Choosing To Judge is My Problem

I watched a movie on Netflix last night, and was moved by several blocks stories within it.

Peace, Love, & Misunderstanding



















Watch Trailer here:



There were several things going on in the movie that I seemed to connect with. Now I'm not going to go into all the details since, well - you should just watch the movie! :)

Grace (the Grandmother) is a 'hippy-free-spirit' who receives her daughter and two young-adult children in to her home after not seeing them for 20 years. The daughter, Diane,  is an uptight-lawyer who's husband just announced that he wants a divorce.

During the family's adventure with Grandma, they all learn about themselves... in a safe, welcoming, and 'open' environment.

I caught myself between wanting to be like Grace and fighting off the "Diane" front I've built for myself. Like "Diane" we get so caught-up in wanting to do what we're 'supposed' to do, and to do the right thing. But what the "Grace" of the world present back to us is... what is right, really? Early on in the movie, Grace says: "Exclusion is an necessary violence, don't you think?"

There are so many quotes and learning moments  within the movie, that for me - I could go on forever.

But one in particular that stuckout for me was towards the end, when Zoe and Cole 'confront' eachother with the truth:

Zoe: Do you, uh, think I'm violent with you? Closed off? Defensive?

Cole: Sometimes.
Zoe: But you're here.
Cole: Yeah, I am. I am here.
Zoe: And I judge you for what you do.
Cole: That's not my problem.
Zoe: Well, it kind of is.
Cole: No, no, actually, it's - that's your problem.

What that triggered for me was the 'truth' Cole was able to share about judgement.
When we 'choose' to judge, when we 'choose' to blame, when we 'choose' to want to make someone else change - we're not accepting and so we're kind-of rejecting... love. Whether it be love for someone, for us, or just love in general, blocking ourselves, of this love, because of judgement is a choice.

Here's another quote that spoke to me, in just Letting Go:

Diane: You want me to just let go of 40 years of irresponsibility, embarrassment, and her total refusal to grow up?

Jude: Yes, exactly.
Diane: [incredulous] Like a balloon that'll just float away.
Jude: It's not a balloon, Diane. It's a sandbag you've got to drop for the balloon to get off the ground.

Quotes made available via: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1649780/quotes


My lesson learn via the movie.

Just a simple reminder that – we can’t change anyone (but ourselves) and so when we ‘chose to judge’ we’re actually part of the problem.

We must be the ones to let go of our judgement to see beyond ‘the belief’.