4/25/2011

Stop, Challenge, and Choose.

Personal Development and exploration always fascinates me - I love learning how my personality,my upbringing, my habits, my beliefs, my assumptions... all of it work together. These synergies all interconnected make me who I am today, right now.

As each moment passes by, I'm absorbing new things - however my mind only keeps what it "believes" I want it to keep; Thus choosing to live conscientiously is initially a challenge since you have to "be awake" continuously to your mind's activity... you have to tell it "yes" or "no" to what's going on around you.

For example - You drive (or ride) to work, typically the same way everyday.
Since you've driven this route, probably hundreds of times, your mind doesn't really pay attention to its 'surroundings' all that much (unless of course there's something completely new or out of the norm). 
You're on autopilot. 

I'm not saying that you're not paying attention to the road per-say - just saying that you might not be noticing as much of what's going on around you. Your brain probably is going to take this time to have you think about what to make for supper; did you lock the door when you left; do you have to pick up anything on your way back home; did you remember to bring your lunch; etc...

Choosing to live 'awake' forces you during 'these' moments to 'come back to reality'. 
Force yourself to not go into autopilot-mode and to live 'in the now'.
Take a look around you and give appreciation to everything...

Be thankful that your alive.
Be thankful that you have a job.
Be thankful that you have a way to get to work.
Be thankful of what you have.
Be thankful that you're able to see, hear, taste and speak.
Be thankful that you're conscientious enough to be grateful for this moment.

We live in a world that's so fast-pace and perfection-oriented. We want everything yesterday and we want the latest and greatest in perfect condition and it better-be better then my neighbours'! 
...all this and for what? Who are we trying to "beat", who we trying to please?

Choosing to live a simpler life, acknowledging your current state and be grateful for each passing moment is the greatest success of life. You are where you are supposed to be, right now; doing exactly what you are meant to be doing, right now. This is where you'll learn what you need to know, right now.

Each moment is a new moment. It's a new time. It's a new experience. 
You can make each of these moments new, again - as long as you stay 'awake' to each and every moment granted to you. I'm not saying this is easy - I'm saying that this is your challenge. 

“I’m not telling you it’s going to be easy – I’m telling you it’s going to be worth it.” – Art Willams

Choosing to make each moment YOUR moment; by not allowing your mind to rob you of them and set you on autopilot, will have you gain a whole new perspective of time, of life. 

When you sit on your couch in the evening and feel like you've accomplished nothing - start jotting down your daily activities and you'll come to realize that you did accomplish a lot. 

Gain new appreciations for your moments by allowing yourself the time to be grateful for them. 
Saying "Thank You" repeatedly out loud tells your brain that, "This IS ok - I am allowed to enjoy this moment and not have to think about what needs to get done..."

How can you enjoy moments, this moment, if you don't 'give' yourself permission to enjoy them?
Where is this guilt coming from? Why am I not allowed to do nothing, to think about nothing...
Does this mean I'm unworthy? I'm a slacker? I don't deserve this time and if I take it, it'll be time wasted...


In the book Play to Win! by Larry Wilson & Hersch Wilson - 

Larry Wilson, Hers...


the authors explains:
"...Stop, Challenge, and Choose is the fundamental skill to use to stay on plan. When you do not feel positive (or at least neutral) about where you are going or you are being pulled backwards, stop and ask yourself: Is this choice, is this feeling, helping me or hurting me in my pursuit toward a goal or action plan? Challenge your irrational thinking. Choose to stay on course.
Persistence is no doubt one of the most valuable attributes in making progress toward a goal. Stop, Challenge, and Choose is a tool of persistence. It is best used to intervene as we lose focus on our plan or to help us assure that one of the eighty-three problems doesn't become a barrier that is impossible to cross.
A Strategy to change. The powerful incantation "I choose". A commitment to do whatever it takes. Under the laws of life in our universe, this is how we create the highest probability of creating the results we want. It might be difficult, but it is rarely impossible. Don't let difficulty stop you, because it is from doing difficult things that we truly grow. It is from doing difficult things that we call out our ability to play to win." 
Stop, Challenge and Choose.

Stop listening to your autopilot 'voice'. That voice is your sub-conscience mind bringing forward to you past "files" that it thinks you should believe / listen to. These "files" are things that you've always done; things that have happened around you that you've come to accept; things that you (believe / feel / think) are right (or used to be right?); etc... all of these "files" are stored somewhere and come out when opportunities present themselves. 

