Maintaining Friendship on a Busy Schedule

Young people often maintain many friendships, some of them close, as they go through school and college. As we get older, however, friendships often become casualties as we battle to find time for increasing family and work responsibilities. 

This can be a real loss since strong friendships take time to build and play an important role in our emotional wellbeing. Try to view friendships as one of the priorities in your life and seek opportunities to not only maintain these vital relationships but to nourish them and help them continue to grow. 

Tips and Tools You Can Use

Like most close relationships, friendships need a little work and planning to help them continue to thrive. Try to find time to occasionally review your relationships with friends and find ways to keep them strong and healthy. Here are some great tips to help you: 

Schedule time for friendships

• If you take friendships for granted, they will eventually fade.
• Mark friends’ birthdays in your calendar – plan ahead to celebrate together.
• Plan time in your schedule each week or month to get together with close friends.
• Mark the dates in your calendar and try hard to keep the time open.
• If you are forced to cancel, immediately re-schedule for another time.
• Be flexible with your friends – if they are forced to cancel, don’t take it personally.

Schedule activities together

• If you are always short of time, consider joining up for essential activities.
• Do the grocery shopping together or help each other clean house.
• Get together at the weekend for a giant cook-up session. Share quantities and split them into freezer portions.
• Jog or join the same fitness club.
• Schedule haircuts or other appointments for the same time.
• Take your children to the park or for swimming lessons together.
• If you work close by, commute together or meet for a quick coffee or juice before work.

Stay connected

• Send a quick email about a topic you’re both interested in.
• Phone when you have 5 minutes to spare.
• Leave a cheery message on the answering machine, just to say Hi.
• Send birthday cards and vacation postcards.

Plan special breaks

• Make it a tradition to go away for a weekend together, once a year.
• Plan ahead – half the fun is in the preparation!
• Rent video favourites from your teen years and take photo albums and school Year Books.
• If a weekend is out of the question, plan an indulgent day at a spa.

Be a friend in need

• If a crisis occurs, consider it a priority to be there for your friend.
• Avoid being judgmental - listen and make it clear that your support is always there.
• Offer practical help with the friend’s children or home.
• Let friends in crisis know that they can call on you at any time.
• Keep your word – you would expect no less from your friend if you were in crisis.

Helpful Resources 
Making friends
(http://www.counseling.caltech.edu/html/MakingFriends.html)
Maintaining friendships
(http://www.cyberparent.com/friendship/maintain.htm)

Your great balancing act – tools and advice
(http://www.chatelaine.com/article.jsp?page=health&cid=661127)

For more information or to arrange an appointment

for confidential counselling, contact FGIworld,

your EAP/EFAP provider, (24 hours-a-day/7days-a-week) at:

1-800-268-5211 (English)  1-800-363-3872 (en français)

Self-Assessment: Anxiety

Many of us are struggling to balance increasing workloads with added family pressures, such as financial issues and the care-giving needs of both children and ailing adult loved ones. The result can be an overload of stress which, for 25% of us, leads to anxiety disorders at some point during our lives. 

When stress begins to feel out of hand, it is time to assess whether you may be suffering from an anxiety disorder. Given that this is one of the easiest mental conditions to treat, diagnosis is the first step towards recovery. Now could be the perfect day to begin. 

Tips and Tools You Can Use

Stress isn't an illness. It is merely mental or emotional tension and has a positive role to play in the release of adrenaline, which helps us face life's deadlines and challenges. However, if your reaction to stress becomes exaggerated or irrational, it is time to ask your doctor about anxiety disorders. Here are some tips to help you get started: 

Symptoms may include

• Chronic worrying, nervousness and heightened fears.
• Shaking, twitching or trembling.
• Hot flushes, sweating.
• Dizziness, light-headedness.
• Numbness or tingling.
• Breathlessness or a choking sensation.
• Racing heart, tight chest.
• Feelings of impending doom.
• Depression and insomnia.
• Sudden panic attacks which may involve trembling, shaking, racing heart, tight chest, breathlessness, a choking sensation and feelings of being out of control.
• Fear of panic attacks.
• Phobias, involving an irrational fear of certain objects or situations.
• Extreme fear of being humiliated or 'shown up' in front of others, resulting in difficulty speaking, writing or interacting in public.
• Continual and compulsive unwanted thoughts or ritual actions that cannot be controlled.
• Anxiety that is impacting on your life.
• Anxiety vs stress
• Panic Attacks

Some of the above symptoms may indicate other, more serious conditions. 

Please check with your doctor. 

Treatment

• A thorough physical examination to rule out any physical medical conditions.
• Cognitive Behaviour Therapy involves gaining understanding of thinking patterns, gradual exposure to and mastery of situations that have provoked anxiety, and various strategies-including breathing and relaxation techniques-to reduce unwanted reactions.

·         Medications  

o   Access to Health Canada medication related information (http://www.hc-c.gc.ca/english/product.htm)

o   Health Canada drug product database  (http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/hpb-dgps/therapeut/htmleng/dpd.html

o   What's this pill for again?

(http://www.50Plus.com)

• A combination of medication and therapy
• Coping with anxiety

o   Simple things you can do to control stress (http://stress.about.com/library/weekly/aa112600a.htm)

• Supporting someone with anxiety

 

Helpful Resources

Self-assessment questionnaire

(http://www.anxieties.com/self.php)

Anxiety Disorders Association of Manitoba (ADAM)

(http://www.adam.mb.ca/about.html)

This article is not intended to replace professional consultation. Please see your doctor for all medical concerns.

For more information or to arrange an appointment

for confidential counselling, contact FGIworld,

your EAP/EFAP provider, (24 hours-a-day/7days-a-week) at:

1-800-268-5211 (English) 1-800-363-3872 (en français)