Self-Assessment: Anxiety

Many of us are struggling to balance increasing workloads with added family pressures, such as financial issues and the care-giving needs of both children and ailing adult loved ones. The result can be an overload of stress which, for 25% of us, leads to anxiety disorders at some point during our lives. 

When stress begins to feel out of hand, it is time to assess whether you may be suffering from an anxiety disorder. Given that this is one of the easiest mental conditions to treat, diagnosis is the first step towards recovery. Now could be the perfect day to begin. 

Tips and Tools You Can Use

Stress isn't an illness. It is merely mental or emotional tension and has a positive role to play in the release of adrenaline, which helps us face life's deadlines and challenges. However, if your reaction to stress becomes exaggerated or irrational, it is time to ask your doctor about anxiety disorders. Here are some tips to help you get started: 

Symptoms may include

• Chronic worrying, nervousness and heightened fears.
• Shaking, twitching or trembling.
• Hot flushes, sweating.
• Dizziness, light-headedness.
• Numbness or tingling.
• Breathlessness or a choking sensation.
• Racing heart, tight chest.
• Feelings of impending doom.
• Depression and insomnia.
• Sudden panic attacks which may involve trembling, shaking, racing heart, tight chest, breathlessness, a choking sensation and feelings of being out of control.
• Fear of panic attacks.
• Phobias, involving an irrational fear of certain objects or situations.
• Extreme fear of being humiliated or 'shown up' in front of others, resulting in difficulty speaking, writing or interacting in public.
• Continual and compulsive unwanted thoughts or ritual actions that cannot be controlled.
• Anxiety that is impacting on your life.
• Anxiety vs stress
• Panic Attacks

Some of the above symptoms may indicate other, more serious conditions. 

Please check with your doctor. 

Treatment

• A thorough physical examination to rule out any physical medical conditions.
• Cognitive Behaviour Therapy involves gaining understanding of thinking patterns, gradual exposure to and mastery of situations that have provoked anxiety, and various strategies-including breathing and relaxation techniques-to reduce unwanted reactions.

·         Medications  

o   Access to Health Canada medication related information (http://www.hc-c.gc.ca/english/product.htm)

o   Health Canada drug product database  (http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/hpb-dgps/therapeut/htmleng/dpd.html

o   What's this pill for again?

(http://www.50Plus.com)

• A combination of medication and therapy
• Coping with anxiety

o   Simple things you can do to control stress (http://stress.about.com/library/weekly/aa112600a.htm)

• Supporting someone with anxiety

 

Helpful Resources

Self-assessment questionnaire

(http://www.anxieties.com/self.php)

Anxiety Disorders Association of Manitoba (ADAM)

(http://www.adam.mb.ca/about.html)

This article is not intended to replace professional consultation. Please see your doctor for all medical concerns.

For more information or to arrange an appointment

for confidential counselling, contact FGIworld,

your EAP/EFAP provider, (24 hours-a-day/7days-a-week) at:

1-800-268-5211 (English) 1-800-363-3872 (en français)

The Art of Execution: Passion to Action

Let's get down to business, and by business I mean: Gary Vaynerchuk


Youtube video of Gary Vaynerchuk via theARTof.com

Are you a hockey player playing soccer? And if so, are you the type to drop the stick and start dribbling or will step-out and go find a pond?

Wow, nothing like just getting right down to the point! Love it, thank you Gary!

Knowing WHO you are and WHAT drives you is indeed an important factor in life - that IS what life should be about; however like most of us know - it doesn't always workout that way. We live in a world where we build ourselves-up to become who we 'think' we should be and we end-up doing stuff we 'think' we should be doing... Yikes! All-this-while watching those who don't conform rise to the top!

Look at yourself in the mirror (as Gary explains), REALLY look at yourself and ... let's get honest here. If you can't be honest with yourself - and truly allow yourself "your" truth - then how do you expect it to ever become a reality.

