Top 10 Email Crabs

I originally had this list saved in my bookmarks - like back in 2008! Wow how time-flies! ...so here we are in 2013 and I'm not ready to address and share the list!

When I viewed it, it was called: Stand up straight and mind your email manners and addressed 10 Email Crab Tips, however now as I "update" my source links, the article is called:

Take your elbows off the table and mind your e-mail manners (and lists 15!!) by the way this wonderful tips are shared to us from the wonderful Crabby Office Lady! (who's now... retired! [sad face])

So... below is "my version" and input on the Crabby Office Lady's list of Email Crabs!

#1 Discretion is the Greater Part of Replying

Just because it was sent to all does NOT mean you should be replying to all. 

Sending out Letters by Mail (Snail Mail): Writing, stamping, and mailing a letter was a lot of work. Plus, each new addressee meant more postage, so we thought hard about whom to send things to.

Example: If I sent a Pledge Form to 10 people, do each of these recipients want to receive updates when a pledge is made? Probably not. So updates were only sent to the sender if he/she made the pledge.

The final letter (to the sender) should include a summary of all pledges - instead of sending everyone an letter every time a pledge is made. 

Emails should be treated similarly. Just because you can (reply-to-all) doesn't necessarily mean you should.

With free sending to an infinity number of people now a reality, every little thought and impulse becomes instant communication. The result: Inbox Overload.

"But my incoming email is important", you cry. 

Don't fool yourself.

Taming email means training the senders to put the burden of quality back on themselves. 

Be sparing with group emails. Send group email only when it is useful to every recipient. Use the "reply all" button only when compiling results requiring collective input and only if you have something to add. Recipients get quite annoyed to open an email that says something like, "Me too!".

Use the blind copy (BCC) and courtesy copy (CC) appropriately. 

Don't use BCC to keep others from seeing who you copied; it shows confidence when you directly CC anyone receiving a copy.

Do use BCC, however, when sending to a large distribution list, so recipients won't have to see a huge list of names. Be cautious with your use of CC; overuse simply clutters inboxes. Copy only people who are directly involved.

#2 Stop Yelling at Me!

Using all CAPS emails - this is called: Flame Mail.

Description: An email message that is mean, hot-tempered, curt, or not-so-polite. It raises your hackles and gets under your skin.

...and unfortunately, its's contagious!

Also, remember that your tone can't be heard in emails. An attempted sarcastic remark in an email can be taken the wrong way. Some people use emoticons [smiley faces], but use them sparingly so that you don't appear unprofessional. Also, don't assume that using a "smiley" will diffuse the message's tone.

USING ALL CAPITAL LETTERS LOOKS AS IF YOU'RE SHOUTING

using all lowercase letters looks lazy

For emphasis, use **asterisks** or bold formatting to emphasize important words.

Do not, however, use a lot of colours or graphics embedded in your message, because not everyone uses the same email program and.. for some these "things" can end-up muddling up the message with a bunch of HTML formatting codes. 

#3 Save the Stationary for "Snail Mail"

Ah?! But it's so cute....!

Again, not everyone uses the same email program and even if they do their settings may be different. Applying templates (backgrounds) to your emails may cause frustrations for the recipients due to how his/her email setup are configured. Your background may end-up being an attachment, which would result in having the recipient having to open up the attachment ...just to find out it's a textured photo?

#4 Things Need a Flow

New items (replies) go at the top of the email message not at the bottom. 

Also it's good practice to keep the original message when replying; this ensures that the recipient "recalls" what was originally requested (message history).

#5 Too Many "Forwards" is One-Step Backwards!

Description: Forwards of useless information (example: Chain Letters; Rumours; Jokes; ...did you know stuff that never happened; etc..)

Don't be part of the problem. 

Always CHECK with a reputable site such as snopes.com or an antivirus website before sending out any types of alarm messages. If a constant stream of jokes from a friend annoys you, be honest and ask to be removed from the list. Direct personal emails to your home email account (if they're being received at work). 

 #6 Don't Be a Cyber-Coward

If you have something to say that's Highly Personal | Scary | Sad | Angry |Tragic | Vicious | Shocking ...or anything similar, please do it in person.

Email communication aren't the best translators.

Don't use email as an excuse to avoid personal contact. Don't forget the value of face-to-face or even voice-to-voice communication.

