Tips for Time-Stressed Families

Families today are definitely "time-stressed." It seems like there are never enough hours in the day and you keep getting asked to do more with less. First and foremost, remember to keep your life in perspective and try to "live in" and enjoy the moment. If you are too busy worrying about rushing to your next activity or appointment, you'll miss out on "the now." 

TIPS TO HELP YOU AND YOUR FAMILY COPE WITH MULTIPLE PRIORITIES

DEVELOP A FAMILY CALENDAR 

Using a family calendar to keep track of activities and chores can keep everyone in the family on track and help prevent missed appointments, surprises or oversights. Encourage all family members, including young children, to get in the habit of noting important events, activities or deadlines on the calendar. Use a large erasable white board or a large paper calendar that offers enough space to write activities and events clearly. The calendar can be used to note:

• Menus
• Projects
• Appointments (doctor, dentist, orthodontist, etc.), teacher meetings, etc.
• School holidays and PD/PA days (Professional Development)
• Birthdays and birthday parties
• Community meetings
• Athletic events (e.g. hockey, softball practice, dance class, etc.)
• Holidays
• Social events
• Work commitments (e.g. if a parent is away on business or at a conference)

Before discarding or erasing the calendar each month, determine what can be eliminated or what is taking more time than originally planned. 

ESTABLISH ROUTINES

Although your family is already following a type of routine out of necessity, it might be time to consider establishing a slightly more structured set of routines to follow. Routines can help us schedule and complete all of the many tasks involved in our day-to-day lives. They can provide a sense of order and predictability and can also help forge stronger family bonds. Here are a few examples of family routines:

Preparing for mornings: Make mornings more enjoyable by getting into the habit of preparing the night before for the morning rush. For example, after dinner, prepare lunches and set the breakfast table. Encourage children to prepare their backpacks and bathe the night before. Select your own and your children's clothes before going to bed.

Dinner routines: Hopefully, dinner is one time when all or most of the family gets together. Make it a real "family affair" by getting older children involved in meal preparation (and planning) and having younger children set and clear the table. Turn off the radio or TV and put aside the newspaper so that you can all enjoy each other's company. Establish some dinnertime family traditions around story telling or sharing of the day's funniest moments.

Routines for children: Children thrive with a certain amount of structure. By helping children develop their own routines, you can also help them build self-esteem, self-discipline and independence. Encourage them to develop a bedtime routine that includes self-care (brushing teeth, bathing, etc.), preparation for the next day and bedtime reading. Establish a set of weekly chores or errands (taking out garbage, cutting grass, raking leaves, sorting laundry, etc.) for which they are responsible.

PLAN AHEAD:

• Make a weekly meal plan and freeze meals ahead of time. Make double portions of the family's favourite dishes. Make and freeze sandwiches and other lunches and take them out at breakfast time so they will thaw by lunch.
• Buy birthday, anniversary and special events cards and gifts in advance, to prevent last-minute gift hunting and wrapping.
• Have back-up plans for after-school or daycare. Keep phone numbers of your children's school friends at work so you can call if you need back-up for pick-up at school or daycare in the event of an emergency.
• Find and use support systems - car pool with neighbours or other parents; create a schedule of reciprocal pick-up at the day care or at sports activities and parties as well as reciprocal babysitting.

SIMPLIFY YOUR LIFE:

• Consolidate bill paying. Stash bills in one place when they arrive. Pick a time each month to sort and pay bills that are due.
• Set realistic standards for housework. Learn to delegate tasks and chores to your partner and children. Save time by combining chores with regular routines -- for example, after showering, always wipe the shower stall/tiles and mop up around the sink each night at bedtime. Create one central spot for laundry and ask each family member to put his or her dirty laundry in that designated spot/receptacle.
• Keep meals simple - especially during busy times. Nutritious meals don't have to be complicated or gourmet. On busy nights, soup, sandwich and fruit can suffice. Get children involved in selecting lunch foods and in preparing their lunches.
• Choose easy-care clothing for yourself and your family. This will cut down on trips to the dry cleaners as well as laundry and ironing.
• Review the number of after-school, evening or weekend activities that your family participates in and determine whether these can be reduced in favour of rest or at-home time.