Taking Time for You and Your Partner

As a parent you spend most of your time taking care of your children. But do you really do a great job of taking care of yourself, your partner or your relationship as a couple? If you have settled into a routine of sacrificing your time and energy to looking after your family and your career, you may be neglecting your own well-being and your relationship with your partner.

The whole family benefits when parents take care of themselves and one another. After all, a happy and healthy parent will have more patience and energy to give. If you’ve been focusing all of your time and energy on your family, try some of the following suggestions for activities for you and/or your partner:

Tips On How to Make Time For Yourself And Your Partner

• Curl up on the couch and read a book
• Soak in the tub
• Ride your bike
• Take a walk
• Play a musical instrument
• Have coffee with a friend
• Pursue a hobby
• Sign up for a course
• Go out for dinner
• Go away for a weekend

These ideas may seem simple, but they may be things you haven’t taken time to do for quite some time. Some take an hour, others require a longer commitment. Take time for yourself, one step at a time. The important thing is to refresh your body, renew your mind and take time for yourself and your partner.

Take Time For Romance

Children learn by example. By maintaining romance and affection in your relationship, you are giving your child the gift of a loving home and showing your children the importance of a caring relationship. Try to spend at least a few uninterrupted minutes together each day. Don’t wait until all of the children are in bed and all of the chores are done – since you’ll be too tired to really communicate.

Schedule a “date” each week and spend the time just enjoying each other’s company. It doesn’t matter what you do and it doesn’t have to cost a lot – go for a walk, ride a bike, take a course together or go for a coffee. Try to forget all about the household matters and just share. Spending time together builds a couple’s emotional collateral so that when times are tough or challenging, you can weather the difficulties together because of the trust and faith you have established.

Take Time For Friendships Too

Don’t neglect your friends because you are spending all of your time with your children, your household or your career. Friends are also important to our well-being. Friendships can also help refresh and renew our spirits and help us laugh. They can also provide a perspective and a kind of understanding that our partner and children cannot. So take time to share with friends.

Leaving Your Child

If you haven’t left your child(ren) with a babysitter too often, he/she/they might make a fuss. However, it is important that you help the child understand that you must go, but that you will be back soon. If your children are particularly hesitant to be left with a babysitter, start with a short outing (such as a walk or a coffee close by) and build towards leaving them for an entire evening.

Remember, being a parent takes a lot of energy and no one has an endless supply. You need to take care of yourself and of each other to ensure you have the strength, stamina and healthy outlook to rise to the very demanding role of parent. This means you need to be sure to nurture your own and your relationship’s health.

For more information or to arrange an appointment 

for confidential counselling, contact FGIworld,

your EAP/EFAP provider, (24 hours-a-day/7days-a-week) at:

1-800-268-5211 (English) 1-800-363-3872 (en français)

Discover the Purpose-Driven Life with Oprah and Pastor Rick Warren

"The best use of your life is to invest it in [something that] will outlast it. And that's what it means to live a purpose-driven life." – Pastor Rick Warren

Here are some great resourceful tips and wonderful ah-ha moments from the Oprah Lifeclass:
Oprah and Pastor Rick Warren: The Purpose Driven Life

These videos are made possible through the wonderful works of Oprah's Lifeclass.

Pastor Rick Warren on the 5 Things That Shape You

Pastor Rick Warren says there are five things that "SHAPE" a person: Spiritual gifts, Heart, Ability, Personality and Experiences. Find out why he believes God never wastes a hurt. Then, Pastor Warren shares his definition of humility with the Oprah's Lifeclass audience in Houston.

Why Pastor Rick Warren Says Surviving Isn't Thriving

Pastor Rick Warren believes everyone lives at one of three levels in life: Survival, Success and Significance. Only when you reach the highest level—Significance—are you living your life with purpose. Watch as Pastor Warren explains how America is filled with people who are just getting by at the Survival level. Plus, why Pastor Warren says the "good life" isn't good enough.

Pastor Rick Warren: What Drives You?

The title of Pastor Rick Warren's best-selling book The Purpose Driven Life was no accident. Find out why he says everyone's life is driven by something—and why if you live for the approval of others, you will die by their rejection.