Communicating via email isn't appropriate when sending confusing or emotional messages. 

Think of the times you've heard someone tell you, "Well, I sent you an email." 

If you have a 'problem' with someone, speak with that person directly.

Don't use emails to avoid an uncomfortable situation or to cover up a mistake.

#7 Thanks, but No Thanks!

File attachments / Picture attachments

3 Reasons to avoid them when possible:

1. It takes a long time to download a large file
2. Email servers are like Studio apartments: There's only so much space to keep everything flowing-nicely
3. Sometimes you're at the mercy of the ISP (examples: Hotel Rooms while travelling)

#8 The Subject "Re:   " Means Nothing to Me

Fill out the subject line... with something meaningful.

When readers see nothing, or read subject lines that don't "seem" meaningful - they could possibly choose to skip over them given that they don't seem important?!

Use the Subject field appropriately - state your content and/or purpose.

If possible agree on acronyms to use that quickly identify actions:

Example: 

<AR> could mean: Action Required

<MSR> could mean: Monthly Status Report

<EOM> could mean: End of Message (no reply needed)

It's also a good practice to include the word [Long] in the subject field, if necessary, so that the recipient knows that the message will require some time to read/review.

#9: Let's Not Forget Signatures! 

• Do use a signature that includes contact information, with a maximum of 6 lines.
• For external (outside your organization) emails, ensure that people know who you are and how to contact you.
• Be 'somewhat' creative in your layout
• ...but remember 6 lines maximum - you don't want your signature to be the biggest part of your email!

#10 Itchy Trigger Finger?

Count to 10 before hitting the SEND button!

Remember: The pushing of the Send button lasts a moment; 

the message you insert (and its effects) can last a lifetime!

Sometimes WE are the ones that need to slow down; at times our reactions aren't the best actions. 

Remember that email isn't 100% private. 

Emails are considered company property and can be retrieved, examined, and use in a court of law.

Ensure to familiarize yourself with your organization's email policies and appropriate usages.

Unless you are using an encrypted device or service, you should assume that any and all emails over the internet is NOT secure. 

Never put in an email message anything that you wouldn't put on a postcard.

Remember that emails can be forwarded fairly easily. 

...You might also inadvertently send something to the wrong party, so always keep your content professional to avoid embarrassment. 

And so like I mentioned at the beginning of this post, the list is now up to 15 - so if you want to read the Crabby Office Lady's complete list, visit her article here: Take your elbows off the table and mind your e-mail manners

Boosting Your Positive Outlook: Tips & Tricks

The following information received from a Positive Outlook / Stress Management session I attended a few years ago. The presenter and the information was provided by: Shepell FGI


Stress is not an event that "happens to us". Our beliefs and perceptions of events are more important than the actual events in determining our level of stress.

When "Stress" occurs (EVENT) how do I typically react (INTERPRETATION)?
Do I react with a state of: Stress | Neutral | Positive 

When we're in the "Stress Whirlpool" the cycle typically looks like this:

Crooked Thinking Habits

Many of us fall into the trap of 'Crooked Thinking'. This term refers to patterns of thought that increase our negativity, fears or worry levels, and as a result elevate our stress levels as well. Such patterns end up altering our view of ourselves and of the world around us.

It is important to note that all Crooked Thinking involves some form of distortion. A number of these distortions seem to be very common and are shared by many in Western society. The good news is that distorted thinking is simply a bad habit. And like any bad habit, one can eliminate or minimize the habit to a point where it  no longer is a problem. The first step is to understand what Crooked Thinking  actually is and what common distortions are present in most cases.

Here are some common forms of thought distortions. You can find more on these and other common thoughts distortions in any book written by Dr. David D. Burns.

Personalization: When we hold ourselves responsible for things over which we have little or no influence, or which have only a minimal connection to us, we are participating in personalization. For example, if a colleague is in a grumpy mood, it would be rational to ask ourselves, "What's going on that he's in such a bad mood?".
However, if we engage in the habit of personalizing, we ask, "What did I do?".
Two useful tools to break out of the crooked thinking pattern of personalization are:
(1) asking ourselves, "Does this realistically have anything to do with me?", and
(2) reminding ourselves of Reinhold Niebuhr's Serenity Prayer:

Magnification or Minimization: This thinking habit occurs when the impact of an event, or our role in it is exaggerated. "Awfulizing" or "Catastrophizing" fall into this category. For example, if I'm having difficulty at work, but I tell myself that I am about to be fired, I am engaging in catastrophic thinking. To challenge this bad thinking habit, we need to ask ourselves, "What is an accurate, realistic description of my actions, or this event?" Talking about an event with others can be helpful, since they can often provide a third-party perspective to help us examine the situation rationally.

