Loosing Sight of Joy

TEDxKC - Brené Brown - The Price of Invulnerability   (YouTube)

Brene Brown has a wonderful way of being able to Talk directly to your shame without having you want to crawl into a dark hole thinking you must be a terrible person. This segment of TedTalkxKC enabled Brown with the platform needed to discuss how unknowingly ...or knowingly... we numb ourselves to moments of potential joy due to possibilities of exposing ourselves to emotions of vulnerability. 


Why would I want to wait till that moment happens - that state of fear...when everything bad is happening to me and I can't do anything about it?
Isn't then already going to be too late? ...I'm consumed by fear and in a state of total weakness and everything around me seems unreachable and ...I fall apart.

Isn't it better to always be ready, ...anyways?
Why not just be ready - all the time.

...Because this [just staying ready] has you living in continuous fear of life.

"I don't want to ruin the moment by enjoying it cause as soon as I let me guards down, everything will fall apart...and I won't be ready."
" I can't not be ready. Are you crazy - everyone is depending on me to hold it all together. I don't have time to enjoy things... I'm just there to take care of things, to make sure they're all perfect."
"I enjoy moments... I just enjoy them after they're all done - cause then I know it went well. And I can reminisce on what happened."

Can you not spot the lacks in the above statements?
The lack of life;
the lack of living in the present moment (the now);
the lack of vulnerabilily; etc...

Brene presents a solution of choosing a gratitude-attitude.

Yes, life won't always be perfect - but living the ordinary is extraordinary!
Be grateful in the moment, every moment - because this is your moment, this is your life.

...don't waste time fearing what won't happen and then regretting that lost time.

Live the now and fill your your spirit with love, joy, happiness, and peace -
let go of the fear, guilt, anxieties and worries.

And then -if-, and ONLY if, something was to happen negatively...
...you'll be better prepared to deal with it.
 Because now you're able to retrieve [pull] from your spirit all the good energies gained while you are living in the moment - which is continuously providing you with the strength and courage to pull through anything and everything.

"Believe in yourself and there will come a day when others will have no choice but to believe with you." Oscar Wilde

THE COLD WITHIN

The following poem by an unknown source tells the sad take of what happens when people pre-judge one another.

Six humans trapped by happenstance, in bleak and bitter cold,
Each one possessed a stick of wood, or so the story's told.

Their dying fire in need of logs, the first man held his back,
For of the faces 'round the fire, he noticed one was black.

The next man looking 'cross the way saw one not of his chirch,
And couldn't bring himself to give the fire his stick of birch.

The third one sat in tattered clothes, he gave his coat a hitch,
Why should his log be put to use to warm the idle rich?

The rich man just sat back and thought of the wealth he had in store,
And how to keep what he had earned from the lazy, shiftless poor.

The black man's face bespoke revenge as the fire passed from sight,
For all he saw in his stick of wood was a chance to spite the white.

The last man of this forlorn group did naught except for gain,
Giving only to those who gave was how he played the game.

Their logs held tight in death's still hand was proof of human sin, 
They didn't die from the cold without - they died from the cold within.

AUTHOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS

FROM There's a Hole in My Sidewalk

by Portia Nelson

I

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost ...I am helpless.

It isn't my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

II 

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don't see it.

I fall in again.

I can't believe I am in the same place.

But, it isn't my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

III 

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in. It's a habit.

My eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It  is my fault. I get out immediately.

IV

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

V

I walk down another street.

The Shaddow Effect Quiz

In this blog I'm sharing with you a quiz extracted from the book: The Shadow Effect
 


This book is a great resource in gaining an understanding of what The/Your "Shadow" is and what's its role in the Universe (our lives). All three authors are highly recommended (Deepak Chopra; Debbie Ford; Marianne Williamson); and gaining the advantage of  tasting their work in one-bundled book (The Shadow Effect) is priceless.

The quiz brings forward (to you) an awareness of how much influence the Shadow is taking precedence in your life; how much your life choices are being guided by the Shadow and more...

The Shadow Effect was also presented on Oprah with the added "Breakthrough Program" which lasted six-weeks!
The quiz is also available on the www.oprah.com site:
http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Quiz-The-Shadow-Effect

Learn more about the book and its authors and get access to an excerpt (Introduction) here:
http://www.theshadoweffect.com/custom/book.php

"We’re often afraid of looking at our shadow because we want to avoid the shame or embarrassment that comes along with admitting mistakes. We feel that if we take a deep look at ourselves, we’ll be too exposed. But the thing we should actually fear is not looking at it, for our denial of the shadow is exactly what fuels it. One day I looked at something in myself that I had been avoiding because it was too painful. Yet once I did, I had an unexpected surprise. Rather than self-hatred, I was flooded with compassion for myself because I realized the pain necessary to develop that coping mechanism to begin with." — Marianne Williamson

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"It's only when we have the courage to face things exactly as they are without any self-deception or illusion, tha a light will develop out of events by which the path to success may be recognized." I Ching

1. How long have you been working on the same issues, be they in the area of your career, health, intimate relationships, or finances?

A. Less than twelve months
B. One to three years
C. More than five years
D. More than ten years

2. In the past twelve monts, how many times have you misplaced something important, gotten a traffic ticket, had an accident, or destroyed somthing of value?

A: None
B. Once or twice
C. More than five times
D. More than ten times

3. How often do you feel phony, inauthentic, or find that it takes a hot of effort to get people to perceive you in a certain way?

A. All the time
B. Occasionally
C. Almost never
D. Never

4. If your firends, coworkers, and family members were interviewed, would they say that you complain...

A. Seldom to never
B. Maybe once a day
C. Freqeuntly
D. All the time

5. In the past twelve months, how many times have you said something or done something that you later regretted, whether immediately or over time?