So when you're taking a shower you have a preference as to how you like to wash your hair - this had to have come from somewhere, right? 
When you go to bed you might have a routine or preferred side or something - again this had to have come from somewhere...

All of these 'patterns' are your mind's way of confirming it's "files". When you keep doing the same things you are programming your mind in believing what you are doing is right. So that's where / when you do something different, out of pattern, your entire being "feels wrong" - this is because you're not following your mind's pattern of 'rights'. It may or may not be right or wrong but just because it's out of the ordinary, it just feels wrong. 

Habits / Patterns aren't necessarily good or bad - they're just ways for us to do things 'quicker' and/or provide us with some type of 'comfort' (a known way). "Just fits me". "Just feels right." "Just because." "I can't change." "I'm too scared."

Choosing to live 'awake' has you awaken each of these habits/pattern moments and ask yourself:

Why am I doing this? 
Do I really need to do this (this way)? 
Is this the only way?
What would happen if I changed this?

This is called: Stop.

You've stopped your autopilot-mode and have chosen to re-evaluate your mind "file" in regards to this particular habit/pattern. Is this "file" in my mind, right or wrong? Do I want to change it?

Several of these questions and "habit" shifting techniques are examined in Dr. Wayne Dyer's book Excuses Begone!


Wayne Dyer

Now you are ready to work: Challenge.

Where does this "file" come from? 
Is it something I learnt? Does it even provide any value?
What is it that I think / feel about this habit / pattern?
Why do I think / feel this way about (it)?
Can I, Should I, be changing this way of thinking / feeling?

And then comes the next step: Choose.

Here you get to conscientiously choose what YOU want to "file" vs. having your mind auto-pickup what it "thinks/believes" you want it to record. And just like any other habit/pattern this will require some conscientious awakening and willpower since you are re-writing your brain's mental notes.

All-in-all countless studies and experiments have proven these basic strategies to work. 
You are in complete control of your life and CAN determine your outcomes, as long as you CHOOSE to "stay awake" to life's journey (every moment) and continuously challenge your choices.

Just because I choose to do something different today (now) doesn't mean that in 2 years from now it'll be the same right choice for me then... When I'm there (in the future) I'll know better what'll be best for me. 

If I choose to use-up my now time thinking about my future, then I'm NOT now living my now; I'm auto-piloting.
What good am I to my now surroundings if I'm too busy preparing for my tomorrow? 
I'm missing out on my now.

So how are YOU being reflected throughout the universe?

If I'm self-indulging for my future, what mentor-ship role am I providing to my surroundings?
...Could I be programming my children's minds to start auto-piloting?
"...Live life at a fast-pace and always try to be perfect.Continuously prepare for tomorrow cause today is too late - it's almost over.Don't bother with anyone or anything cause they're not worth it.Don't give back - and take whatever you can - cause you deserve everything, they owe you.Everyone owes you. No one understands and don't even bother trying to explain things to them - they won't t get it.."
Wow, isn't that a nasty message to add to your mental notes.
Is this what you truly believe to be true?

...I didn't think so -

Instead, how about we record in our minds:

"Live life now. Life is happening now.Look around you and say 'Thank You' for everything, for everyone....Be grateful for what you have and for who you are - right now, at this very moment.
Nothing will ever be perfect - because you are already perfectYou're as perfect as you need to be today, right now.
Observe what goes on around you, meanwhile in your mind, stay awake and conscientiously CHOOSE what to "keep" and what to "reject" - with regards to everything happening around you. Don't allow your mind to do this for you. Just make sure to record "what's right for you" in YOUR mind.[...cause whatever is happening COULD be RIGHT in someone else's mind (for them)...This is where you'll STOP, and ask yourself those questions - then Challenge your responses and finally CHOOSE which mental notes you wish to record in your "files". Take Control of your life.]
Decide to be the change you want to see in the world and take action on those changes. Don't just be, just because. 
You were important enough to be given life - and you made it until now...that's because you have a purpose, you are the purpose. 
Give back to life what it's given you - Love & Faith.Life loves you for who you are and has complete Faith in you - You can do this!"
Every morning when you wake up and need that little boost of inspiration - 
reach for this short poem by Emily Matthews, 
stand in front of a mirror and read out loud to yourself:

For a Special Friend
Lord bless my friend for all the things she takes the time to do,
The thoughtfulness she puts behind each act of kindness, too.
Bless her for the loving way she brightens many days
With caring and encouragement, and compliments and praise.
Bless her for her faith in me, her words that help me grow -
For being just the dearest friend I think I'll ever know.
~ Emily Matthews ~

Allow yourself to be loved, to feel love, and to love - Full Circle.
...and make sure to include the: love yourself in there too!
What goes around, comes around. Acceptance is key.