Learn more and view more videos here: Oprah and Pastor Rick Warren: The Purpose Driven Life

What are your thoughts in watching these clips, did you gain any ah-ha moments yourself?

------------------------------------------------------------------
Shortly after sharing the above post, I received a comment outside this post saying something along the line of:

Rick Warren is a "Christians are better than Muslims" , supporter of chic fil a's antigay hate mongering "traditionnal families" supporter. I dont think he's in any position to be listened to...but thats just my opinion.

Here is my feedback:

Thank you for questioning and commenting; I always love feedback and discussing various viewpoints! Yes there are various posts online claiming to having Rick Warren declare a bunch of stuff, whether they're true or not are none of my concerns.

What concerns me, what occupies my inner-connections, what speaks to me are the "ah-ha" moments I receive when listening to various people share their messages.

My grandmother shared with us some pretty amazing things and one of them was to always receive the message that is given to you when its the truth. You know its the truth when it speaks to you (your soul). You 'feel' the message. Everything else isn't for you and/or isn't really "your truth" for that moment.

Also when messages are being given these "messages" originate from somewhere... deep from within "you". Sometimes what comes out of our mouth is inspired from a place of greatness, we just feel those moments and allow them to consume us - those are moments of truth. You've accepted to being a vessel and allow whatever message that is felt, come out to be share with those around you. Other times when things randomly come out of our mouth where we end-up with that "taste awful"; these messages, too, come from a place deep-down within. These not-so-nice thoughts or things said are unresolved emotions: resentment, jealousy, judgement, whatever...Once we notice what we've said, that's when we get our 'ah-ha' moments, ourselves. (Sometimes we need to say them out loud so that we can realize that: 'wow did I just say that? Why would I think that way...?)

Everything we think, hear, and say are simply words - we put emotions and judgement on them based on how we 'decipher' (aka judge) the information. What we 'believe' to be wrong might not be to someone else, just as what we might 'believe' to be complete none-sense may turn out to be the next big thing!

Our life journey is a series of judgement calls (choices).

So going back to this Pastor's message... I got inspired by some of his messaging. And so will I reject what he said in-this-moment because of something that has past? If this message speaks to me, why shouldn't I choose to accept it and... move on?

Another story: I read a wonderful book called: "Excuse me your life is waiting" (http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/69947.Excuse_Me_Your_Life_Is_Waiting) I absolutely LOVE LOVE LOVE it! I LOVED it so much I've read it twice (so far).

Great message about life, about manifesting what you want, about changing your thoughts and changing your life.

After my first read of the book, I did a search online wanting to find out if she did conferences or even had other books or materials I could look into... blah-blah-blah long story short, she fell sick and I read online that she committed suicide (some say it was assisted). Whatever the case maybe - I was shocked! How could someone with such a great message and inspire so many, choose this path? Could I continue believe her 'story' or 'message'? I was thrown back for sometime...

This is when I picked-up the book again a few months later, and after reading it a second time - I just knew that the message it brings into the world is just that, "a message".

Messages of "truth" are meant for: the people, the world, the person in front of you, for yourself - these messages aren't necessarily from you, but for you. Sometimes we don't know we REALLY can do something unless we actually try to do it - that's when we find out that, "wow, I really can do this?!".

The same is said of messages - sometimes we don't know what lies deep-within us unless we allow it to come out, the good with the bad. These discoveries are where/how we uncover ourselves, and thus are presented with choices, self-questioning:
- Do I keep this belief?
- Where did I get that from? Do I really, truly believe that?
- Maybe this belief worked for me before, but does it work in my life now?
- Am I holding on to this belief for comfort? ...because of someone? ...why is this important to me?
- Why do I think that way, and could I maybe be missing out on a different viewpoint?
- Am I really allowing myself to see all angles or am I being narrow-minded; and why? What's stopping me from opening up? Am I afraid of something... and if I am, what is it?

The process of continued questioning is a great way to self-discovery.