A. None
B. Once or twice
C. More then five times
D. More than ten times

6. After you've achieved a personal goal - reasched your desired weight, paid off your credit cards, organized your home or office, etc. - which of the following emothions are you more likely to experience?

A. Relieved that you made it but wary that you may backslide into old behaviors
B. Entitled - you deserve a reward for all your hard work!
C. Inspired by your success and committed to keeping up the good work
D. Resentful that you had to work so hard in the first place

7. How often do you notice yourself feeling inadequate, not good enough, unloved, or unworthy?

A. All the time
B. Occasionally
C. Almost never
D. Never

8. On a scale of 1-10, how willing are you to speak your truth, even if it runs contrary to the opinions of others?

A. 8-10; I am very willing to speak my truth.
B. 5-7; Most of the time I am willing to speak my truth.
C. 3-5; I am occasionally willing to speak my truth.
D. 1-2; I am almost never willing to speak my truth.

9. What is the primary focus of your life right now?

A. Advancing your career, improving your health, building wealth, or deepening your relationships
B. Managing strained relationships or "putting out fires" at work and at home
C. Making measurable progress toward your goals over a reasonable period of time
D. Trying to avert or avoid immediate disaster in the area of your finances, relationships, health, or career

10. What percentage of the time can you count on yourself to keep your work and uphold your promises - whether to yourself or to another?

A. Less than 10%
B. Less than 25%
C. About 50%
D. Most of the time

11. How much time each day do you spend gossiping - whether talking about someone you know, reading tabloids, or watching gossip TV?

A. None
B. Less than one hour a day
C. More than one hour a day
D. More than three hours a day

12. Which of the following statements would you use to describe your life?

A. Most of the time, things work out failrly easily for me.
B. I have many talents and gifts, but do not use them to their fullest potential.
C. I am riddled by bad luck and find myself in one bad situation after another.
D. I have to work hard just to maintain the status quo.

13. How much time a day do you spend working toward your long-term goal?

A. None
B. Less than twenty minutes per day
C. An hour or more per day
D. You have no long-term goals

14. How frequently do you mistreated, misunderstood, or taken advantage of - in either your personal or professional life?

A. Every day
B. Frequently
C. Occasionally
D. Seldom to never

15. When asked to do something that you have no interest in doing, you are most likely to...

A. Say no with a clear conscience
B. Say no but feel guilty about it
C. Say yes but not follow through
D. Say yes, do it, but feel resentful about it

16. Imagine that your life is a house with many rooms - some you like, some you feel ashamed of. How many people do you allow to see all of your rooms?

A. Nobody
B. One significant person - a spouse, lover, best friend, parent, etc.
C. A small handful of people how me that well
D. There are many people in my life who know me that well

17. When you feel hurt by someone or something, what do you tend to do?

A. Keep it to yourself
B. Reflect, forgive, and move on
C. Confront the situation head-on
D. Talk aobu tit to everyone but the person involved

18. When you get an impulse or an idea about how to improve some aspect of your life, what do you do?

A. Ignore it completely
B. Take a few steps in the right direction but reately see the project though to the finish line
C. Tell yourself that "I'll get to it one of these days"
D. Create a support structure around yourself to ensure that you take action

19. The last time you found yourself with a block of unexpected free time, what did you do?

A. Sqandered it by catalog shopping, watching TV, or surfing the Internet
B. Used the opportunity to move forward on an important project
C. Relaxed and rejuvenated yourself by taking a nap, meditating, or reading
D. Your life is so hectic that you can't recall an occasion when you had an unexpected block of free time

20 . When you make a mistake, what are you most liekly to do?

A. Be gently with yourself and resolve to do things differently in the future
B. Put things in perspective by acknowleding yourself for what you did right
C. Fall into a downward spiral of self-criticism
D. Interpret your misstep as evidence that you are incompetent, and stop trying


CALCULATING YOUR SCORE:

Below, circle which answer you chose for each question.

Question 1:
A=1, B=3, C=5, D=8

Question 2:
A=1, B=3, C=5, D=8

Question 3:
A=5, B=3, C=1, D=0

Question 4:
A=0, B=1, C=3, D=5

Question 5:
A=0, B=1, C=3, D=5

Question 6:
A=0, B=5, C=0, D=3

Question 7:
A=5, B=3, C=1, D=0

Question 8:
A=0, B=1, C=3, D=5

Question 9:
A=0, B=3, C=0, D=5

Question 10:
A=8, B=5, C=3, D=1

Question 11:
A=0, B=3, C=5, D=8

Question 12:
A=0, B=3, C=5, D=3

Question 13:
A=5, B=3, C=0, D=5

Question 14:
A=5, B=3, C=1, D=0

Question 15:
A=0, B=3, C=3, D, 5

Question 16:
A=5, B=3, C=1, D=0

Question 17:
A=5, B=0, C=1, D=5

Question 18:
A=5, B=3, C=3, D=0

Question 19:
A=5, B=0, C=0, D=3

Question 20:
A=0, B=0, C=5, D=5

Total Score = _______________ (Calculate by adding up the answers you circled)

THE SHADOW EFFECT ASSESSMENT:

If you scored 3 -37 points: You are in the neutral zone, which means that you are free (for now) from amny of the internal beliefs and wounds that give rise to destructive bahaviors caused by your shadow. You have high self-esteem, your actions are closely aligned with your values, and you are most likely making great forward progress toward your long-term goals. Keep on loving and listening to yourself.

If you scored 38 - 75 points: You may not be experiencing the full weight and impact of the shadow at this moment, but you are likely expeding a lot of effort to repress and hide parts of yourself and your life that you do not like. The energy you are using to keep things from spinning out of control - whether at work, at home, or with your health and well-being - would be put to better use if it were directed toward acheiving your goals and desires.

