Friendship and Your Health

Studies show that people with a strong support network – which is ultimately what good friends provide – are less prone to conditions such as depression and are in a better situation to fight back and recover from serious illness. 

Unfortunately, when we are juggling endless responsibilities and find ourselves in a crunch, time committed to friends is often the first thing we sacrifice. Next time you're tempted to cancel a friend, try to remember that the benefits of friendship go far beyond the welcome break they offer – cancel something else instead. 

Tips and Tools You Can Use

Given that friendships contribute to our sense of emotional wellbeing and overall good health, try to consider the time spent with friends as a priority. In other words, stop feeling guilty about the time you spend together and instead enjoy yourself with friends more often! Here are some great tips: 

How your health benefits

• Good friendships contribute to emotional well being, which makes us less susceptible to illness.
• People with a strong support network are less prone to clinical depression.
• Time spent with friends helps to relieve stress.
• It is easier to laugh when you are with friends – and laughter helps to release endorphins, which contribute to wellbeing.
• A strong support network can help to fight serious illness and speed recovery.

Setting healthy examples

• Spending time with healthy friends can increase your likelihood of staying healthy.
• It’s easier to eat healthy foods when your friends do.
• Your level of activity increases when you spend time with active friends.
• When you start a diet with a friend or join a fitness club together, you are more likely to stick with it.
• Healthy lifestyles are ‘catching’ – it’s easier to adopt healthy habits.
• If your friends consider regular medical check-ups part of life, you are more likely to include them in your life.

Providing support

• Focus on supportive friends who talk to you honestly and who are always there for you.
• Another person’s point of view can often help to clarify your own decisions about important issues.
• When you feel tense or upset before challenging or important events, chatting with a friend in person or on the phone can help to reduce stress levels.
• Never be afraid to ask for help in times of need – that’s what friends are for.
• Remember that friendship is reciprocal – be there for your friends as well.

Social benefits

• Socially adept friends can help build your own social skills.
• Friends introduce you to other friends who may become part of your support network or add to your career network.
• Socializing helps to stimulate us and keeps us feeling part of life.
• Even a five minute social chat on the phone can help you get through a bad day.

Helpful Resources

What makes a healthy friendship?
(http://www.loveandlearn.com/questions/q77/default.htm)
Making friends
(http://www.counseling.caltech.edu/html/MakingFriends.html)
Maintaining friendships
(http://www.cyberparent.com/friendship/maintain.htm)

For more information or to arrange an appointment for confidential counselling, contact FGIworld, your EAP/EFAP provider, (24 hours-a-day/7days-a-week) at: 1-800-268-5211 (English) 1-800-363-3872 (en français)

Maintaining Friendship on a Busy Schedule

Young people often maintain many friendships, some of them close, as they go through school and college. As we get older, however, friendships often become casualties as we battle to find time for increasing family and work responsibilities. 

This can be a real loss since strong friendships take time to build and play an important role in our emotional wellbeing. Try to view friendships as one of the priorities in your life and seek opportunities to not only maintain these vital relationships but to nourish them and help them continue to grow. 

Tips and Tools You Can Use

Like most close relationships, friendships need a little work and planning to help them continue to thrive. Try to find time to occasionally review your relationships with friends and find ways to keep them strong and healthy. Here are some great tips to help you: 

Schedule time for friendships

• If you take friendships for granted, they will eventually fade.
• Mark friends’ birthdays in your calendar – plan ahead to celebrate together.
• Plan time in your schedule each week or month to get together with close friends.
• Mark the dates in your calendar and try hard to keep the time open.
• If you are forced to cancel, immediately re-schedule for another time.
• Be flexible with your friends – if they are forced to cancel, don’t take it personally.

Schedule activities together

• If you are always short of time, consider joining up for essential activities.
• Do the grocery shopping together or help each other clean house.
• Get together at the weekend for a giant cook-up session. Share quantities and split them into freezer portions.
• Jog or join the same fitness club.
• Schedule haircuts or other appointments for the same time.
• Take your children to the park or for swimming lessons together.
• If you work close by, commute together or meet for a quick coffee or juice before work.