All-or-nothing thinking: This type of crooked thinking occurs when we think in absolute black or white terms, with no room for grays. I'm either perfect, or useless. Someone is either wonderful, or hopeless. The future is either heaven or hell. To move into a realistic framework, all-or-nothing thinkers need to look for middle ground where people and events are a mix of good and bad, positive and negative, helpful and unhelpful.

Mind Reading:  When we engage in mind reading, we assume that we know what others are thinking, or what they need or want - usually to our detriment. For instance, going to a party and thinking people are not talking to you because they know you've just gained five pounds is taking the "mind reading" distortion to an absurdity. When we are guilty of mind reading, we need to remember to gather data and information from other people not to assume that we know what they are thinking.

Discounting the Positives: This thinking error occurs when the negative aspects of an event are attended to and the positive aspects are ignored. The phrase, "Seeing the glass half empty" speaks to this particular thinking habit. To break this thinking habit, we need to see events in their entirety, not to focus only on the negative aspects.

"Should / Ought / Must" thinking: When we engage in should/ought/must thinking we habitually set perfectionistic or unrealistic standards for ourselves and others. Statements such as, "My children should be more obedient" or "My husband ought to be more thoughtful" suggest that the current status quo is inadequate, thereby creating stress. To break this habit, we need to become more accepting of "what is" and set standards that can be realistically met.

"Blame" thinking: Blaming others or oneself for events that have occurred, whether or not this assignment of blame is accurate, is a common thinking error. It is premised on the belief that if something has gone wrong, someone must be responsible for it. But this is not always the case, or accurate accountabilities may be complex and inter-related. To alter this thinking habit, we need to be willing to take the time to understand how events occurred, and not immediately point fingers at others.


Negative Thought Diamond

Thought Samplers:

• No one else seems to struggle the way I do.
• I just know we're destroying the ozone layer quicker than experts say, soon we'll have nothing left.
• Feeling like an outsider will always plague my life.
• My boss is making unreasonable demands.
• I'll never be able to get my life "together".
• No one loves me.
• The way things are today, kids don't have a future.
• The problem is so big, I won't be able to cope with it.
• She didn't really mean what she said, you can't trust anyone.
• No one ever helps me. They just don't care.
• I'm hopeless.

Steps for the "Daily Catch"

1. Recognize when you are participating in excessive negative thinking or experiencing excessive stress in your body.

2. Record the situation / events which triggered the negative thoughts or stress.

3. Record all Negative Thoughts that emerged (at least 4-6 thoughts).

4. Identify if these thoughts focus on self, other, future or the world.

5. For each Negative Thought, write down other, more reasonable response based on a clear, rational assessment of the facts (at least 3-4 responses for each negative thought).

Examples:

Triggering Event: My boss just called and asked about the progress of the last project he assigned.

Negative Thought: I should have had it done by now.
Focus of Negative Thought (Self, Others, World, Future): Self.
Reasonable Response: I have not done it by now, because there was no deadline on the project. | He told me other projects were priority right now. | I did complete significant pieces of it, so it'll be clear that I am dedicated and competent.

Negative Thought: He's so useless! He knows nothing at all about delegating!
Focus of Negative Thought (Self, Others, World, Future): Other
Reasonable Response: He asked about the "progress" - not if it's done.

Negative Thinking and Organizational Change: The Deadly Duo

Many of us experience "tough going" when we're surrounded by organizational change. A merger, a round of downsizing, changes in senior leadership - these all create enormous stress. Less extreme changes like getting a new IT system, or a new supervisor, count too! And most of us respond to these stressors by participating in negative thinking. When our means of earning a livelihood starts to shake, we react with fear. Thoughts such as "I'm going to loose my job", "I can't work with this new person" or "The end result of all these changes will be disaster" fill our minds and at times seem to swamp us.