If you scored 76 - 112 points: Either you spend a lot of time and energy trying to manage other people's opinions of you, ro you are deeply resigned about the conditions of your life. This is the shadow at work and it paralyzes you from taking corrective actions. If left unchecked, the internal chaos you are experiencing may lead you on a crash course for disaster. The good news, however, is that every act of self-sabotage presents an opportunity to awaken you to what is truly important. Open your heart, explore the shadow, and you'll begin to see how your deepest pain, when digested and understood, is designed to lead you to your greatest destiny.

Shadow work is the work of the heart warrior. If you're ready for more love, more peace, more satisfaction, and more success, visit us at www.TheShadowEffect.com.

Loving Yourself

I'm currently reading "The Healing Handbook, A Spiritual guide to healing yourself and others". I found this book while walking by Coles in our local mall. Anyways after purchasing the book, it sat on my bookshelf for months before I even attempted to pop-it open. This is my second try at reading it and it's not because the book isn't very good - cause it is. It's just it requires a lot discipline and 'time' to preform the required exercises. The book goes through various techniques of healing and meditation and so to properly submerge yourself to these exercises you need alone and quiet time. Not something that runs freely in my home, currently... but working on it! :-)

Anyways I wanted to expose a section of the book that prompted me internally to share with others:

Loving Yourself 

It may sound a rather odd phrase: loving yourself. It may also not sound very spiritual to you. Surely, if you love yourself, you are being selfish and indulgent. Is spirituality not all about giving to others and not concentrating on yourself? In fact, spirituality is all about loving yourself. Many would say until you learn to love yourself, you cannot heal either yourself or others. Loving yourself is also a very emotional issue for a lot of people. It is up to you to be gently with yourself during this chapter and work at the pace which feels right for you. If you become too emotional while doing some of the exercises, you can leave them until a later stage. On the other hand, you may find this area deeply rewarding and illuminating and it may help to clear blocks which you have created in your energies over the years. Clearing blockages does not have to be distressing or difficult. It can be uplifting and leave you feeling absolutely wonderful about yourself and others. 

Have you ever thought about what 'love' really means? Most people only consider the word when it is in relation to someone or something else. They think about it in terms of their relationship with a family member, for example, such as a parent or sibling. They start to question the meaning of love when they embark on an adult, usually sexual, relationship. But how often have you asked yourself what it means to love yourself? Let's look at some of the dictionary definitions of love - 'a deep affection... for someone', 'good will towards others', 'devotion for someone or something.' These seem to add fuel to the idea of love as fundamentally something which relates to others, not to yourself! No wonder so many people grow up believing that to love oneself is somehow unhealthy and narcissistic. 

So let's look at what loving yourself does not mean. It is not about only thinking of yourself all the time. It is not about ego and feeling you are the most important person alive. It is not about feeling superior or arrogant. It is not about spending endless hours in pursuit of what you enjoy without consideration to others. It is not about filling your life with material and financial riches. It is not about preening yourself in front of a mirror constantly. It is not about telling everyone you are a terrific person all the time, while a gnawing doubt eats away at your inside. It is not about pushing people away from you with the excuse that you need no one in your life because you are self-sufficient.  

All the above have nothing to do with loving yourself. Truly loving yourself is a simple unselfish act that comes from deep within. It takes the form of a deep, unshakable sense of knowing that you are perfect just as you are. This is not easy for everyone. It means accepting all those apparently unappealing qualities in yourself that everyone can find if they look hard enough. These can be mundane dislikes, such as being too thin/fat, tall/short, introvert/extrovert, old/young, lazy/over-ambitious, a doormat/too aggressive. The list is endless. Most of us have dissatisfactions about some part of ourselves. Can you honestly look at yourself and say that you accept absolutely everything about yourself, exactly as you are at this moment? Almost everyone finds that hard to do. Basically. loving yourself is about reaching the stage where you truly know that you are prefect as you are. 

It's also more than that. Loving yourself is about knowing your place within the larger scheme of life. This means knowing that the family you were born into or brought up in is the right one for you to have in your life, no matter what your childhood experience may have been. 

Loving yourself means knowing that you have a special, unique part to play in the evolution of life and that you are willing to take part in whatever unfolds for you. You even look forward to the experiences ahead of you, good and bad. In fact, there is no such thing as a 'bad' experience in life; that is only a label we attach to some event whose significance we do not understand; we will look at examples of this as we go along. 

It is only once we love ourselves at these levels that we can truly love others as well. Loving others means also accepting in them qualities we may not like. How many of your friends and family can you say that you love exactly as they are? If you had the choice to change certain qualities in others, would you like to be able to to do that? Very few of us can truly say we would not change a thing about another person. Loving yourself means knowing that everyone else is perfect at whatever stage they are at in their life. 

So let's list some of the benefits of loving yourself which will help clarify the importance of this act. you need to understand that loving yourself is an essential part of holistic health.
These benefits are that:

• You have great self-esteem, knowing you are worthy of every task you set out to accomplish.

• You find it easy to love others and to accept people as they are, because you have already accepted yourself completely as you are.

• You can accept setbacks in your own life and see them as part of a learning curve, rather than punishments for not being a good person.

• You do not rely on others for praise and encouragement because you have your own in-built sense of self-worth.

• You do not blame others for problems in life, because you take responsibility for everything that happens to you.

• You take joy in the accomplishments of others, without envy or resentment.

• You know that everything you do is worthwhile and has a purpose.

• You love all of life.

All the above states are difficult to achieve if you do not love yourself. It is the single, most powerful starting point for all spiritual healing. Loving yourself will render all of the above conditions possible for you. 

Is loving yourself beginning to sound rather daunting? In fact, this is a journey that lasts right through our life. Loving yourself has endless possibilities, for how we view life and for what we put into and get out of it. Life can be as wonderful or as dreadful as you choose, and your attitude to it is relevant to your ability to love yourself.