USE OUTSIDE SERVICES:

If feasible, use outside services and/or hire a high school student to help with:

• House cleaning
• Grass cutting and gardening
• Snow shovelling
• Car washing and maintenance
• Pet care   
  
  
  For more information or to arrange an appointment 
  for confidential counselling, contact FGIworld,
  your EAP/EFAP provider, (24 hours-a-day/7days-a-week) at:
  1-800-268-5211 (English)

   1-800-363-3872 (en français)

What is Stress?

Stress is a word we all hear - or maybe even use - every day. It's worth giving some thought to what it really means, so that we can actually prevent, reduce or cope with it. 

Technically, stress is a physical or emotional reaction to an event or situation that we find demanding. When something happens, we automatically evaluate it to determine how it makes us feel - annoyed, overwhelmed, upset, excited or threatened - and what we can do about it. If we decide that the demands of a situation outweigh our coping skills, we are likely to unconsciously label it 'stressful' and react with the classic stress response. 

Tips and Tools You Can Use

Stress can be a healthy way of enhancing performance or an unhealthy drain on physical and mental resources. The bottom line is that stress is normal, inevitable and - depending on your awareness of what triggers the stress response in you and how you handle it - manageable. Here are some great tips to help you understand stress and the effects it can have: 

The stress response

• Your body's first reaction to stress is often called the 'fight or flight' response. This causes a rush of adrenaline.
• During this stage, your body mobilizes its resources to respond to the stress that it perceives, readying the energy stores required for 'fight or flight'.
• If there is no relief from the stressors that caused the initial response, your body will start releasing stored sugars and fats.
• If the situation continues without resolution, your body's energy reserves can become depleted.
• Physical reactions include muscle tension, insomnia, a racing pulse and a knot in the stomach. Stress levels may also contribute to heart disease and stroke.
• Many people also have emotional and behavioural responses layered on top. These can include overeating, drinking excessively, withdrawal and depression.
• Anxiety vs stress

Different stress for different folks

• What you personally find stressful depends on who you are and what kind of coping skills you have.
• Stress-provoking situations can range from minor daily hassles to major life events - and not all of them are negative.
• Traffic jams, deadlines and disagreements may create irritating stress, but getting married or receiving a promotion are wonderful experiences that can also be stressful.
• Losing your job or dealing with the death of a loved one are among the greatest stressors that we face.
• Understanding balance

Knowing when you're under stress

• It's important to recognize the signs of unhealthy responses to stress that signal it's time to do something about it. Each of us has different warning signs and symptoms, which can include the following symptoms.
• Irritability.
• Frequent complaining, blaming or criticizing.
• Difficulty in falling and/or staying asleep.
• Headaches, back pain, upset stomach, frequent colds or flu.
• Difficulty concentrating.
• Lack of motivation.

Dealing with stress

• There is no single, 'right way' of coping with stress. You need to figure out what works best for you, given your personality, temperament and your work and family situation.
• Learn to recognize your own stress symptoms.
• Look at your lifestyle and see what, if anything, can be changed.
• If change is possible, do it! Learn to accept and manage what cannot be changed.
• Reflect whether life could be simplified. Do your children really need to be at activities every night? Cut back to favourite pursuits and enjoy some 'down time' at home with your children.
• Recognize that you can't do everything. Learn to say 'No'.
• Prioritize tasks that must be done. Divide each task into manageable stages.
• Delegate or eliminate tasks that aren't essential.
• Getting back to basics
• Time-stressed - simplify your life
• Creating an action plan to achieve balance

Follow a healthy lifestyle

• Use relaxation techniques to help reduce the effects of stress. Try yoga, meditation or deep breathing.
• Exercise is one of the most effective stress remedies of all.
• Eat a healthy diet and get plenty of rest and sleep. Make time for yourself in your schedule.
• Have fun sometimes with family and/or friends - it's a great way to regenerate the energy you need for life's challenges.
• Healthy lifestyle
• Emotional health - do I have it?