When I hear (listen) to messages being shared 'not' everything gets registered in my mind - and if something strikes a cord with me, it doesn't necessarily mean it'll have the same impact on you. And even if we react to the same message, will its impact truly have the 'same meaning' for the both of us? Probably not, it could be similar - but it probably won't be 100% the-same.

Alright - I digress again... The pastor's message in this part of his life, on this day while he was with Oprah, living this "Lifeclass" ...this moment, I believe was a moment of truth.  What happened before and what happens after, is outside this moment, is outside this message.

On that note, I thank you again for your feedback! Your comment obviously struck a cord with me and unleashed a "message".  Thank you.

So now, I ask again -
What are your thoughts in watching these clips, did you gain any ah-ha moments yourself?

Tips for Time-Stressed Families

Families today are definitely "time-stressed." It seems like there are never enough hours in the day and you keep getting asked to do more with less. First and foremost, remember to keep your life in perspective and try to "live in" and enjoy the moment. If you are too busy worrying about rushing to your next activity or appointment, you'll miss out on "the now." 

TIPS TO HELP YOU AND YOUR FAMILY COPE WITH MULTIPLE PRIORITIES

DEVELOP A FAMILY CALENDAR 

Using a family calendar to keep track of activities and chores can keep everyone in the family on track and help prevent missed appointments, surprises or oversights. Encourage all family members, including young children, to get in the habit of noting important events, activities or deadlines on the calendar. Use a large erasable white board or a large paper calendar that offers enough space to write activities and events clearly. The calendar can be used to note:

• Menus
• Projects
• Appointments (doctor, dentist, orthodontist, etc.), teacher meetings, etc.
• School holidays and PD/PA days (Professional Development)
• Birthdays and birthday parties
• Community meetings
• Athletic events (e.g. hockey, softball practice, dance class, etc.)
• Holidays
• Social events
• Work commitments (e.g. if a parent is away on business or at a conference)

Before discarding or erasing the calendar each month, determine what can be eliminated or what is taking more time than originally planned. 

ESTABLISH ROUTINES

Although your family is already following a type of routine out of necessity, it might be time to consider establishing a slightly more structured set of routines to follow. Routines can help us schedule and complete all of the many tasks involved in our day-to-day lives. They can provide a sense of order and predictability and can also help forge stronger family bonds. Here are a few examples of family routines:

Preparing for mornings: Make mornings more enjoyable by getting into the habit of preparing the night before for the morning rush. For example, after dinner, prepare lunches and set the breakfast table. Encourage children to prepare their backpacks and bathe the night before. Select your own and your children's clothes before going to bed.

Dinner routines: Hopefully, dinner is one time when all or most of the family gets together. Make it a real "family affair" by getting older children involved in meal preparation (and planning) and having younger children set and clear the table. Turn off the radio or TV and put aside the newspaper so that you can all enjoy each other's company. Establish some dinnertime family traditions around story telling or sharing of the day's funniest moments.

Routines for children: Children thrive with a certain amount of structure. By helping children develop their own routines, you can also help them build self-esteem, self-discipline and independence. Encourage them to develop a bedtime routine that includes self-care (brushing teeth, bathing, etc.), preparation for the next day and bedtime reading. Establish a set of weekly chores or errands (taking out garbage, cutting grass, raking leaves, sorting laundry, etc.) for which they are responsible.

PLAN AHEAD:

• Make a weekly meal plan and freeze meals ahead of time. Make double portions of the family's favourite dishes. Make and freeze sandwiches and other lunches and take them out at breakfast time so they will thaw by lunch.
• Buy birthday, anniversary and special events cards and gifts in advance, to prevent last-minute gift hunting and wrapping.
• Have back-up plans for after-school or daycare. Keep phone numbers of your children's school friends at work so you can call if you need back-up for pick-up at school or daycare in the event of an emergency.
• Find and use support systems - car pool with neighbours or other parents; create a schedule of reciprocal pick-up at the day care or at sports activities and parties as well as reciprocal babysitting.

SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE:

• Consolidate bill paying. Stash bills in one place when they arrive. Pick a time each month to sort and pay bills that are due.
• Set realistic standards for housework. Learn to delegate tasks and chores to your partner and children. Save time by combining chores with regular routines -- for example, after showering, always wipe the shower stall/tiles and mop up around the sink each night at bedtime. Create one central spot for laundry and ask each family member to put his or her dirty laundry in that designated spot/receptacle.
• Keep meals simple - especially during busy times. Nutritious meals don't have to be complicated or gourmet. On busy nights, soup, sandwich and fruit can suffice. Get children involved in selecting lunch foods and in preparing their lunches.
• Choose easy-care clothing for yourself and your family. This will cut down on trips to the dry cleaners as well as laundry and ironing.
• Review the number of after-school, evening or weekend activities that your family participates in and determine whether these can be reduced in favour of rest or at-home time.

USE OUTSIDE SERVICES:

If feasible, use outside services and/or hire a high school student to help with:

• House cleaning
• Grass cutting and gardening
• Snow shovelling
• Car washing and maintenance
• Pet care   
  
  
  For more information or to arrange an appointment 
  for confidential counselling, contact FGIworld,
  your EAP/EFAP provider, (24 hours-a-day/7days-a-week) at:
  1-800-268-5211 (English)

   1-800-363-3872 (en français)

What is Stress?

Stress is a word we all hear - or maybe even use - every day. It's worth giving some thought to what it really means, so that we can actually prevent, reduce or cope with it. 

Technically, stress is a physical or emotional reaction to an event or situation that we find demanding. When something happens, we automatically evaluate it to determine how it makes us feel - annoyed, overwhelmed, upset, excited or threatened - and what we can do about it. If we decide that the demands of a situation outweigh our coping skills, we are likely to unconsciously label it 'stressful' and react with the classic stress response. 

Tips and Tools You Can Use

Stress can be a healthy way of enhancing performance or an unhealthy drain on physical and mental resources. The bottom line is that stress is normal, inevitable and - depending on your awareness of what triggers the stress response in you and how you handle it - manageable. Here are some great tips to help you understand stress and the effects it can have: 

The stress response

• Your body's first reaction to stress is often called the 'fight or flight' response. This causes a rush of adrenaline.
• During this stage, your body mobilizes its resources to respond to the stress that it perceives, readying the energy stores required for 'fight or flight'.
• If there is no relief from the stressors that caused the initial response, your body will start releasing stored sugars and fats.
• If the situation continues without resolution, your body's energy reserves can become depleted.
• Physical reactions include muscle tension, insomnia, a racing pulse and a knot in the stomach. Stress levels may also contribute to heart disease and stroke.
• Many people also have emotional and behavioural responses layered on top. These can include overeating, drinking excessively, withdrawal and depression.
• Anxiety vs stress

Different stress for different folks

• What you personally find stressful depends on who you are and what kind of coping skills you have.
• Stress-provoking situations can range from minor daily hassles to major life events - and not all of them are negative.
• Traffic jams, deadlines and disagreements may create irritating stress, but getting married or receiving a promotion are wonderful experiences that can also be stressful.
• Losing your job or dealing with the death of a loved one are among the greatest stressors that we face.
• Understanding balance

Knowing when you're under stress

• It's important to recognize the signs of unhealthy responses to stress that signal it's time to do something about it. Each of us has different warning signs and symptoms, which can include the following symptoms.
• Irritability.
• Frequent complaining, blaming or criticizing.
• Difficulty in falling and/or staying asleep.
• Headaches, back pain, upset stomach, frequent colds or flu.
• Difficulty concentrating.
• Lack of motivation.