Wow what a description. When I started thinking about it... I though, "Hummm... how do you really know if you love yourself, or if you are truly 'there'?" With Tara Ward's description, loving myself takes on a whole new concept. I could see myself in some of her bullet points and others where I still need to work on...

As I learn more from this book I hope to share further, until then, take care and continue to pursue the life you want to live by creating it yourself.

In the meantime here a little optimism in action:

Freedom - Acrostic Poem

In the Fall of 2010, I attended a conference where we built together, as a team, an acrostic poem with the word "Freedom"; and we had to use "Freedom" associated words for each of the letters.

Here is my representation, from what I can remember, of the Freedom-Acrostic Poem.

Click to view bigger version.

What does Freedom mean to you, and do you have other words and/or meaning for the letters presented?

The Anger Game (Poem)

Woke up one morning and had these words come out on to paper. They were like dream words that I just needed to put down. ...not saying that it all makes sense - but whatever sometimes, things just come out the way they do for one-reason-or-another? Either way, here they are...

The Anger Game

by Tammy Mathieu

Walking robots

Stalking one another

Trying to out-beat each other

Aiming for the same piece of pie

When one wins

Cause that's how it is

The other just crawls away 

And deep down inside dies

Why - Why must we shallow

To run the same race

The same face, same pace

Are we not - no

No - is a complete sentence

That no one chooses to acknowledge

For fear that well just for fear

Fear is our power

Everything is based on fear

Instead of love

We say we're doing it out of love

But really, truly, look inside and fear is what you'll find

Unleash and let go

Of all that you control

For as long as you keep holding

Your pain will continue and theirs will too

You know who / what I'm talking about 

The fear of loosing the fear of choosing

The fear of not knowing

The fear that consumes you

The fear that controls you

You live it

You feel it

You protect it

You are it... that's the fear

Yup, that's the one

So now what?

Now that you know it's there

That feeling of dispear

...now what, I'm scared

You embrace it

Acknowledge it

Breathe it and then... let it go!

...Release... and return to LOVE

Everyone is scared

That's what we've been taught

That's all we know

That's how we "roll"

Lock your doors

Lock your drawers

Lock your souls

For you life, your love, your happiness needs to hide

Forever behind those doors

Where it's safe, or in the safe...

If your happy there's something wrong

It's not fair

You're not allowed

Who gave your permission

To be so priviledged

The drama, the cries

The stories, the lies

Who, but who would 

Allow you to go there?

Who, but who can allow you

How dare you

Not be the same

How dare you 

You not play the "game"

 It's anger that's who

It's anger at you

Aren't you not just a person

A person of earth

Aren't you not just a person

A person of hurt

How dare you forgive

And go beyond

How can you live

And love this world...

This world that gives you

Water to drink and air to breath

Soil to walk on and things to eat

How dare you be grateful

And learn to let go and allow things

How dare you, How dare you... to flow

How dare you, be without me.

Is Social Media Ruining Students?

Here's an interesting read / learning from OnlineEducation.net:


Via: OnlineEducation.net

Stop, Challenge, and Choose.

Personal Development and exploration always fascinates me - I love learning how my personality,my upbringing, my habits, my beliefs, my assumptions... all of it work together. These synergies all interconnected make me who I am today, right now.

As each moment passes by, I'm absorbing new things - however my mind only keeps what it "believes" I want it to keep; Thus choosing to live conscientiously is initially a challenge since you have to "be awake" continuously to your mind's activity... you have to tell it "yes" or "no" to what's going on around you.

For example - You drive (or ride) to work, typically the same way everyday.

Since you've driven this route, probably hundreds of times, your mind doesn't really pay attention to its 'surroundings' all that much (unless of course there's something completely new or out of the norm). 

You're on autopilot. 

I'm not saying that you're not paying attention to the road per-say - just saying that you might not be noticing as much of what's going on around you. Your brain probably is going to take this time to have you think about what to make for supper; did you lock the door when you left; do you have to pick up anything on your way back home; did you remember to bring your lunch; etc...

Choosing to live 'awake' forces you during 'these' moments to 'come back to reality'. 

Force yourself to not go into autopilot-mode and to live 'in the now'.

Take a look around you and give appreciation to everything...

Be thankful that your alive.

Be thankful that you have a job.

Be thankful that you have a way to get to work.

Be thankful of what you have.

Be thankful that you're able to see, hear, taste and speak.

Be thankful that you're conscientious enough to be grateful for this moment.

We live in a world that's so fast-pace and perfection-oriented. We want everything yesterday and we want the latest and greatest in perfect condition and it better-be better then my neighbours'! 

...all this and for what? Who are we trying to "beat", who we trying to please?

Choosing to live a simpler life, acknowledging your current state and be grateful for each passing moment is the greatest success of life. You are where you are supposed to be, right now; doing exactly what you are meant to be doing, right now. This is where you'll learn what you need to know, right now.

Each moment is a new moment. It's a new time. It's a new experience. 

You can make each of these moments new, again - as long as you stay 'awake' to each and every moment granted to you. I'm not saying this is easy - I'm saying that this is your challenge. 

“I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy – I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.” – Art Willams

Choosing to make each moment YOUR moment; by not allowing your mind to rob you of them and set you on autopilot, will have you gain a whole new perspective of time, of life. 

When you sit on your couch in the evening and feel like you've accomplished nothing - start jotting down your daily activities and you'll come to realize that you did accomplish a lot. 

Gain new appreciations for your moments by allowing yourself the time to be grateful for them. 

Saying "Thank You" repeatedly out loud tells your brain that, "This IS ok - I am allowed to enjoy this moment and not have to think about what needs to get done..."