Helpful Resources

Your great balancing act - tools and advice
(http://www.chatelaine.com/article.jsp?page=health&cid=661127)

Simple things you can do today to control stress
(http://stress.about.com/library/weekly/aa112600a.htm)

Finance Review Tips

Wouldn’t it be nice to have had a “Money Management” class in school? Instead ‘trial and error’ has become our ‘lessons learned’. Money can cause enormous stress as we try to clear up bills, debts and try to save some money for the future… which only ends-up paying off our bills and debts! Understanding budgeting is the key and it’s easier than most expect. 

Tips and Tools to Use 

Step 1: Identify income and expenses

Step 2: Break down your expenses into (daily, weekly, bi-weekly or monthly):

a)    “Fixed payments” such as rent, mortgage, loan payments, insurances, etc.

b)    “Variable expenses” that can be controlled, including gifts, entertainment, travel, food, clothing, etc.

c)    “Pocket-change expenses” such as snacks, newspapers, spontaneous small purchases, coffee, etc. (These add up fast!)

Step 3: Assessing the situation 

a)    Sum up all income sources such as take home pay, pensions, child support, alimony, rental income, etc.

b)    Sum up all “fixed payments” expenses

c)    Sum up all “variable expenses”

d)     Sum up your daily “pocket-change expenses”

e)      Add savings and emergency amount

Step 4: Balancing income and expenses

a)    Compare your expenses to your income.

b)    If you need to trim your budget, clearly identify the amount needed.

c)    If you notice a significant imbalance, you might want to review your budget with a credit counsellor or financial advisor.

 Step 5: Trimming expenses

Where to start? I have too many expenses and not enough money!

a)    “Fixed payments”: No one thinks about trimming these payments because of their importance. But savings are occasionally possible with your fixed payments by doing your research: such as better mortgage rates, loan consolidation, etc.

b)    “Variable expenses”: split your list into ‘needs’ such as food, clothing and utilities, etc. and then a list of ‘wants’ such as entertainment, hobbies, travel, etc.

c)    “Pocket-change expenses”: consider car pooling, make your own coffee “to-go”, bring a lunch, borrow a newspaper or read the on-line news, etc.

d)    Set realistic goals: You need to allow yourself small treats. You don’t want to set too harsh a budget – this will only cause you to give up.

Step 6: Savings and Emergencies

a)    Here are some tips for savings:

a.    Saving funds are important, try cutting from your ‘wants’ before cutting from your ‘savings and emergencies’ budget.

b.    Consider emergencies and savings as part of your ‘needs’ budget.

c.    An automated suggestion would be to have payroll deductions deposited into a savings account.

Sources:

How to handle your debt load - Manage Debt Step by Step (http://moneycentral.msn.com/articles/smartbuy/debt/contents.asp)

What Debt To Pay Off First (http://www.bankrate.com/dotp/news/cc/19980713.asp)

Household budget form (http://www.ourfamilyplace.com/budget1.html)

How to budget (http://www.bankrate.com/dotp/news/advice/20000511b.asp?keyword=)

Money Saving Tips (http://www.ourfamilyplace.com/saving.html)

10 Tips to Make Work Fun

The below is taken from a PDF I found somewhere, I can't even recall where I came from or who provided it to me... either way, the tips shared by Vera Held are Great Reminders to keeping us on track when working. ...sometimes we create our own "drama" by not sticking to the basics.

As always I am willing to give credit where credit is due - if you know who authored the below content, please let me know so that I can reference them. Thank you!

 Ten tips to make work fun

by Vera Held (website: http://www.veraheld.com/index.htm)

Remember the truism: all work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy?

Work can be fun. It's supposed to be an inspired, passionate representative of who you are and what you have to offer skill-wise, talent-wise and personality-wise.

Here are ten tips to make your job more pleasant, more joyful, more fulfilling and ultimately, more fun.

1. Stick to your agenda

Don't get caught up in anyone else's agenda. Doing so will only drain your energy and, therefore, your fun potential.