Myers-Briggs - What's Your Type?

Most people, at some point or another, reach a point where they're unsure as to what line-of-work / career path they should pursue. Now-a-days there are various tests, quizzes, heck probably blood-type indicators that will help direct you in some manner... either way choosing a line-of-work / career path isn't something you need to set in stone. Like most other activities (example: sports; fitness program; hobby classes; etc...) it's a "try it out and see if you like it" dabble - although with some career path requiring education first-hand, some of these 'dabbles' might be a little-costly if it turns out that this isn't something you 'see yourself doing' for an extended period of time... hence why a majority of individuals choose to attempt some form of 'testing' to see if their instincts are in-sync with some of the testing results.

And this is where the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) assessment comes in to play.
According to Wikipedia:

"As the MBTI Manual states, the indicator "is designed to implement a theory; therefore the theory must be understood to understand the MBTI".
Fundamental to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is the theory of psychological type as originally developed by Carl Jung. Jung proposed the existence of two dichotomous pairs of cognitive functions:
  • The "rational" (judging) functions: thinking and feeling
  • The "irrational" (perceiving) functions: sensing and intuition
Jung went on to suggest that these functions are expressed in either an introverted or extraverted form. From Jung's original concepts, Briggs and Myers developed their own theory of psychological type, described below, on which the MBTI is based."

MBTI has a grouping of four opposite pairs, or dichotomies (as some call them), with each of these four groupings providing four dichotomies within each, thus resulting with 16 possible psychological types. Typically

Dichotomies 
Extraversion (E) - (I) Introversion 
   Sensing (S) - (N) Intuition 
Thinking (T) - (F) Feeling 
    Judgment (J) - (P) Perception
"Note that the terms used for each dichotomy have specific technical meanings relating to the MBTI which differ from their everyday usage. For example, people who prefer judgment over perception are not necessarily more judgmental or less perceptive. Nor does the MBTI instrument measure aptitude; it simply indicates for one preference over another.[17]:3 Someone reporting a high score for extraversion over introversion cannot be correctly described as more extraverted: they simply have a clear preference." 
"According to Myers and Briggs, people use all four cognitive functions. However, one function is generally used in a more conscious and confident way. This dominant function is supported by the secondary (auxiliary) function, and to a lesser degree the tertiary function. The fourth and least conscious function is always the opposite of the dominant function. Myers called this inferior function the shadow.
The four functions operate in conjunction with the attitudes (extraversion and introversion). Each function is used in either an extraverted or introverted way. A person whose dominant function is extraverted intuition, for example, uses intuition very differently from someone whose dominant function is introverted intuition."
The Sixteen Types are as follows:
ISTJ
ISFJ
INFJ
INTJ
ISTP
ISFP
INFP
INTP
ESTP
ESFP
ENFP
ENTP
ESTJ
ESFJ
ENFJ
ENTJ

Variations on existing testing methods and/or enhancement to already existing testings are continuously popping-up and keep evolving.

To learn more about Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) visit Wikipedia's page of references:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator or visit The Myers & Briggs Foundation website:
http://www.myersbriggs.org/.

Here are some web-links where (it seems like) FREE testing is available - however it is always recommended that you seek the assistance of trained professionals when you are ready to pursue this testing seriously.
But in the meantime, if you're looking just for fun - try these out - they're not full-fledge 'real' testing but it'll give you an overall general idea of what you could expect:

Personality Pathways: Myers Briggs Code Cryptic
HumanMetrics: Jung Typology Test (1)Jung Typology Test (2)
Team Technology: Myers Briggs Personality Type
Sonja Elen Kisa: Personality Test

Tips for Hanging Picture Frames and Framed Art

To See Visual Examples and Explore more options, visit my one of my Pinterest boards:  http://pinterest.com/tammymathieu   General Hang...