How can you enjoy moments, this moment, if you don't 'give' yourself permission to enjoy them?

Where is this guilt coming from? Why am I not allowed to do nothing, to think about nothing...

Does this mean I'm unworthy? I'm a slacker? I don't deserve this time and if I take it, it'll be time wasted...

Who is that voice? 

In the book Play to Win! by Larry Wilson & Hersch Wilson - 

Play to Win!

Larry Wilson, Hers...

the authors explains:

"...Stop, Challenge, and Choose is the fundamental skill to use to stay on plan. When you do not feel positive (or at least neutral) about where you are going or you are being pulled backwards, stop and ask yourself: Is this choice, is this feeling, helping me or hurting me in my pursuit toward a goal or action plan? Challenge your irrational thinking. Choose to stay on course.

Persistence is no doubt one of the most valuable attributes in making progress toward a goal. Stop, Challenge, and Choose is a tool of persistence. It is best used to intervene as we lose focus on our plan or to help us assure that one of the eighty-three problems doesn't become a barrier that is impossible to cross.

A Strategy to change. The powerful incantation "I choose". A commitment to do whatever it takes. Under the laws of life in our universe, this is how we create the highest probability of creating the results we want. It might be difficult, but it is rarely impossible. Don't let difficulty stop you, because it is from doing difficult things that we truly grow. It is from doing difficult things that we call out our ability to play to win." 

Stop, Challenge and Choose.

Stop listening to your autopilot 'voice'. That voice is your sub-conscience mind bringing forward to you past "files" that it thinks you should believe / listen to. These "files" are things that you've always done; things that have happened around you that you've come to accept; things that you (believe / feel / think) are right (or used to be right?); etc... all of these "files" are stored somewhere and come out when opportunities present themselves. 

So when you're taking a shower you have a preference as to how you like to wash your hair - this had to have come from somewhere, right? 

When you go to bed you might have a routine or preferred side or something - again this had to have come from somewhere...

All of these 'patterns' are your mind's way of confirming it's "files". When you keep doing the same things you are programming your mind in believing what you are doing is right. So that's where / when you do something different, out of pattern, your entire being "feels wrong" - this is because you're not following your mind's pattern of 'rights'. It may or may not be right or wrong but just because it's out of the ordinary, it just feels wrong. 

Habits / Patterns aren't necessarily good or bad - they're just ways for us to do things 'quicker' and/or provide us with some type of 'comfort' (a known way). "Just fits me". "Just feels right." "Just because." "I can't change." "I'm too scared."

Choosing to live 'awake' has you awaken each of these habits/pattern moments and ask yourself:

Why am I doing this? 

Do I really need to do this (this way)? 

Is this the only way?

What would happen if I changed this?

This is called: Stop.

You've stopped your autopilot-mode and have chosen to re-evaluate your mind "file" in regards to this particular habit/pattern. Is this "file" in my mind, right or wrong? Do I want to change it?

Several of these questions and "habit" shifting techniques are examined in Dr. Wayne Dyer's book Excuses Begone!

Excuses Begone!

Wayne Dyer

Now you are ready to work: Challenge.

Where does this "file" come from? 

Is it something I learnt? Does it even provide any value?

What is it that I think / feel about this habit / pattern?

Why do I think / feel this way about (it)?

Can I, Should I, be changing this way of thinking / feeling?

And then comes the next step: Choose.

Here you get to conscientiously choose what YOU want to "file" vs. having your mind auto-pickup what it "thinks/believes" you want it to record. And just like any other habit/pattern this will require some conscientious awakening and willpower since you are re-writing your brain's mental notes.

All-in-all countless studies and experiments have proven these basic strategies to work. 

You are in complete control of your life and CAN determine your outcomes, as long as you CHOOSE to "stay awake" to life's journey (every moment) and continuously challenge your choices.

Just because I choose to do something different today (now) doesn't mean that in 2 years from now it'll be the same right choice for me then... When I'm there (in the future) I'll know better what'll be best for me. 

If I choose to use-up my now time thinking about my future, then I'm NOT now living my now; I'm auto-piloting.

What good am I to my now surroundings if I'm too busy preparing for my tomorrow? 

I'm missing out on my now.

So how are YOU being reflected throughout the universe?

If I'm self-indulging for my future, what mentor-ship role am I providing to my surroundings?

...Could I be programming my children's minds to start auto-piloting?

"...Live life at a fast-pace and always try to be perfect.Continuously prepare for tomorrow cause today is too late - it's almost over.Don't bother with anyone or anything cause they're not worth it.Don't give back - and take whatever you can - cause you deserve everything, they owe you.Everyone owes you. No one understands and don't even bother trying to explain things to them - they won't t get it.."

Wow, isn't that a nasty message to add to your mental notes.

Is this what you truly believe to be true?

...I didn't think so -

Instead, how about we record in our minds:

"Live life now. Life is happening now.Look around you and say 'Thank You' for everything, for everyone....Be grateful for what you have and for who you are - right now, at this very moment.

Nothing will ever be perfect - because you are already perfect. You're as perfect as you need to be today, right now.

Observe what goes on around you, meanwhile in your mind, stay awake and conscientiously CHOOSE what to "keep" and what to "reject" - with regards to everything happening around you. Don't allow your mind to do this for you. Just make sure to record "what's right for you" in YOUR mind.[...cause whatever is happening COULD be RIGHT in someone else's mind (for them)...This is where you'll STOP, and ask yourself those questions - then Challenge your responses and finally CHOOSE which mental notes you wish to record in your "files". Take Control of your life.]

Decide to be the change you want to see in the world and take action on those changes. Don't just be, just because. 

You were important enough to be given life - and you made it until now...that's because you have a purpose, you are the purpose. 
Give back to life what it's given you - Love & Faith.Life loves you for who you are and has complete Faith in you - You can do this!"