So... if you're experiencing organizational change, take note! If a lot of people are impacted by the change, anticipate to see negativity in the work environment. But you don't have to be part of the problem. Use the Becoming Aware tool frequently to catch small negative thoughts as they pop up. Recognize the stress you're experiencing, and find ways to manage it that are more helpful than indulging in negative thinking. Maintain a proactive, flexible and patient attitude. Look for opportunities in the new changes. Be an exception to the rule, and react to workplace change positively. Decide to be part of the solution!

There's more than one way to...

When we get stuck in looking at an issue from only one perspective, our body reacts with by becoming stressed! Being able to see a situation from more than one perspective is a skill we can all develop to reduce our stress levels. In the book "Managing Your Mind", Butler and Hope offer the following list of questions to help us get better at seeing both the forest and the trees:

• What are the facts?
• Does my thinking fit the facts?
• Could I be making a mistake in how I'm thinking?
• Am I thinking straight?
• What other points of view are there?
• How would someone else (my partner, my boss, a friend...) think about this?
• What is the worst that can happen?
• What can I do if that worst case scenario happens?
• Who can help me with this situation?

And last but not least - probably the most important - the key to positive outlook and happiness is always GRATITUDE.

Keep a GRATITUDE journal always near by and ensure to update it daily!





Related Resources:

www.Mandalacoach.com

www.lifepositive.com

www.meditationsociety.com

 

Protecting Your Online Privacy

Did you know here in Ontario our Information and Privacy Commissioner, Ann Cavoukian, Ph.D., has been a longtime advocate for privacy - she's even developed a concept back in the 90s known as:

"Privacy by Design”, which asserts that “the future of privacy cannot be assured solely by compliance with legislation and regulatory frameworks; rather, privacy assurance must ideally become an organization’s default mode of operation.”

 Just this past December, 2012 -

 the Information and Privacy Commissioner authored a new report – Operationalizing Privacy by Design:A Guide to Implementing Strong Privacy Practices – which examines organizations from a wide range of sectors including telecommunications, technology, healthcare, transportation, and energy and their experiences implementing PbD.

Here are some Important Key Tips provided in  IT in Canada's Pledge to Protect Online Privacy article -

The Information and Privacy Commissioner recommends these five simple resolutions to keep your privacy safe in 2013:

1. I will review my social network privacy settings regularly.

Always understand what you are sharing online and who can see it. Take the time to carefully review the privacy settings for each social network and application you are using. For example, it has become quite common for many applications to add time and geo-location data to photos, thereby allowing anyone to track your location. Remember - these settings can change at any time without your consent, so the onus is on you, the user, to be aware.

2. I will think before I click!

Once you post online, it is very difficult to erase. Numerous new companies have appeared with the sole intent of "cleaning up" online histories.  This is completely unnecessary if you proactively consider what you are posting online. Consider what a future employer or a scholarship funder might think of a post. Carefully evaluate what an identity thief might be able to do with the information you are sharing.

3. I will always consider the five W's of personal information.

Whether you are purchasing a product online or joining a new social network, minimize the amount of personal information you give out. Always evaluate if the website or application really needs so much information to provide you with a service. When divulging information, think about the following five W's: Who wants it and who will have access to it? Why do they want it? What will it be used for? Where will your information be stored? When will your information be used and when will it be discarded?

4. I will make my passwords unique.With numerous programs circulating to break passwords, it is important to keep them difficult to decrypt, but also easy to remember. One straight-forward solution is to use the same word in two languages (i.e. home and maison).  To make it even more difficult to break, use the phonetic spelling of one of the words. The addition of numbers, symbols, and capital letters will also help to ensure strong protection (i.e. Home7Mayzon$).

5. I will carefully read the fine print.

It is imperative that you understand the terms and conditions of any application or program before clicking agree. Buried within this information can be permissions for companies to share your personal information and online habits without your knowledge. (We know this is a tough one - we're asking for a lot!)

"Through web browsing, posting on social networks, and the downloading of applications, personal information about individuals can be easily collected and stored indefinitely, making protecting our online privacy a growing concern," Cavoukian said. "I encourage everyone to make a commitment to protecting themselves by incorporating these five resolutions into their online habits."