Dealing with stress

• There is no single, 'right way' of coping with stress. You need to figure out what works best for you, given your personality, temperament and your work and family situation.
• Learn to recognize your own stress symptoms.
• Look at your lifestyle and see what, if anything, can be changed.
• If change is possible, do it! Learn to accept and manage what cannot be changed.
• Reflect whether life could be simplified. Do your children really need to be at activities every night? Cut back to favourite pursuits and enjoy some 'down time' at home with your children.
• Recognize that you can't do everything. Learn to say 'No'.
• Prioritize tasks that must be done. Divide each task into manageable stages.
• Delegate or eliminate tasks that aren't essential.
• Getting back to basics
• Time-stressed - simplify your life
• Creating an action plan to achieve balance

Follow a healthy lifestyle

• Use relaxation techniques to help reduce the effects of stress. Try yoga, meditation or deep breathing.
• Exercise is one of the most effective stress remedies of all.
• Eat a healthy diet and get plenty of rest and sleep. Make time for yourself in your schedule.
• Have fun sometimes with family and/or friends - it's a great way to regenerate the energy you need for life's challenges.
• Healthy lifestyle
• Emotional health - do I have it?

Helpful Resources

Your great balancing act - tools and advice
(http://www.chatelaine.com/article.jsp?page=health&cid=661127)

Simple things you can do today to control stress
(http://stress.about.com/library/weekly/aa112600a.htm)

Finance Review Tips

Wouldn’t it be nice to have had a “Money Management” class in school? Instead ‘trial and error’ has become our ‘lessons learned’. Money can cause enormous stress as we try to clear up bills, debts and try to save some money for the future… which only ends-up paying off our bills and debts! Understanding budgeting is the key and it’s easier than most expect. 

Tips and Tools to Use 

Step 1: Identify income and expenses

Step 2: Break down your expenses into (daily, weekly, bi-weekly or monthly):

a)    “Fixed payments” such as rent, mortgage, loan payments, insurances, etc.

b)    “Variable expenses” that can be controlled, including gifts, entertainment, travel, food, clothing, etc.

c)    “Pocket-change expenses” such as snacks, newspapers, spontaneous small purchases, coffee, etc. (These add up fast!)

Step 3: Assessing the situation 

a)    Sum up all income sources such as take home pay, pensions, child support, alimony, rental income, etc.

b)    Sum up all “fixed payments” expenses

c)    Sum up all “variable expenses”

d)     Sum up your daily “pocket-change expenses”

e)      Add savings and emergency amount

Step 4: Balancing income and expenses

a)    Compare your expenses to your income.

b)    If you need to trim your budget, clearly identify the amount needed.

c)    If you notice a significant imbalance, you might want to review your budget with a credit counsellor or financial advisor.

 Step 5: Trimming expenses

Where to start? I have too many expenses and not enough money!

a)    “Fixed payments”: No one thinks about trimming these payments because of their importance. But savings are occasionally possible with your fixed payments by doing your research: such as better mortgage rates, loan consolidation, etc.

b)    “Variable expenses”: split your list into ‘needs’ such as food, clothing and utilities, etc. and then a list of ‘wants’ such as entertainment, hobbies, travel, etc.

c)    “Pocket-change expenses”: consider car pooling, make your own coffee “to-go”, bring a lunch, borrow a newspaper or read the on-line news, etc.

d)    Set realistic goals: You need to allow yourself small treats. You don’t want to set too harsh a budget – this will only cause you to give up.

Step 6: Savings and Emergencies

a)    Here are some tips for savings:

a.    Saving funds are important, try cutting from your ‘wants’ before cutting from your ‘savings and emergencies’ budget.

b.    Consider emergencies and savings as part of your ‘needs’ budget.

c.    An automated suggestion would be to have payroll deductions deposited into a savings account.

Sources:

How to handle your debt load - Manage Debt Step by Step (http://moneycentral.msn.com/articles/smartbuy/debt/contents.asp)

What Debt To Pay Off First (http://www.bankrate.com/dotp/news/cc/19980713.asp)

Household budget form (http://www.ourfamilyplace.com/budget1.html)

How to budget (http://www.bankrate.com/dotp/news/advice/20000511b.asp?keyword=)

Money Saving Tips (http://www.ourfamilyplace.com/saving.html)