Every morning when you wake up and need that little boost of inspiration - 

reach for this short poem by Emily Matthews, 

stand in front of a mirror and read out loud to yourself:

For a Special Friend

Lord bless my friend for all the things she takes the time to do,

The thoughtfulness she puts behind each act of kindness, too.

Bless her for the loving way she brightens many days

With caring and encouragement, and compliments and praise.

Bless her for her faith in me, her words that help me grow -

For being just the dearest friend I think I'll ever know.

~ Emily Matthews ~

Allow yourself to be loved, to feel love, and to love - Full Circle.

...and make sure to include the: love yourself in there too!
What goes around, comes around. Acceptance is key.

Myers-Briggs - What's Your Type?

Most people, at some point or another, reach a point where they're unsure as to what line-of-work / career path they should pursue. Now-a-days there are various tests, quizzes, heck probably blood-type indicators that will help direct you in some manner... either way choosing a line-of-work / career path isn't something you need to set in stone. Like most other activities (example: sports; fitness program; hobby classes; etc...) it's a "try it out and see if you like it" dabble - although with some career path requiring education first-hand, some of these 'dabbles' might be a little-costly if it turns out that this isn't something you 'see yourself doing' for an extended period of time... hence why a majority of individuals choose to attempt some form of 'testing' to see if their instincts are in-sync with some of the testing results.

And this is where the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) assessment comes in to play.
According to Wikipedia:

"As the MBTI Manual states, the indicator "is designed to implement a theory; therefore the theory must be understood to understand the MBTI".
Fundamental to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is the theory of psychological type as originally developed by Carl Jung. Jung proposed the existence of two dichotomous pairs of cognitive functions:

• The "rational" (judging) functions: thinking and feeling

• The "irrational" (perceiving) functions: sensing and intuition

Jung went on to suggest that these functions are expressed in either an introverted or extraverted form. From Jung's original concepts, Briggs and Myers developed their own theory of psychological type, described below, on which the MBTI is based."

MBTI has a grouping of four opposite pairs, or dichotomies (as some call them), with each of these four groupings providing four dichotomies within each, thus resulting with 16 possible psychological types. Typically

Dichotomies 

Extraversion (E) - (I) Introversion 

   Sensing (S) - (N) Intuition 

Thinking (T) - (F) Feeling 

    Judgment (J) - (P) Perception

"Note that the terms used for each dichotomy have specific technical meanings relating to the MBTI which differ from their everyday usage. For example, people who prefer judgment over perception are not necessarily more judgmental or less perceptive. Nor does the MBTI instrument measure aptitude; it simply indicates for one preference over another.^[17]:3 Someone reporting a high score for extraversion over introversion cannot be correctly described as more extraverted: they simply have a clear preference." 

"According to Myers and Briggs, people use all four cognitive functions. However, one function is generally used in a more conscious and confident way. This dominant function is supported by the secondary (auxiliary) function, and to a lesser degree the tertiary function. The fourth and least conscious function is always the opposite of the dominant function. Myers called this inferior function the shadow.

The four functions operate in conjunction with the attitudes (extraversion and introversion). Each function is used in either an extraverted or introverted way. A person whose dominant function is extraverted intuition, for example, uses intuition very differently from someone whose dominant function is introverted intuition."

The Sixteen Types are as follows:
ISTJ
ISFJ
INFJ
INTJ
ISTP
ISFP
INFP
INTP
ESTP
ESFP
ENFP
ENTP
ESTJ
ESFJ
ENFJ
ENTJ

Variations on existing testing methods and/or enhancement to already existing testings are continuously popping-up and keep evolving.

To learn more about Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) visit Wikipedia's page of references:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator or visit The Myers & Briggs Foundation website:
http://www.myersbriggs.org/.

Here are some web-links where (it seems like) FREE testing is available - however it is always recommended that you seek the assistance of trained professionals when you are ready to pursue this testing seriously.
But in the meantime, if you're looking just for fun - try these out - they're not full-fledge 'real' testing but it'll give you an overall general idea of what you could expect:

Personality Pathways: Myers Briggs Code Cryptic
HumanMetrics: Jung Typology Test (1) | Jung Typology Test (2)
Team Technology: Myers Briggs Personality Type
Sonja Elen Kisa: Personality Test

What's Your Generational Scope?

I believe that in order for you to appreciate life you have to continuously keep learning/growing.

Learning about generational differences and how each generation sees things helps us understand one-another.



What generation are you?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generation

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_generations

Now these above links are simply examples of the generational groupings.

There are several other sites/references that categorize the years slightly different -

which one is right? Well which ever you see yourself in (describes you) then I would think you could categorize yourself within that generation title.

Questions that came to my mind are things like:

How does being from a different generation affect us/others?
Is being born in a different generation automatically make you think different?
Having parents of different generations; how does this affect your relationships?

Interesting Generation Articles:

Generation X: Stepping up to the Leadership Plate:
http://www.cio.com/article/28475/Generation_X_Stepping_Up_to_the_Leadership_Plate

Continued: Leadership and Generation X:
http://www.cio.com/article/103503/Leadership_and_Generation_X

Management Techniques for Bringing Out the Best in Generation Y:
http://www.cio.com/article/149053

What you need to know about mentoring the next Generation:
http://www.abanet.org/lpm/lpt/articles/mgt08044.html

The MySpace Generation:
http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/05_50/b3963001.htm

What comes after Generation X?:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/07/05/AR2008070501599.html


What are your thoughts - do you have generation articles you wish to share?

Rule Your Online Presence With Awareness

Ok so let's talk/learn a little about online presence.
If you want to play the game you better make sure to know the rules.

This post is similar to one I've discussed before: Social Networking: Points to Ponder.