The quoted (italic) text in this post is sourced from: Source: http://secur-it.itincanada.ca/index.php?id=18706&cid=395

You can also learn more and hear some of Ontario's Information and Privacy Commissioner's talks via her  YouTube channel: privacybydesign

Here is Dr. Ann Cavoukian's announcement of her latest paper: Operationalizaing Privacy by Design.

Social Networking: Points to Ponder

Given my career background in IT, I still get excited with some of the new technology-creations people come up with and especially get intrigued when things kind-of mesh together so naturally. This means that somewhere behind the code, some really amazing brains created this ~ and this where Social Networking falls-in. Social Networking for me - is a well laid-out map linking (meshing) everyone together in its own mysterious way (for us developers we probably have more of an understanding of what's needed to make this happen - but in the end; you either enjoy it or you don't).

Social Networking is still very primitive, from my point of view, I can see Social Networking moving technology in a whole new direction and potentially changing how people interact with the www (Internet) fairly similar to how Google changed how people searched online.

Whether you are new or old to social networking tool it's important to continue to stay aware of your online presence - being accessible 24/7 to the world. [Unless you've make necessary security adjustments to prevent this - and still this point could be an argued.]

Either way, here are some basic guidelines to review for those of us who have online presence:

#1 Is this Business or Personal?

When you decide to embark within the social networking bandwagon you'll first need to have a email address. Be careful here which email address you use to register - your registration email choice can have an impact on your business-ethics, or could pretty much potentially cost you your job!

If you are using a social networking site (of your choice) for personal usage, however if you choose to use a work-related email address, just ensure that you are aware of your organization's policies and/or verdict on Social Networking usage at work guidelines (if any). Pleading the "naive" card doesn't always ring well with companies - know what your boundaries are and use them wisely.

If your aim is to use social networking sites for personal use - then by all means, use your own personal email address and if you don't have one, get one! There are countless sites out there that you can register yourself with that will provide you with FREE email access.

Other points to ponder related to #1 is to do some house-cleaning. Once your account is created and that you now have an online presence, not just right now but continuously proceed with doing some house-cleaning of this account. Dust doesn't accumulate as quickly online as it does in my living room but it can get messier faster since I "kind-of" really don't see it?! What am I talking about?...

If you don't want to start receiving (or increase your already existing) SPAM email counts, you'll have to decide what it is you wish to share with the public (a.k.a. the entire world).

First decide if you wish to make your email address visible on this new social networking site, and if you do - should it be visible to everyone or only to selected few?

Second - go through your social networking site's settings / options and review all of it's settings and options. I'm 100% sure you'll find some very interesting things here; similar to when you decide to move your sofa to do some "real" cleaning... you always find 'stuff' here don't-cha?!

Ok so what to look for... check for setting that will send you email notifications. Do you really want to receive an email every time someone interacts with your social networking site? If no, then by all means - disable these unnecessary notifications! Especially if you've registered using your work-related email account! Hello! IT will be knocking on your door (or cubicle) anytime - your dozen if not hundreds of notifications (which are basically spam messages) are taking up room in the email system and is using up what we IT people call useless bandwidth. ...You're going to be checking your social networking site anyways so why have redundant messages telling you the same thing you'll be seeing when you log-in to the site?!

There are countless other sections I could drill into but once you open-up this beast take time to tame it and you'll be pleasantly surprised at just how manageable social networking sites can be - but don't just open this section up once! Return to your options; settings; security; privacy... whatever it's call - fairly frequently. I make it a challenge to check my settings on my sites at least every 3 months (quarterly).

#2 Friends / Associates

Choose wisely! Friends are the links between you and people. This is what Social Networking sites are based on. The more the merrier (for them!).

What should you do and/or not do?

Well first the obvious - don't go "hitting" on your friends' friends. This is a "no-no". If you wouldn't flirt with random people when walking through the mall, then why would things be any different when you are hiding behind your social network profile? This goes the same for "poking" - please "poke" carefully. Sometimes what you think is done in good fun or what you think is a simple "Poke - Hey, how's it going?", could turn High-School drama on you in a split second!

Another area is counts - some people think it's important that they have a high number of Friends in their list. They know everyone! ...sure you do!? That's why you're at home Saturday night "creeping" people's profiles... [sarcasm gets the better part of me at times, I don't stop it cause I like it! ...what's that old saying, "If you can't take the heat then get out of the kitchen!"]