Stay connected

• Send a quick email about a topic you’re both interested in.
• Phone when you have 5 minutes to spare.
• Leave a cheery message on the answering machine, just to say Hi.
• Send birthday cards and vacation postcards.

Plan special breaks

• Make it a tradition to go away for a weekend together, once a year.
• Plan ahead – half the fun is in the preparation!
• Rent video favourites from your teen years and take photo albums and school Year Books.
• If a weekend is out of the question, plan an indulgent day at a spa.

Be a friend in need

• If a crisis occurs, consider it a priority to be there for your friend.
• Avoid being judgmental - listen and make it clear that your support is always there.
• Offer practical help with the friend’s children or home.
• Let friends in crisis know that they can call on you at any time.
• Keep your word – you would expect no less from your friend if you were in crisis.

Helpful Resources 
Making friends
(http://www.counseling.caltech.edu/html/MakingFriends.html)
Maintaining friendships
(http://www.cyberparent.com/friendship/maintain.htm)

Your great balancing act – tools and advice
(http://www.chatelaine.com/article.jsp?page=health&cid=661127)

For more information or to arrange an appointment

for confidential counselling, contact FGIworld,

your EAP/EFAP provider, (24 hours-a-day/7days-a-week) at:

1-800-268-5211 (English)  1-800-363-3872 (en français)

10 Tips to Make Work Fun

The below is taken from a PDF I found somewhere, I can't even recall where I came from or who provided it to me... either way, the tips shared by Vera Held are Great Reminders to keeping us on track when working. ...sometimes we create our own "drama" by not sticking to the basics.

As always I am willing to give credit where credit is due - if you know who authored the below content, please let me know so that I can reference them. Thank you!

 Ten tips to make work fun

by Vera Held (website: http://www.veraheld.com/index.htm)

Remember the truism: all work and no play, makes Jack a dull boy?

Work can be fun. It's supposed to be an inspired, passionate representative of who you are and what you have to offer skill-wise, talent-wise and personality-wise.

Here are ten tips to make your job more pleasant, more joyful, more fulfilling and ultimately, more fun.

1. Stick to your agenda

Don't get caught up in anyone else's agenda. Doing so will only drain your energy and, therefore, your fun potential.

2. Enjoy all the little moments

Share a morning coffee with a colleague. Laugh over a slight error you made. Try a new restaurant at lunch. Recognize the lighter moments of your day and enjoy them.

3. Be spontaneous

There's a time to stick to your "to do" list and a time to break away. Find ten minutes to sit-in on an exciting project that you’re not assigned to. Take five minutes to read an interesting feature article in your field. These diversions provide a welcome break from your routine.

4. Stay curious

No matter what the situation or project, always ask yourself: "Is there something new here for me to learn?"

5. Get physical

Move around. Stretch. Build in a short walk at lunch. This will help you to stay energized throughout the day.

6. Drink

Keeping a bottle of water at your desk will keep you hydrated and thinking clearly. Aim for eight glasses a day.

7. Think outside the box

Always ask yourself: can I do this a different way? Will it spawn different results if I do?

8. Maintain your interest

Don't allow yourself to feel stuck for too long or it will wear you down. If your job no longer interests you, consider a different career path. Everyone needs a paycheque but there are many ways to get one.

9. Be creative

Try a new idea. Do something you've never done before. Work with a new colleague. Explore. Challenge and test yourself.

10. Don’t sweat the small stuff

Take work seriously but always in conjunction with life as a whole. When something goes wrong, ask yourself: "Is this is a matter of life or death?" If the answer is "No" (and it is 99 per cent of the time) don't panic.

Vera Held, M.Ed. is a coach, speaker, facilitator, writer and the author of the Canadian business best-seller "How Not to Take It Personally." You can reach Vera at (416) 785-3556 or by email at vheld@wwonline.com.

 

MochaSofa, March 2002