Some people are scared of technology and live off the "bad-news" stuff they hear.

Here's a little Technology Humour: Learn to Appreciate Technology :-)



Yes I do agree that the world isn't a perfect place.
Yes I do agree that sometimes things happen because didn't take the proper precautions (security settings; privacy settings; etc.).
Yes I do agree that sometimes other people do "non-smart" things (online) and that affects everyone else's presence (pictures being tagged of you; people saying stuff about you online; people requesting to being your friend; etc.).

Whatever the case maybe - you need to know your facts so that you don't get "surprised" with stuff because you didn't take the time to learn about them.

Again - learning the rules enables you to keep playing the game, otherwise you might get 'outted' sooner then expected and/or get 'hurt' in the long run.



If you don't want to take the time to learn then maybe you shouldn't be playing or when you do get "hurt" or "victimized" you can't say you didn't know - there's too much out there to NOT know.
Obviously you can't know everything but you need to know the basics.

Example - you know your house needs a door.
Otherwise anyone and/or anything can get in: people, insects, raccoons, bears!... etc.
Common sense, you need a door.

a) You are advised to lock your door - precautions.
b) You could lock your door to everything with FBI security.
c) You could kinda lock your door when you need to.
d) You could share your lock (keys) with people you know/love.
e) You never lock your door and post it on Twitter! -- duh?
f) You could not always lock your door and let people you trust know (when needed).
Whatever you choose to do, in the end, it was your choice, right?

So how does this relate to your online presence?
Let's take the above list and apply it electronically:

a) Well you could leave everything open - like why even have a password?
Or have a password of (nothing - blank); or use your name; your kid(s) name(s); your spouse's name; your street name; your phone number; etc... these are the first things a hacker (or someone you know) will try to use (most common passwords).

b) You should use this type of FBI security for your online banking; credit cards; etc.
This is when it takes you 15min to login to something because you've got 15 character passwords with 5 secret questions and then write all of your stuff in encrypted codes.
[If this sounds like you then you should be working for our government; national security; or even anti-piracy companies; etc. Get paid big for what you excel in!! ;-) ]

c) Kinda lock things when you need to - meaning: If I have a personal online account you have it locked up with appropriate measures (ex. Facebook; email - Hotmail; etc.) but for things like Picnic (photo editing site) or stuff like submitting your photos to 'Walmart' for printing -- things like that you could share. Common sense would tell you that you should be using the same 'types' of passwords for Picnic and Email or Walmart photos and Facebook since you wouldn't mind sharing your account (if you had to) to have someone else send pictures to Walmart vs sharing with someone your Facebook or Email account -- these are more personalized thus have more information in them.


Choose your battles: If someone hacked your Twitter account would you 'really care'? vs. If someone hacked (accessed without permission) your Email or Facebook account? [Even if you have nothing to hide it's still personal invasion.]

d) This one kinda blends-in with c) above.
Sharing passwords with people you trust.
Examples: picture editing sites; partnered email accounts (you both are aware that you both can see everything); Walmart photo printing studio (share with your grandmother because she doesn't have a computer and comes over to do this with you); etc.

e) Then there's the all is open and advertized scenario.
If everyone has access to see everything about you online and you help them get this information by sending them reminders and invitations then when something happens you only have you to blame - because eventually it will happen. It's called Karma.

If you leave out of town and don't make arrangements to have your house supervised and then go and post on Twitter and Facebook that you're gone for a week - Hello!? Open invitation to your house.

You don't lock your accounts online; people have your home address (cause you just really needed to post it out to the world) and even have your security access code for the garage door your never lock (cause one night when you were drunk you decided it would be funny to post that out to everyone).
There's being Responsible... and then there's using Common Sense... and then there's just not giving a 'Hoot'!

f) And this one again falls under c) & d) - trusting those you know...

So if I'm posting pictures on my Facebook about a family event I will choose to limit who can access this album of pictures because just because you are in my friends' list doesn't mean you should see my personal family moments.

If I'm posting pictures about a cool concert I was at - then ya I might share it with more people then normally because hey maybe they were there; or maybe they wanted to be there; or whatever they can see the same pictures (or close to it) in the newspapers.

Know what to share and with whom.

Know your limitations too - obviously I would never post anything I wouldn't want anyone to accidently see.
I don't care what it is. If you took pictures of your (whatever - armpit) and are embarrased about it, I don't care what type of security you put on your account, why are you posting them in the first place?

I wouldn't even email them cause someone could (and probably will) just forward the picture to others afterwards anyways.

Judgement: use it = Common Sense. If you don't have it then get offline!! ;-)

Wow that was alot of information sharing / opinion / feedback on mybehalf.

And,  yes, I know that most of you already know this stuff and do this stuff but sometimes the mind (your subconcious) needs reminders / details.

So now to some interesting articles:

Google has a free service called Google Alerts that can be set up so that every time your name (or what you want it to search for you) is newly mentioned online, the link to it is emailed to you.

 http://www.google.com/alerts?f=0&hl=en&gl=us

So what's out there - Social Networking Site?:
http://www.itbusiness.ca/it/client/en/home/News.asp?id=47295

How does haveing a Facebook/MySpace/LinkIn/etc. account affect your work? Or even getting hired?:
http://blogs.techrepublic.com.com/career/?p=922
Another article: http://blogs.techrepublic.com.com/career/?p=338
Another work-related article: http://www.itbusinessedge.com/cm/blogs/all/lack-of-facebook-access-makes-you-want-to-quit-grow-up-punks/?cs=11630

Seven Social Network Security Mistakes You Can't Afford to Make:
http://www.itbusiness.ca/it/client/en/home/News.asp?id=53779

Five Formidable Facebook Frauds and how to protect yourself:
http://www.itbusiness.ca/it/client/en/home/News.asp?id=52239

How much do your friends really need to know at all times (immediately)?
http://blogs.zdnet.com/feeds/?p=147&tag=nl.e539

Social Networking web links:

Basically Speaking: Social Networking

Social Networking in Canada

The Internet Survival Guide for Parents: Social Networking

Lack of Facebook Access Makes You Want to Quit? Grow up, Punks

Are you using your work email or personal email when registering?