2. Enjoy all the little moments

Share a morning coffee with a colleague. Laugh over a slight error you made. Try a new restaurant at lunch. Recognize the lighter moments of your day and enjoy them.

3. Be spontaneous

There's a time to stick to your "to do" list and a time to break away. Find ten minutes to sit-in on an exciting project that you’re not assigned to. Take five minutes to read an interesting feature article in your field. These diversions provide a welcome break from your routine.

4. Stay curious

No matter what the situation or project, always ask yourself: "Is there something new here for me to learn?"

5. Get physical

Move around. Stretch. Build in a short walk at lunch. This will help you to stay energized throughout the day.

6. Drink

Keeping a bottle of water at your desk will keep you hydrated and thinking clearly. Aim for eight glasses a day.

7. Think outside the box

Always ask yourself: can I do this a different way? Will it spawn different results if I do?

8. Maintain your interest

Don't allow yourself to feel stuck for too long or it will wear you down. If your job no longer interests you, consider a different career path. Everyone needs a paycheque but there are many ways to get one.

9. Be creative

Try a new idea. Do something you've never done before. Work with a new colleague. Explore. Challenge and test yourself.

10. Don’t sweat the small stuff

Take work seriously but always in conjunction with life as a whole. When something goes wrong, ask yourself: "Is this is a matter of life or death?" If the answer is "No" (and it is 99 per cent of the time) don't panic.

Vera Held, M.Ed. is a coach, speaker, facilitator, writer and the author of the Canadian business best-seller "How Not to Take It Personally." You can reach Vera at (416) 785-3556 or by email at vheld@wwonline.com.

 

MochaSofa, March 2002

The Answer Is You - Michael Benard Beckwith (HayHouseRadio)

I was fortunate to catch this “radio-show” over lunch yesterday – it’s about an hour long.

Here are a few highlights I took-in as notes:

…You no longer look into getting something from the world because you already have everything within you, as this living information.

That is of course activated by the conditions that you create – through your intensions, spiritual practice, through your moods, projections of best-case scenarios, …all of this creates the right conditions that activate the filament of light within you…

He, Michael Bernard Beckwith, then goes on to talk about how the Universe resides within, how God is within –

And then provides a little “Star Trek” story / analogy about how one of their missions had the enterprise “defending itself against an energy”.

The more the Star-Ship-Enterprise put up its defense, the more this ‘energy’ matched it  and then would ‘up’ its force.

It was at this point, “They Got it” – they just needed to stop fighting it and just allow it to pass through.

And so for us… as we keep protecting ourselves and putting up our “shields” against worst-case-scenarios; the things we don’t want to happen; we keep defending ourselves against the issues in our mind; unresolved issues in our emotions; …etc

the Universe then gives us what we’re defending ourselves against.

That’s not the Universal-Plus factor, that’s just the Universal-Laws matching the vibration you keep putting out.

The host then goes on to provides a description of the “Universal-Plus Factor”.

What it is and how to “live it”.

His speech is done about 10 mins in, that’s when he starts taking in “calls” and helps guide people.

Link to audio: http://www.hayhouseradio.com/listenagain.php?latest=true&archive_link_type=link_mp3&archive_id=10568&show_id=266&episode_id=9848

 

Great Quotes about Change / Choices

Prepared and shared by TouchingStories.ca here are some great quotes relating to  

Change / Choices

"If you don't like how things are, change it! you're not a tree!" ~ Jim Rohn

"The time is always right to do what is right." ~ Martin Luther King Jr.

"There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction." ~ Winston Churchill

"Losers take chances; winners make choices." ~ Denis Waitley

"In a time of rapid change, standing still is the most dangerous course of action." ~  Brain Tracy

"You must be on top of change or change will be on top of you." ~ Mark Victor Hansen

"What the caterpillar calls the end, the rest of the world calls a butterfly." ~  Lao Tzu

"Whatever your present situation, I assure you that you are not your habits. You can replace old patterns of self-defeating behavior with new patterns, new habits of the effectiveness, happiness, and trust-based relationships." ~ Stephen Covey