life is free... then what are your files telling you?
"Don't accept anything from anyone cause it's not really Free..."
"Don't offer anything to anyone cause you'll end up paying for it..."
"If it's easy, it's no good - you need to work hard for things to have value..."
Wow... those are some messed-up files!
You need to find those and change them fast!
...cause this blog you are reading... it's easy to read and it's free!

Humm... got you thinking, right?

Tips for Hanging Picture Frames and Framed Art

To See Visual Examples and Explore more options, visit my one of my Pinterest boards:  http://pinterest.com/tammymathieu   General Hang...