How secure is your social network site?

What to post or not to post…

Online social networks go to work

Bosses Warm Up to Social Networking on Company Time

Facing up to Facebook

And remember:

“Whatever your mission – whether it be pass-time or business focused – remember that your identity governs this tool’s existence. Your input generates your output. Social Networking is work.”

Are You Right-Brained Centred? What Are Your Motivators?

What motivates you and why?
...and would incentives motivate you?



Here is the author / speaker Dan Pink, talking with Oprah Winfrey via her SoulSeries radio talk show:

Part 1:


Part 2:


To view more videos from Dan Pink visit: http://www.danpink.com/video

Here is Dan Pink with his TED idea on the surprising science of motivation:

How Is the Web Changing The World?

A colleague of mine recommended that I view the BBC Documentary entitled The Virtual Revolution. It took me sometime before I was able to set some time aside to sit back and take time to view this - and wow was I amazed! This master piece of research provides various ins & outs viewpoints of the World Wide Web - some of which I didn't even know about, and I'm an Information Technologist (IT) Professional.

It's amazing and wonderful how so many professions need to be combined together to really bring forward the realities and truths about whatever subject is chosen. Here the BBC did just that - it brought together: researchers; creators; politicians; activists; and so many more - all together to collaborate their thoughts and opinions on what exactly is the World Wide Web (www) and how it's changing the world.

Enjoy the learning!

Here's a quick peek at some of the available videos from the documentary - to learn more view the links below.

These video-series are from Episode 1 of the Documentary:

Programme 1: The great levelling?

The wonder and walls of Wikipedia; the blogger media revolution; who really has power on the web? Is it the online crowd or the 'gatekeepers'? 


Episode 1 - Part 1:


Episode 1 - Part 2:


Episode 1 - Part 3:


Episode 1 - Part 4:


Episode 1 - Part 5:


Episode 1 - Part 6:


Episode 2 of the documentary can be viewed here:
Programme 2: Enemy of the state?
As the web transcends the barriers of the physical world the orthodox view is that the nation state will inevitably wither as a porous web of hyperlinks conquers the globe. 

Videos:
Episode 2 - Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFeJaEhUGs8
Episode 2 - Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4cvwif1AGQ
Episode 2 - Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqesGryXoo4
Episode 2 - Part 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=APTtOVTm_Jc
Episode 2 - Part 5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yj4OtguOH9E
Episode 2 - Part 6: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sH4HHiMNko

Episode 3 of the documentary can be viewed here:

Programme 3: The cost of free

Free service, limitless information, endless opportunity for the user... the web seems to defy all the laws of economics. But are we all aware of how much we are trading our privacy for a free web?  

Videos:

Episode 3 - Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5ShMZ0Xy2Q

Episode 3 - Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qr90i9q7iXI

Episode 3 - Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECLBQfLwD0s

Episode 3 - Part 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jg5E9Y5rH5I

Episode 3 - Part 5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMo2B4ILzik

Episode 3 - Part 6: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lHrhLgO86zo

Episode 4 of the documentary can be viewed here:

Programme 4: Homo interneticus?

Are we empowered, connected and enlightened with the worlds knowledge our finger tips? Is the web really changing us- the way we think, behave, and relate to each other.

Videos:

Episode 4 - Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5v4q9_cVCY

Episode 4 - Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkxdn7LsQH0

Episode 4 - Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-9JVI8pCfQ

Episode 4 - Part 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9u03HeXOK_Y

Episode 4 - Part 5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P15WqDKlvwo

Episode 4 - Part 6: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RZ218o7AjI

Below is an explanation as to how you can navigate the BBC Documentary in 3D online and get a whole-lot more knowledge out of your experience:



To experience this 3D view - visit this section of the site: http://www.bbc.co.uk/virtualrevolution/3dexplorer_start.shtml

The Lemming Dilemma

Reading this wonderful short fable of The Lemming Dilemma, has allowed me to better understand why people need to set themselves a life-vision and purpose.

Prior to reading this, my mind knew based on several other readings that "ya, ya, ya... I know I need to set myself some goals...", these are already in my head, "I know what they are... kind-of. That's all that really counts, right?!"

However once I finished reading this book, by David Hutchens, my mind started racing 100 miles/hour trying to established what IS my purpose and vision for MY life - what zest consumes me? And what is really in my 'head'... and is this where I'm heading?


Personal mastery is "the ability to consistently create the results you want in life with an economy of means.", David Hutchens continues with "Practitioners of personal mastery are constantly clarifying their sense of their own unique contribution to the world, continually growing, and, intentionally or not, creating results that elevate the world and people around them."

Personal mastery is a life-long journey; here are just-some of the key self-questions the author provides:
- Who are you?
- Why do you exist?
- What is your purpose in the world?
- What is it you wish to create?
- Why do some people expend much effort but produce so few desirable results in their lives?


I'm not a very good jumper - cause like 'Emmy', I ask too many questions?
I'm also not a good non-jumper / protester - since like 'Emmy' I see this as focusing on the negative side of things.

And so like 'Emmy', the lemming, I ponder and ask: What is it that I'm looking for and why can't I just "be" like most?

Why doesn't my mind just pursue the compliant role of "I'll do my job because the boss said so"?

...This is because -- my spirit, my character, my 'me' -- lives the enrolled role of "I'm here because I believe in what I am doing and I care enough about it to make it happen."