Just because you and Jo-Blow like the same song on YouTube doesn't mean you should request him to become your friend. If you think you've got more then 'a song' in common and would like to 'get-to-know-each-other' then send him a private message. This way, if he chooses to ignore you (which is fine - really cause liking the song "Don't-cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me" doesn't mean he's looking?!). Sending someone a private message puts the "ball" in their court and presents them with the choice of either "playing" or "turning down" the opportunity. In your private message you can then also state what your intentions are (ex. common interests; live in the same community; participate some similar sports; go to the same University maybe we could meet up for lunch and discuss Philosophy?...).

#3 Think Before you Post!

Back in my day, people didn't just shout out (yes out-loud) randomly "statuses" during class, or at work, or while walking down the street!? Today, social media sites and social networking sites make "shouting" so easy that it's almost an obsession. "I need to tell people what I'm doing/thinking right now cause my pose online is just dying to know!"... ya I sit here waiting for you to update your status... sure if I were stalking you!

Yes it's nice to get updates and get interaction with people -cause that's what "social networking" is all about, however choose your messages wisely, and especially how you wish to share them.

Example - Mary-Lou wants to throw her husband a surprise party. She broadcasts the event on Facebook to let everyone know when and where. Mary-Lou didn't check her Facebook account notifications and so all of her notifications are still "active". Her husband checks their email account, and voila get to read everyone's comment about his upcoming party.--> Bad judgment on Mary-Lou's part. <--

Another example - Betty-Jo thinks Susan & her husband are having issues. Instead of posting her concerns on Susan's Facebook wall (which might be public to everyone to read) she sends her a Private message. Susan replies back and let's Betty-Jo know that, "no everything is fine - John's work is just going through some restructuring so he's a little depressed at the moment, but we're seeing a therapist to help us cope with this. Thanks for your concern." --> Good judgment call on Betty-Jo's part. <--

Other common-sense "faux-pas":

• Spamming people
• Flame wars (don't argue publicly online)
• Keep it PG13
• Busy-bodies exist everywhere, even online (some people just live for drama!)

#4 Privacy

Don't forget to check your privacy settings regularly. As stated in rule #1 - Return to your options; settings; security; privacy... whatever it's call - fairly frequently.

Be aware of what it is you are forward-facing out publicly. Is it too much? Is it inappropriate? If you are friends (online) with all of your work colleagues, and at the same time are bashing your work or your boss... how long do you expect this to go on prior to them finding out?

#5 What's your Purpose / Mission?

Are you promoting something? Are you selling something? Is your site topic specific? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then maybe creating a social networking site specific for your business or product would be more appropriate. You could have two sites, one for personal usage and one more topic/business related. You could even create "Fan Pages" so that some of your friends can acknowledge your product or topic and provide feedback without seeming like your friendship is intertwined with you topic/business.

Bottom line, social networking sites can be fun and are full of "did you know..." gossip-like details. Social networking site's newsfeeds will pretty much (one-day) replace our local papers and who knows maybe even tv and radio live-media sources. Everything will just be online since news is shared faster (in live-time) this way and can be changed/updated in real-time. No make-up prep; hairdressers; cameramen; lighting; and all that jazz... heck maybe even our taxes will go down, yeh right?! ...Was worth the mention, right?!

Just remember - whatever you choose to do online, choose wisely. It's easy to forget the picture you posted of your friend in high school puking in the backyard [cause that was funny??] - only to find it 8 years later, re-posted online by someone else just when he/she [you're-now-no-longer-friend] is completing his/her Political Science degree. Think about it...

What you think is funny, is it REALLY? Would you go out of your way, print this out and send it as a postcard to your friend in Australia, and would they actually laugh about it, really?!

Be smart. Think twice. And remember, do onto others what you would want done to you. If you wouldn't want someone to share something about you, then by all means - don't share it about them. If you wish someone would have "minded-their own business", then mind your own too (or if you are really concerned, contact them directly - privately.)

Social Networking - use at your own discretion. ...I think if you read some of the fine print, in the terms of agreement - somewhere - it states that you have to have some common sense to use their product..., I'm pretty sure I read that somewhere... ;-)